Page 89 of The Flame and the Forsaken

A pain caused by the Rutlands.

Her woes had come full circle, and it was a cruel twist of fate that her present agony was architected by her own weakness.

Mariel traced her hands along the walls. Was it there, she wondered, or there? Where had he pressed Yesenia to the rocks when he couldn’t temper his lust another moment? Where had she lifted her skirt and invited him in?

Everywhere, her heart decided. The place radiated with the birth and death of Erran’s happiness.

“Mar.” Erran’s boots screeched as he slid, wobbling for balance. “Mariel, stop. Stop and look at me.”

So he’d followed her. Of course he had, for if he hadn’t, then his obscene showing in the banquet would seem as disingenuous as it had been. The entire trip had been a rehabilitation campaign for him, and he’d won. He’d won them all over, and she shouldn’t have cared. She shouldn’t have cared a whit.

“Mariel, please. We really, really need to talk.”

Her head shook because words were too hard.

“This distance forming between us... Ihateit. I absolutely hate it, and I know... I haven’t been myself here, and I know you see it.”

Mariel keeled over a crag, unable to breathe more than stunted inhales, her exhales even more defiant. But if she said nothing, maybe he’d go away.

“What I said on the island was true. It ken it’s the truest thing I’ve ever said.”

“Then youarea professional liar, aye? You had me fooled for a while, but ah...” Mariel couldn’t hold her tongue anymore. “Is it a Rutland trait, or is that one all your own?”

“I need you to hear me.” Erran’s boots squished on the wet rocks. “You owe me this much.”

Mariel spun around, sputtering through a fit of false starts before finally saying, “Owe you? Oweyou?”

“This isn’t about my father, Mariel. It’s aboutus, about two people who couldn’t be more different, who found something in each other that they couldn’t find alone.” He looked like a sad little boy who’d had his favorite toy taken away, which seemed fitting, because that was all she’d been. His latest toy. “I don’t believe it was only true out there.”

“Why...” Mariel folded her arms around her, wishing it were enough to protect her from everything she shouldn’t be feeling. “Do you want me to tell everyone what you said in there is true? Aye, I will. I’ll lie for you if you’ll just... just leave me alone.”

“Lie... Mariel.” His pursed smile was full of sadness. “Mariel. I know you don’t believe that.”

Mariel wiped her eyes and stormed over. “You don’t have to play the fool with me, Errandil. I ken when it’s just the two of us, you can be exactly who you feckin’ are, and have been all along.”

“Stopusing my name as a weapon! It hurts me exactly as badly as you think it does.” Erran surged forward, and she stepped back an equal distance. “I shouldn’t have been so caught off guard seeing her yesterday, but there were all these eyes, this pressure of everyone expecting and maybe even hoping I’d make a fool of myself, and I froze. I’m not making excuses, only trying to help you see what might not have been obvious—and something I certainly didn’t help by not talking to you about it before we even arrived. Butnothinghas changed for me.”

“You’re still going to pretend? Even now, you can’t be honest with me. Iheardyou!”

Erran thrust his hands out to his sides with a bewildered gape. “Heard me what?”

“You and Yesenia.Here.Right feckin’ here, where I’m standing.” She slammed one boot onto the wet stone. Water splashed up around her ankle. “Likely other things as well, but I didn’t stay around to find out.”

“Me and Yesenia?” Erran took a deep breath. His hand traveled to his chin as he tilted his head upward. “If you heard us, then you’d know you’re making all the wrong assumptions here.”

“How she intimidates your craven little wife, aye? And you’ll always be extra special to each other? Those assumptions?”

Erran’s eyes closed. He went quiet, one hand traveling to his chest, sliding under his overcoat. He sighed. “I was looking foryou. She found me first, said she wanted to talk. She apologized for how things ended, and aye... Aye, I ken she will always be special to me. I shouldn’t have come here with her. I know that. But how could you... Why would you pick and choose my words to hurt yourself? Because I also told her I washappy. Withyou. And that even if she hadn’t left as she did, it wouldn’t have lasted, me and her. I believe that. Because there’s lust and then there’s...” His voice choked as he withdrew his hand from his jacket, pulling out a folded piece of vellum. “Read this.”

“I’m not—” Mariel swallowed. “Nay.”

He thrust it again. “Read it, Mariel. If anything we went through on the island meant... If it meant to you what it did to me, you’ll read this and then decide how you think I feel.”

Mariel leaned forward and snatched it from his hand, then spun back toward the sea before he could see through her tears... read more of her pain. She unfolded the paper, and the first words she read wereDearest Yesenia.“Ah. Nay, I willnot?—”

“It isn’t what you think. Read it.”

She snapped the paper in her hand, shooting him a final glare before shifting her eyes downward.

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