Page 124 of Not in My Book

“You don’t have to lie anymore, Aiden. It’s over. You don’t have to pretend you want to be with me.”

He looked like he’d been punched. “Rosie, what are you talking about? I’ve wanted to be with you this whole time! I never lied about that.”

“Oh please!” I said, throwing my hands up. “You hated me that first semester. You berated me constantly in class—”

“I didn’t know how else to get you to notice me. Itoldyou this, Rosie. I thought I was protecting myself—and you.”

“What a fucking cop-out,” I spat.

“It’s not.” He pushed. “I liked you the moment I saw you, Rosie. I wasn’t lying at all.”

I’d done this before. I’d convinced myself that a relationship was something it wasn’t for nearly a decade. I let Simon walk all over me, because I thought it was better to love than to be loved. But I wanted more, Ideservedmore.

“All youdidwas lie. You lied when you said you liked me. You lied about the fellowship. You lied—”

“Ididn’t, Rosie.” He stepped toward me and reached for my hands. I snatched them away, but that didn’t stop him. “Rosie, I’m an idiot. I don’t do romance. I don’t knowhow—but I’m trying right now to be one of your heroes.”

“Well, you’re doing a shit job.”

“I’m doing the best I can, Rosie,” he said his voice low and pleading. “I’m new at this.”

“I’ve read plenty of romantic heroes, Aiden. I’ve seen all different types of grand gestures, and I can say with certainty those heroes didn’t go in yelling.”

“You’re the one who started yelling,” he muttered.

“Whatever!” I threw my hands up. “You broke my heart, Aiden. Sorry if I’m not so keen on accepting your red roses.” I tried to keep the tears in. His eyes locked with mine, studying me. The only sounds, besides the birds chirping and cicadas singing around us, were the sounds of my beating heart and his ragged breath.

“I came here because you didn’t read the last chapters.” He grew serious at this, his voice low and intent. He held out the chapters between us, but I ignored the papers.

“Yes, I did,” I lied.

“No, you didn’t. Ida told me.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course she did.”

He pulled his phone out, scrolling through it before holding up the screen to me. I squinted, reading an email from Ida:

I thought you should know Rosie hasn’t read the last chapters. I hope you both can forgive me for mentoring you one last time.

“She emailed me this morning. I went down to her office, and she explained everything. I didn’t know you hadn’t read the last chapters. I didn’t know you went back to Tennessee.”

“None of this even matters.” I turned around and started toward my door, but he was at my tail.

“I went to your apartment every day. I hit your buzzer a million times until Alexa would send me away, and that stupid fucking brick wasn’t there when I needed it the most. I went to Think Coffee every morning. I ate nearly every meal at the Hideout, hoping to see you there. I didn’t just lie down and die, Rosie, I justdidn’t know.”

“Stop!” I said, tears finally brimming over. “Don’t tell me this! I don’t want to know any of this. How do I know you’re not lying again?”

“Rosie, if I knew you weren’t in New York, I would’ve gotten the first flight out here. Ididthat. The minute Ida told me everything, I went straight to LaGuardia.” He paused. “I didn’t write our breakup.”

“Sure,” I scoffed. We’d spent so much time writing ourselves into our book, but I’d never really known how similar we truly were to Max and Hunter. Competing for the same fellowship like they would for clients. We had written our fate, and I wasn’t naïve enough to think Aiden could let it end on a happy note.

“I didn’t,” he said emphatically. “I asked you after class if you had read it, and you said you did. I thought you were rejecting me, but that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have let you walk away that second time.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to make his words feel like nothing to me. I felt myself believing him, but I couldn’t do this again. I wouldn’t let myself fall in love with the faux version of himself he was presenting.

“Rosie, I’m begging you to read them.”

“Don’t you see it doesn’t matter?” I snapped. “I don’twantto, Aiden. I don’t want to forgive you. I don’t want to get hurt again. I won’t do it.”

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