Page 47 of Protecting Mr. Fine

The kiss had been bad enough, but not letting it lie after he’d clearly wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened?Worse. Way worse.

“That is absolutely none of my business and highly inappropriate. I beg your pardon.” I stood up quickly and reached for the dishes. I would clean up our dinner mess and disappear into my room to givehim the privacy he probably craved. At least I hadn’t made such a grievous mistake in front of others.

How could I have been so stupid? Should I offer my resignation now or wait until the morning? Should I tell him or tell Violet first? Was I even strong enough to bring myself to do it when it would mean leaving him more vulnerable?

No. Definitely not. Then maybe I needed to?—

Zane’s long fingers closed around my wrist, directly over my hammering pulse. “Stop, Bear. Sit down.”

I looked over at him without fully turning to face him. “I’m sorry,” I said again softly. “Zane?—”

“Ryan. Will you stop acting like you just stabbed me by accident? Sit back down.”

The sound of my real name on his lips caught my attention as it usually did. I slowly lowered myself back into my seat next to him at the table, and once he knew I wasn’t going to bolt, he let go of me.

The air outside had gotten cold enough later in the day to justify turning on the gas fireplace, and full darkness had descended a while ago, leaving us feeling isolated and hunkered down.

I clasped my hands together in my lap and focused on them.

After an awkward moment, Zane spoke. “I’m actually glad you finally said something. I knew you heard me talking about it the other night, and I was so embarrassed.”

I glanced up. “Embarrassed? Why?”

His own cheeks were pink, but there was no way he was as mortified as I was.

“Because I’m a thirty-three-year-old virgin? Is there even such a thing? I know I’m not supposed to care about virginity because it’s a social construct… but tell that to every other man on Earth, will you?”

I took a deep breath. “Don’t ever feel pressured to do something you don’t want to do because of what other people think?—”

“Idowant to do it!” Zane snapped, throwing his arms up. “That’s the problem. I want to do it badly. Very,verybadly. But I…” He blew out a noisy breath. “I’m so twisted up about it now I’d only embarrass myself. And what if Noelle was right? What if the first time I have sex, someone captures it on film, and everyone sees me come in one point five seconds?”

My body thrummed with a toxic mix of embarrassment, secondhand embarrassment, greed, and lust.

So. Much. Lust.

“Don’t do it with someone you can’t trust.” As much as I wanted to encourage him to stop worrying and just do it, I couldn’t help but give him at least that one warning. He was mine to protect, and I’d be damned if I was going to let him get taken advantage of.

Zane glanced up at me and then looked back down at where he was running his thumbnail over a callus on the inside edge of his ring finger. Those guitar-player hands never failed to make my heart skip a beat. I wanted them on me, always. “That makes for a very short list.”

“The brotherhood?” I suggested, even though my gut roiled at the idea.

He grimaced. “Ew. I call them my brothers for a reason, Bear. Besides, the only one who’s single is Landry, and if he’s not hate-fucking Kenji, he’s at least thinking about it.”

I reached out and grabbed his hand to stop his fiddling. “Zane.”

Honey-brown eyes peeked at me through his eyelashes. “You probably think I’m the world’s biggest loser.”

“Fuck no. I was proud of you confessing your truth in front of that kid the other night when it clearly made you uncomfortable around your cousins.”

“I didn’t want him to think all rock stars are out there sleeping with tons of people.”

I let go of his hand but turned more fully to face him, nudging his chair back so I could see him better. “Second of all,” I continued carefully, “any man would be lucky to be with you.”

Including me, I added in my head, but the air between us immediately began buzzing like I’d spoken the words out loud.

Zane twisted his lips and took a breath. “Anyman?”

“Hell yes. Every man,” I insisted, not fully realizing the road I was going down.

---