Page 61 of In the Grey of Dawn

Say Something - A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera ? *Continued

*Night two without Porter

Looking out the window of Mila and Dantes's spare room I feel like I'm losing him and I don't know how to stop it. The sound of the door creaking open isn't enough to turn my focus as Mila's arms wrap around me, her firm belly pressing into my side.

“He doesn't want me ... I wasn't enough for him.”

My voice breaks as I hug her back, the sadness of the last day creeping in.

“Ace said the bar was shut again last night when he drove to Novas. Maybe he's just taking more time,” she says optimistically.

The sudden ring of my phone causes us to pull away as I scramble to see if it's him calling.

“He doesn't like to message, it's got to … oh … it's Dimi.”

“Porter might have talked with him. Answer it,” she encourages.

“Or he could be telling me it's over between us. Using his brother to deliver the news.”

Taking a deep breath, I answer his call.

“Hey?” I state cautiously. Not quite sure if I'm going to be greeted with devastation or happiness.

“What's happened? Is my brother being a dick to you? I'll kill him if he's hurt you,” he spits.

His words are blunt and direct, his breathing heavy on the other end of the line. I'm still not convinced he’s not calling to tell me it's over. I thought I meant more to him than that but I'm starting to wonder if I ever knew him at all. That the reason he's staying away is because he regrets telling me his secrets.

That he regretsus.

“Oh ... Um … So you haven't spoken with him?” I ask, as Mila presses her face next to mine trying to hear what's being said.

“No. Charlie. What's happened? Your voice ... I know you, remember.”

“Nothing, it's nothing. He told me about Lila and he's taking some space. He just needs a minute is all,” I say, still trying to convince myself that nothing is wrong.

“Give me twelve hours and I'll be there, I just need to move some things around. I swear if he's done something—”

“We’re just having a break, Dimi. It's fine. I'm fine,” I say, frustrated that he's pushing the topic as I try to keep the emotion out of my voice but doing a piss poor job at it.

“Twelve hours Charlie. Just wait for me to get there.”

The harsh sound of the dial tone letting me know he’s ended the call. Leaving me just as lost as I was only moments earlier.

Chapter 37 - Charlie

Say Something - A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera ? *Continued

Three nights without Porter. Three nights whereevery nighthas meant nothing. I should have seen it coming, how he was pulling away from me. Leaving me before either of us had time to register.

But why would he tell me about her only to leave?

It makes no sense why he would just ghost me like this after everything. How he was on the roof that day was like his grief finally spilled over. That he couldn't keep it inside any longer.

“The bar is still closed,” Dante grumbles at me as he sips his first cup of coffee for the day. “Lights are out. Not sure if he's still there or if he's disappeared but Ace and I will head over to check later today.”

“No, please don't. If he's left then I just need to let him go. I don't want to make it harder for anyone. None of this is going how I thought it would. It was more than just a fling, you know … but maybe, maybe he’s just struggling to find the room to love me and her.”

A single tear slips down my cheek as I stare out to the dawn. Wondering if he’s looking at it too.

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