Page 53 of Protecting Mr. Fine

“But you’re my protectee. And that makes this complicated,” Bear said softly. He caressed my back with one large hand. “I’ll try to explain, if you’ll let me.”

Still not quite able to believe I was allowed to do it, I ran my hands around his waist to his back, reveling in the feel of his hard muscles under my fingers. “Why didn’t I know you liked men? You never said anything.”

“I promise, I’ll answer all your questions. But first…” He moved his hand to the side of my face, sliding his fingers into my hair despite the hair tie keeping it piled on top of my head. Then he leaned down to kiss me. It was soft and precious, gentle and sweet. For someone who resembled a grumpy bear half the time, Ryan Galloway was heart-achingly tender with me. Always had been.

I bit my lip to keep from asking even more questions. For the past twenty-four hours, I’d been brimming with them, but I’d concluded Bear’s sex life was none of my business. Things were different now—he was rubbing his business all over my business—but I still didn’t want to pressure him. He didn’t owe me details.

Bear reached for the soap and began to rub it all over me as if washing me was something normal and expected. For the record, it wasn’t. I wasn’t sure anyone had washed anything other than my face in thirty years.

He finished washing and rinsing himself off before reaching for the towels.

As we stepped out of the shower to dry off, my mind spun while I considered what I truly wanted to know. How invasive could my questions be? Would he be offended if I was too curious?

After drying off, I found a clean pair of pajama pants while Bear pulled his sweatpants back on. Then, he led me to the bed and nudged me onto it until we lay side by side, facing each other with the duvet draped over us.

The sky outside was pitch-black, and the house was quiet. Bear reached for the elastic band in my hair, offering me a sheepish raised eyebrow as if seeking permission.

I nodded and helped him pull it out. As soon as my hair was down, he began playing with it. And like he’d turned a key in a lock, all of my questions came bubbling out.

“So… is your sexuality a secret? Because of Ventdestine? Or your family?”

“Not my family. They’d probably be fine with it,” he said softly. “I figured I’d tell them when I had someone to introduce them to. I’ve never said anything one way or the other, so maybe they know. I don’t shy away from commenting that certain men are attractive.”

This was true. I remembered him agreeing once when Micki had mentioned how attractive Omar Rudberg was.“I’ve met him,”he’d said.“He’s as nice as he is good-looking.”

I hadn’t thought much of it at the time. TheYoung Royalsactor was objectively pretty. You didn’t have to be into men to think so. But now, I rifled back through my memories as if searching for corroborating evidence.

There was that whole Daniel Craig thing back in Barlo, which took on a whole new meaning in light of recent evidence. And that made me remember my conversation with Landry the other night.

“Were you out in Ventdestine?”

Bear didn’t answer right away.

“I’m sorry. Tell me if I’m being too nosy,” I said quickly. “It’s just… I really thought you were straight. There was a story online that you dated a woman on the same security team in Ventdestine?—”

“You’re not nosy. I’m just not used to being open about it.” He made a face. “The story about the woman was something the PR office did. There was a rumor that a guard had been spottedat a gay club while on holiday in London, so the royal PR office arranged for all of the high-profile male guards to be seen around town with women. Andno, to answer your other question, I was not out in Ventdestine. I couldn’t be. It’s illegal there.”

“Who was the guy? The guard, I mean. What happened to him?”

“It blew over. Those rumors were always happening since actual gay people exist, and guys in the guard were probably actually fucking while on leave… and at any other time, for that matter.” Bear sighed.

I felt a sliver of discomfort at the idea of Bear fucking someone while on leave… or ever. “Did you ever hook up with him?”

Bear found my hand and twined his fingers through mine. “I told you, it’s illegal in Ventdestine.”

“No, I know, but… surely people still do it.”

“Surely they do. ButIdidn’t.”

“You didn’t? Like… ever? I mean, if you were both in the guards, the stakes would have been just as high for him as you. Seems ideal for keeping it secret.”

Bear squeezed my hand. “When Asger Salling offered me the job to come to Ventdestine, I knew what I was getting into. I knew I was sacrificing my personal life for professional gain. It was an honor to be asked, to be recognized for saving him, and I was proud of it. And even if he claimed the winds of fortune had commanded it, I also knew his choice to elevate a foreigner to his personal guard earned Asger a lot of side-eye, at least until I proved myself. I understood that I’d been given an opportunity, and I didn’t want to fuck it up.”

Bear paused again, so I moved a little closer and kissed him softly. He smiled against my lips. “This isn’t helping me tell the story,” he murmured. I kissed him through it.

Finally, Bear pulled back. And he was no longer smiling. “So I took the oath. And then proceeded to spend twelve years upholding it.”

I tried to figure out what that meant. “You… didn’t hook up with anyone fortwelveyears?”

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