Page 70 of Not in My Book

My chest was rising up and down, anger boiling inside of me threatening to spill over. He wanted a reaction, like always. I wanted to call him a child and scream at him until his ears bled. But he just stood there, perfectly still, unbothered. The cold look in his eye worse than any wind of the city. This person was so different from my Aiden from last night. I didn’t know what to do to bring him back to me.

“Aiden, I like being your friend so much more than this,” I said angrily. I wanted to avoid getting hurt, but it seemed as if that was my only option with Aiden. “I don’t want to fight with you again. That wasn’t what I meant.”

His head turned away from me toward the traffic. It was rush hour, and we were being the type of assholes that stood in the middleof the sidewalk. New Yorkers shoved past us, uncaring about our drama.

He spoke in a low voice, his eyes deadly. “I’m not looking for friendship from someone who’d rather live in a world inside her head. You can’t write me into one of your heroes like you tried to with Simon. Grow up and stop thinking life is a romance novel. Itisn’t.”

I wasn’t sure if it was the sound of the traffic or the heartbeat pulsing in my ears that brought on the headache, making tears spring at the back of my eyes. But I wouldn’t ever give Aiden the satisfaction of seeing them fall.

“That was a low fucking blow,” I said, my voice wobbling. “I guess I was right about you in the first place.”

When the tears began to pool, something washed over Aiden’s face. He stepped toward me, but I had already turned around for the train station, glad I wouldn’t have to see him for a month.

WINTER

“I’m sorry,” I said, meaning every word. If I had an ounce of courage, I would look Maxine in the eye and tell her how wonderful I thought she was. How I wanted to pick her brain and find a way to weave myself into her thoughts.

But I wasn’t brave. I was a coward, unsure how to apologize to someone who meant more to me than even I’d realized. If only I could tell her how it tore me up, knowing I was the reason she had shed tears. I was drenched in regret, stuck replaying the way her lips felt against mine for the rest of my life. I knew I’d compare the feel of every woman to the small sliver of skin I felt on her waist.

Words were the deadliest weapons Max and I had. We learned how to sharpen them and wield them with extreme efficiency. And when it was time to strike, we did it to kill. But I don’t think either of us realized how deep the wounds were until the knife had already been dug in.

“Forgive me.” I apologized because I’d been the one to dig the knife in too deep. I apologized because I couldn’t stand the idea of causing her pain. I apologized because I missed her, more than anything.

—Excerpt fromUntitledby Rosie Maxwell and Aiden Huntington

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Aiden and I had barely spoken in almost two weeks. Okay,technicallywe had, through Max and Hunter. He apologized and I accepted it for the sake of the story:

“I can’t hate you anymore,” I said quietly. “We’re too far gone for that. I don’t want to go back to where we were.”

“We won’t,” Hunter replied immediately. “I promise, I won’t let you down again.”

But I’d be lying if I said his words didn’t echo in my head. If it didn’t change the way I thought about him as he carved out all my insecurities and laid them out between us. Still, I knew I’d miss him too much to stay mad for long.

It had no consequence on our real lives. I hadn’t seen him since our last class. I’d thought it would be easier this way, but the radio silence between us was so much worse than us being outwardly angry with each other. I missed his assholery.

It was quiet in my apartment; the only sound was the Christmas music playing softly on my phone. Christmas Eve was in a few days, and Alexa had gone home for break, so I had the place to myself.

I had nothing better to do than spend the holiday working ahead in our book. Aiden must’ve had the same thought because every so often, he’d text me:Chapter’s done.

It was pure agony, especially since the romance had started to pick back up between Max and Hunter. Ida had sent us an email with notes for our midterm, detailing all the things she liked, what we could improve with further revision, and some guidance for the rest of the manuscript:

I’m sensing there’s something more to the story than what you’re writing here, which is fine so long as it doesn’t interfere with the class environment. However, you two are meant to be writing a love story and although there is often conflict in a love story, Max and Hunter have to be together for at least abriefperiod of time before you take it away from the reader. It’ll make the lack of HEA all the more painful.

So, reluctantly, we’d made them get back together.

Even though I had technically forgiven Aiden through Maxine, I was still upset over what he had said. I don’t know if my heart could survive another break, but part of me wanted to risk it with Aiden.

And given our recent falling out, I still hadn’t asked Aiden to read my litmag piece. Once he did—ifhe did—and he gave me notes, I would submit it. It wasn’t due until the end of January anyway. But I knew Aiden would tell it to me straight. He would tell me if it was horrible, and I shouldn’t even bother submitting. Or he would tell me what to fix so I had a better chance of getting accepted.

As I reread through my short story for the millionth time, my phone pinged with a message from Aiden telling me the next chapter was done. I switched tabs on my laptop and began scrolling through the chapter before straightening.

As my lips pressed against hers, I felt her shudder against me. I clutched her waist, pulling her closer to me, even though close would never be close enough. I savored the taste of her, sweet and perfect. I wanted more.

One hand slid up to her jaw, pressing at the side until she opened her mouth for me. Her tongue slid against mine, and I couldn’t hold back my low groan.

The chapter had taken Aiden’s kiss scene virginity. And it washot. He must’ve been reading those romances he bought at the Strand. He had Max on top of Hunter, running her fingers through his hair. I had to walk away from it once Hunter started whispering dirty things in Max’s ear because all I could hear was Aiden saying, “God, Rosie, you feel so good” over and over.

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