Page 56 of Not in My Book

“It’s alright, though. I’m just being dramatic.”

He tilted his head. “I could do Christmas with you.”

I took in a sharp breath. Aiden’s eyes didn’t leave mine.

“Oh, Aiden,” I said carefully. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to,” he insisted.

“No, really, it’s okay.”

“Do you not want me to?” he asked tentatively, and my heart broke into a million little pieces. I didn’t know much about Aiden. I had pieced together his father’s feelings for him quite easily, and it was obvious to see that he had spent his life neglected and unwanted by his dad. But he wouldn’t feel that way from me.

“No!” I rushed. “I’d love it if you did, but really, I couldn’t make you—”

“I want to,” he said forcefully. “Seriously. A dinner isn’t enough to repay you for what you did. My dad—” He shook his head. “You saved me.” He blew out a breath. “I spend Christmas by myself anyway. You’d really be doingmea favor.”

“I like to do touristy things,” I warned. Part of me was trying to deter him, to push him away just so I could see if he really wanted to step closer.

He nodded, his smile reaching his eyes. “I figured.”

“I want to go to Central Park and probably Macy’s—”

“Rosie.” He squeezed my hand, wrapping his fingers around mine. “You’re not going to talk me out of it. I want to.”

I bit my lip, smiling. “Okay. I’ll buy you a hot chocolate as a thank you. Obviously.”

“Really, don’t worry about it. I’m excited.”

My smile kept growing wider. “Me too. I really can’t thank you enough. At least when I tell my family I’m not going to be alone, they won’t be as worried. And they won’t think I’m sulking about Simon—”

“Simon?” he asked. “Is that the boyfriend?”

Something about the way Aiden was looking at me, his face so open, made me want to spill my guts. My gaze slid away from his. “Ex-boyfriend. We dated back home for … well,years. We broke up last fall.” He raised his eyebrow, encouraging me to continue. I sighed and ran my hand down my face. “I was a little doe-eyed as a kid.”

“You? No way.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

I tossed my napkin at him. “Shut up. Before we started dating our sophomore year of high school, I had thishugecrush on him. But I think I liked a person I created in my head, not Simon himself. And then when we started dating, I convinced myself that hewasthat person, and I wasn’t seeing it.”

“So what happened?”

I shook my head. “It took me way too long for me to realize how much of a jerk he was. I just … wanted to be loved so badly that I thought being hurt was part of the deal. He convinced me to stay in town for college, told me romance novels made my standards too high … It wasn’t until I moved here that I woke up from thisdecade long nap.” I hesitated. I hadn’t talked about this in so long. I had to blink back the tears because even though I was over Simon, I wasn’t over what he’d done to me and how he made me feel. “He told me I was destined to become an old lonely woman, surrounded by books.”

“What?” Aiden said sharply, pulling his shoulders back. His voice dropped to a deadly level.

I shrugged as if it meant nothing. As if I hadn’t wasted a near decade of my life hoping Simon would be who I wanted him to be.

“Everything sort of fell into place after we broke up. Why I couldn’t write anything romantic, why I was so unhappy, why I felt like there was something missing in my life.”

“Jesus Christ.” His eyes were narrowed, and his jaw was clenched. He was breathing slowly and barely moving his jaw.

“I think maybe he was right,” I said quietly. “I probablydoneed to lower my expectations.”

Aiden immediately shook his head. “No, Rosie. You don’t have to lower your expectations. You deserve more than your highest one. Any guy you’re with should be falling over himself to make you happy.”

I tried not read into his words, but I could feel my mind shifting. I’d once thought that Aiden was the antithetical romance hero. But maybe I was the antithetical heroine. I was argumentative and stubborn, but Aiden didn’t seem to mind anymore.

“Weak guys like that are just intimidated by strong women,” Aiden continued, each word a sharp cut into the air. “You shouldn’t have to beg someone for the bare minimum. He got too comfortable being with someone as wonderful as you and took you for granted.” He hung his head. “Rosie, I’m sorry. I never would’ve said that stuff about romance novels—”

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