Page 195 of Crucible

Huffing, he starts walking again, so I run to cut him off. Seth swears as he stops in his tracks. “Sunshine—”

I launch myself at him and throw my arms around his neck. When his hands automatically find my lower back, I feel tears rise up, and for the first time, I think they might actually fall.

“Seth…don’t do this. Please. Don’t leave me with this worry and no answers. It’s cruel, and that’s not you. Talk to me. Let me help you.”

It’s just a nosebleed, so I’m probably overreacting, but Seth’s determination to hide and lie about it tells me I’m not.

He sighs, and I feel him shake his head, not in rejection of my plea, but as if he thinks he’s failed me somehow. “I didn’t want you to worry, Sunshine.”

“Well, it’s too late for that!” I cry a little hysterically.

I feel his hand caressing my back soothingly. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

“How can I believe you when you’re keeping secrets from me?”

Seth skims his lips over my forehead and, likely realizing I won’t let it go, says, “My nose is bleeding because of Zeke.”

“Zeke?” I echo. Lifting my head from his shoulder to see his face, I search Seth’s gaze. “Why would he do this to himself? And to you?”

“Because he wants to wake up, and I…” Seth clams up again.

My racing mind fills in the blanks. “You’ve been holding him back.” I stagger back a step when he nods. “Seth, why? If this is hurting you—”

“Because I’m selfish,” he answers, releasing a shuddering breath as he nuzzles my face. “And because I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”

“You think he’ll hurt me?” Seth shakes his head and again leaves me to fill in the blanks. When I do, the knot in my stomach tightens even more. “You think Thorin and Khalil will.” He shrugs, which means yes. “Seth, that’s not fair. Thorin and Khalil said they’ll talk to Zeke. It will take some time, but they swear Zeke will come around—”

“He won’t,” Seth says with a finality that makes my heart fall into my stomach.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Other than the obvious?” he says with uncharacteristic sarcasm. The obvious being that Seth literally lives inside Zeke’shead. Who better to know the man than his alternate persona? “I’m sure because Ezekiel fell in love once. Did I tell you that?”

“What? No. No, you haven’t.”

“There was this girl at Isaac’s compound. Tatum Brantford. Before shit got bad and Zeke still believed he was there to get to know his older brother, he met her. She was the daughter of one of Isaac’s most devout followers. After Zeke fell in love with her, Tatum’s father was appointed Isaac’s secretary, and her family reaped the rewards of his newly elevated position.”

“Just because they fell in love?”

“Because Tatum’s the reason Zeke stayed. Isaac couldn’t just kill Zeke. It had to be a sacrifice. Zeke had to die by his own hand, or the ritual to make Isaac “immortal” would never work.”

“You mean Isaac was conning people into killing themselves?”

“It’s much easier if the sacrifices are already suicidal, but Zeke wasn’t, and Isaac knew that. He needed time to break Zeke.”

“And when brainwashing didn’t work, the maniac turned to torture,” I guess.

Seth nods, and his eyes become hollow and haunted as the memories resurface. “When Zeke’s instincts were telling him to run, when people went missing, and he began to suspect the Seeds of the Undying and his brother were responsible, Zeke stayed for Tatum. She told him she couldn’t leave her family, and he stayed because he loved her.”

“She honey potted him?”

“Yes.” Sadness for a man I’d technically never met clings to my heart as I wait for Seth to deliver the final blow. I know it’s coming, and he doesn’t keep me waiting for long. “Tatum made Zeke fall for her and then used his love to hurt him. So no, Sunshine. Zeke won’t ever come around because he won’t trust you. I was the one awake when Thorin and Khalil found him. Isaw their guilt and felt their rage, and those feelings never really left them, so I can tell you with absolute certainty that there is nothing on this earth—not even you—that will make Thorin and Khalil abandon their brother a second time.”

Seth kisses my forehead and walks away. He leaves me standing alone while this new life I’d stolen for myself slowly crumbles around me.

AURELIA

Seth is back to normal in no time—as if the nosebleed and what he told me yesterday had never happened.

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