Page 73 of In the Grey of Dawn

L I L A

My glass falls to the ground, the bourbon spraying my legs as it shatters and the man doesn't move.

He doesn't even flinch.

He stays still, his head looking down, his hat covering his face. I step forward, pressed against the bar, barely managing to breathe.

Bringing my hand in front of me I tentatively reach out. The edge of his hat just skimming my fingertips. Looking down, I check his hands again. The all familiar LILA tattooed across his knuckles.

Tentatively, I pull the hat up. An intimate moment surrounded in a sea of chaos, but I can't hear any of it, we're alone. Two people lost in the world having found their way back to one another.

Porter.

Pasha.

His hat falls to the floor and I'm met with the same dark eyes I fell in love with. Watching me as I take him in.

Keep breathing.

My hand drops to the bar top, carelessly falling into his. He's so warm. Gods, he’s so warm.How is this real?

“You died?” I croak out, tears streaming down my face. I don't understand what is happening. How can he be here if he died?How can he be here if I'm alone, I lost my person, I'm alone now ...right?

He stands, his movements stiff and uneven. His body not quite working how he needs it to. As he rounds the bar I see his slow intentional steps. One hand holding the bench top, the other holding a cane.

How is this even possible?He was so broken.

Standing his full height before me, he lifts his fingers to my chin, tilting my head up to look at him before moving his hand to my neck. His fingers squeezing just a little bit harder than normal, my pulse beating firmly underneath them. I close my eyes, cementing every second of this moment to memory. The stubble of his beard grazes my cheek and I can't help but gasp at the sensation of an almost kiss as I feel his lips against my ear.

“Not even the Devil herself could keep me from you,moye spaseniye.[14]”

His voice has the same familiar gravel to each word. A voice I thought I would never hear again.

“I would climb from the pits of Hell to come back to you, Charlie. Every day you surround me is another day worth living, worth fighting for you,for us. I will never give up on everything we can have together. You are my past and my future, and I need … I need,I needyou to know that I love you.”

Grabbing onto his top, I have to be closer to him. Desperate to have him with me always. Resting my head to his chest, I bury my face into his warmth. Crying about everything it took to get to this point.

“Why did you leave me,” I sob. The words muffled over how tightly I’m holding onto him.

“Why didn't you come back to me straight away.” I'm so lost in my anger and relief that I don't even notice how I've been beating against his chest. My closed fists thump over and over until his strong arms wrap around me, caressing my head as he lets me cry. The soft whispers ofI’m sorry, I thought I was doing the right thingrepeating over in between a trail of kisses he leaves across my head.

Pulling away from me, my eyes open to his face only inches from mine, the light of the room catching the shine of his eyes. “I love you, Charlie. I think a part of me has loved you from that first night in the basement. But my whole heart loves you now, just as a part of me will always love Lila. I love you.I love you.Ya tebya lyublyu[15]. Whatever you want to do in this life just know that I will be by your side living each amazing moment with you. Good, bad, it doesn't matter. I love you,forever.”

His eyes search my face as the music continues to blare and not one person has noticed. This moment in time felt by only the two of us and I know without a doubt I will never give this man up.

“I love you too Pasha … forever”

Chapter 46 - Epilogue

Rescue - Lauren Daigle?

Porter

It was a funny thing waking up in the hospital in the middle of the night, well, 3.33 a.m. according to the clock on the wall. I first realised I was awake when I heard the low beeps and whirs of the different machines I was attached to. I had been in this position before, so when the clean smell of disinfectant flooded my nose, it was another puzzle piece falling into place.

My eyes slowly cracked open. I never thought about eyelids feeling heavy until that moment but it was a bit like riding a bike. Once I started blinking they remembered what to do and muscle memory kicked in. Gazing around the empty room I could see the glow of the city behind the blinds, the slight rise in the beep of the machine monitoring my heart and then there was nothing.

The room was dark.

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