Page 117 of Not in My Book

“Logan,” Jess reprimanded.

“What? It’s true. He gains Rosie’s trust like this, lies to her, and leaves her blindsided? He’s exactly who we thought he was.”

“He’s not evil for submitting to the same fellowship as Rosie,” Tyler said.

“No, but he should’vetoldher.”

“Rosie, are you okay?” Jess asked.

I didn’t say anything for a moment before taking a heavy breath. “I should go. I’m meeting Aiden,” I said numbly.

I couldn’t stop the resentment that lingered from the beginning of the semester from infiltrating my thoughts. I wasmadat him. How many times did I talk about the fellowship with him? How many times did he watch me anxiously refresh my email waiting for this result? He listened each time, knowing he had already submitted. And never told me. I was mad that he’d lied to me about so much and yet my heart could still skip a beat when I said his name.

“Be careful, Rosie,” Jess said quietly.

The New York sun had just begun to set. Aiden had told me a million times that he was sure summers in Tennessee were nice, but nothing compared to the ones in New York. My southern heart had been reluctant to admit he was right, but he was. The sidewalks cooled down, the streets were full of people sitting on benches and at outdoor restaurants, smiling. The city came alive in the summer. After such harsh winters, it felt like every New Yorker was eager to soak up as much sun as the skyscrapers would permit.

The walk to Raoul’s wasn’t too far. Aiden was waiting outside for me, his hands in his pockets. A grin split his face when he saw me, and he gathered me into a hug.

“God, I missed you today,” he said into my hair. When I didn’t hug him back immediately, he pulled back and searched my eyes. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” I stepped away from him a little, wrapping my arms around my torso so I didn’t have to touch him. He must not know yet.

His eyes tracked my motion, frowning slightly. “Okay,” he said slowly. “Does Raoul’s still sound good to you? If you’d rather go to La Pecora Blanca we can swing by there instead.”

“Raoul’s is good.”

He frowned. “Is everything okay? You seem off. Usually you’d pull up the dessert menus to decide.”

“I’m fine,” I said a little too sharply and his frown only deepened. He peered down at me, as if he could read what was wrong on my face. “Aiden, it’s nothing.”

“It’s not. I can tell when you’re upset. Rosie, I know you.”

“Maybe you don’t,” I snapped. “And maybe I don’t know you.”

His head jerked back. “Where is this coming from?”

When I was a kid, I used to get into terrible fights with my mom. I’d say mean things to her, but she’d always sit there and patiently wait for my temper to cool. The whole time I fought with her, I’d have this out of body experience where I couldseemyself acting horribly. And I’d wonder,Why am I being such a jerk to someone I love so much?

That’s how it felt with Aiden now.

Wordlessly, I pulled out my phone and handed it to him. He shot me a confused glance, but then he scanned the screen and his expression registered understanding. He was silent as he handed the phone back to me.

“Why didn’t you tell me about you applied?”

He shook his head slightly. “I don’t know. I couldn’t find the right time.”

“I told you countless times about how much this meant to me. Howlife changingit could be … how I wanted to prove that romance could win a prestigious award like this.”

He wouldn’t meet my gaze. “Rosie, it’s really not a big deal.”

I reared my head back. “How could you say that? It’s beennothingbut a big deal to me.”

“Are you jealous or something?”

“No, Aiden,” I snapped. “I’m not fucking jealous that your tortured man piece appealed to other tortured men. It’s not really innovative in the literary world. I’m mad that you fucking lied to me.”

The angry words were pouring out of my mouth before I could stop them. I hated how he looked like Aiden from September, and I looked like Rosie from September. I could feel our defenses going up, and I was defenseless against it.

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