Page 33 of Dissension

“Dieter…” she whispers, her hands falling into her lap. He never listens to reason. She’s not like Gale; she can’t effortlessly corral him where she wants him. He doesn’tlether.

He doesn’t respect you enough,her mother laughs in her mind, voice and eyes smoky with bitter mirth.

Dieter ignores her pleading tone, checking his watch absently.

“Tell me this won’t happen again,” Kara says, trying to make him see reason. “I don’t know how to say no to you-”

“That’s a lie. You say no to me all the time when you don’t like what I’m doing.” He quips dryly, no longer sounding amused. He pins her with a stare that nearly drains all her confidence away. “What are you so afraid of?”

I’m afraid of losing control. I’m afraid of getting hurt again. And again. The words die on her tongue because she’s too much of a coward to speak them aloud.

“Nothing,” she tells him instead of revealing what’s really in her heart. “I just don’t want it being said that I slept my way into this position.”

Coyly, he sips his coffee, finishing with his food. “And this is something they don’talreadysay?”

Kara swallows thickly, hating that he’s right.

He doesn’t stay much longer, having already called his private driver to come collect him.

At the door, he leans close to her and winks, his breath ghosting over her lips. “See ya, chickadee.”

Kara loathes the way her heart skips a beat, the way her stomach goes heavy as lead. She fights down the urge to look at his mouth, fights the urge to not grab him and stop him from walking out the door, leaving heralone-

With him gone, it feels like her heart can finally stop racing. Kara stares blankly at the door, where he just stood. There and gone. She bites her lower lip hard, hard enough tofeelsomething other than want for a man she has no business wanting.

She digs her fingernails into the palm of her hands, chasing the pain.

“He’s the worst. I hate him.” She says it out loud, as if that will make the statement a reality.

Her phone beeps in the other room.

When she gets around to checking it, after a good shower where she doesnottouch herself, thinking of his mouth between her thighs, she sees a message from the unnamed number.

Her heart flips and twists, unsure of how to feel.

Nick has messaged her about their lunch meeting. A part of her cannot believe he still wants to see her after what she let happen last night.

With shaking hands, Kara types back,I’ll see you at noon.

The sun is pleasant and the city is calm today. Or as calm as the city can be, what with the territorial red-winged black birds dive bombing random passerbys, the homeless holding out their hands for coin, and the typical people milling up and down the streets, living their lives. Kara dressed in a manner that she hopes speaks to the fact that she’s not looking to impress Nick; she definitely isn’t. The point is, she still wants to manage to look effortlessly chic.

Effortless isn’t really her thing though; that’s more of a Dieter trait.

With her black capris and flowy pale blouse, Kara strolls into the pleasant little garden restaurant located around the next corner, close to the bustling shopping district. The aroma of the city mixes with greenery and flowers, filling her senses with something that reminds her of her childhood, living a more rural style life.

It doesn’t take her long to find him waiting for her. Nicholas Havenwood-Calais is already seated by a fancy little decorative wooden trellis fence with ivy growing wild on it. His tropical blue eyes trail over her as she slowly sits down across from him. His glance is heavy, a touch that she can almost feel right into her dreams at night.

His touch. Like the kiss of a razorblade on her skin. Like the draw of being unable to stop watching an accident as it’s happening. The violence and the bloody passion that Karashouldn’twant.

Taking a deep breath, trying to embody confidence, she sits down across from him. She takes a moment to look around her at the uniquely styled boutique restaurant, at all the gorgeous arrangements of botanical life. She doesn’t know where to start with him, so she blurts, “I’ve never been here before. I’ve seen it. But…never…it’s gorgeous here.” Wow, real smart opener, Kara.Swell.

“You look good,” he says instead of replying to her nervous word vomit. His stone-cut face is parked in neutral. He gives nothing away, but the compliment feels genuine enough. He’s a good liar though…

Kara looks down at the table briefly, unsure of where to look. “Thank you.” She tries not to fidget in her lap. She refuses to tell him that he always looks good, so she changes the subject.“It’s been a while since we’ve actually seen each other. Like this. Talked-”

-fucked. Been some time since we last played our dark games. Since the last time I pretended I didn’t want it just to get you off.

“Can you look at me when you speak to me?” His tone is strained.

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