Page 63 of Dissension

He’s enjoying this, she finds herself thinking with a distant sort of horror.

Ice fills her veins as she tries to piece it all together. Something is missing. “…but, the judge had an accident, why would Nick’s mother blame him-”

His head tilts slightly. “Did she though?”

Her mind races, twisting over everything that isn’t being said. “Dieter-”

When his eyes shift over to her, there’s a brief flash of a terrifying emptiness, a sea of darkness, empty of a soul. Empty of morality and anything remotely holy. Rarely has she seen him look this way. When she blinks, the impression is gone, as if it never was. He’s grinning sweetly now, pleasant. “I’m just playing with you, chickadee. Don’t look so scared shitless. Thatold bitch died in a tragic accident; she should have checked her tack before riding out.”

Kara’s mouth goes dry and she stares at him, feeling a strange tremble come to her fingers.

She doesn’t know what to think.

An eerie voice that sounds like her own mother whispers venom in her mind.Like mother, like son.

Chapter 23

It haunts her for days, this awful knowledge that Dieter has spewed upon her. Parts of her wonder if he’s lying, just pulling her chain to make her all twisted up about it, frazzled and unsettled. Another of his games.

The other part of her desperately hopes he’s lying, because the very thought of itbeing truemakes her feel ill inside.

How could someone do that to their own son, all for power and influence?How?

This doesn’t even account for the dark insinuation Dieter made about the Judge and her accident.He’s fucking with you, that’s what he likes to do,Kara tells herself. Of course, he is; he must know what people whisper about his mother. He knows it adds to his aura of danger.

The only way she’ll know once and for all is to ask the very person it all concerns; Nicholas Havenwood-Calais, son of the absolutely foul Delphine, if the tale is to be believed.

“Well, there’s no use tormenting yourself,” Kara mutters as she paces back and forth in her apartment, trying to build up the courage to put the final nail in this coffin of information. “Just confront him about it.”

Yeah, how is that going to go over, idiot?

She acknowledges that it’s going to be bad no matter what. Never has Nick ever wanted to talk about his personal life, aside from what Kara already gleaned. He never spoke about his family. Now she understandswhy.

The same reason she never speaks about her father and mother to just about anyone. Because her story is ugly and unlovely and people don’t want to hear those sorts of brokenstories. No one but a psychologist does…and that’s because they’re paid to.

Nerves on edge, Kara dials his number.

“I need to talk to you,” Kara says into the mouthpiece of her cellphone, anxiously rubbing the back of her neck.

“Seeking more professional knowledge?” Nick sounds vaguely amused. “I ought to start billing you for my time,associate.”

Oh please. “Last we met,youasked to meetme. Shall I send you the cost for my time?”

He makes a sarcastic scoff. “That ought to go well. Let’s meet up and charge each other for our hourly rates for the hell of it. A meeting between lawyers, but make it sleazy and expensive.Well. I’m expensive. You? Not quite.”

Rolling her eyes, Kara says, “Look, this isn’t work-related, smartass.” Kara tries to sound confident, not wanting to tip him off to anything unusual. She tries a different angle, more shocking. “I just want to see you.”

For a moment, there’s no response. Then, inhaling sharply, he takes the bait. “Come over then.” With a certain ease, he invites her back to his place, where she hasn’t been since they were last together. Inthatway. “You remember where I live, Kara.”

Yes, she does. The memory is bittersweet.

She knocks on the door, stomach churning, feeling uneasy. This isn’t a conversation she wants to have with him, but she can’t keep it to herself anymore. She wants to talk with him, understand him, and be there for him. She wants to understand if this is why he is the way he is, if it’s all because some part of hislife got broken, just how her life hit road bumps and fists along the way to adulthood.

Kara imagines he’s the sort of man who would never seek help for whatever anguish and trauma got foisted upon him. He probably locked it all up, filled with anger and self-loathing. He turned his pain outward.

He turned his loathing against other women.

A female voice calls through the shut door, “It’s open!”

---