Page 74 of The Flame and the Forsaken

Erran knew what he wanted, but he had little time to clear his head of any remaining confusion.

If Mariel picked up on even a speck of it, the door they’d opened on the island would close, and he was not confident it could be reopened.

Chapter16

Warwicktown

Erran spent the entire ride to Warwicktown searching for the right words to reassure Mariel, but every potential explanation introduced an additional complication instead.

She’s married, I’m marriedcould just as easily beif neither of us were married, nothing would stand in our way.

That was a long time agowas a copout, and anyway it was untrue. It wasn’t so long ago. Sometimes that part of his life felt so recent he could reach out and touch it.

I’m with you nowhad a similar pathetic ring, as though she were the consolation prize in the whole sordid game of marriages. Somehow,she never let me get so close, never opened herself up the way you havesounded more like he wished the opposite had been true and Mariel was filling a mere gap instead of the whole hole she’d sealed.

The need for reassurance at all signified there was a problem, and that wasn’t the feeling he wanted to leave her with when she was already going to feel out of her depth.

Even a simpleyou have nothing to worry aboutfelt wrong, because what if he’d been misreading Mariel all along, and she actuallydidn’tcare about Yesenia?

Or about him?

His qualms about saying the wrong thing made it hard to say anything at all. He wanted to explain to her what to expect in Warwicktown, so she didn’t feel like a fish out of water. He wanted to tell her the capital was a rougher, more merchant class town than Whitecliffe, dangerous and thrilling, but he had no idea if she’d been there. Asking felt like a way of revealing his impression she hadn’t traveled much, which if wrong was insulting, if right might come across as condescending.

In the end, his overthinking kept him from saying much at all beyond remarking on the changing landscape as they traveled farther and farther west, into the more arid terrain of the Golden Coast.

“And what wouldyouknow about it?” Sessaly flipped open her fan and rolled her eyes, looking out the carriage window.

“About billiards? You’re askingme, a man of ill repute, what I would know about gambling?” Destin sputtered, aghast. They’d been at each other for hours, and if Erran didn’t know better, he’d suspect they were flirting.

“I don’t even believe such places exist,” Sessaly said flippantly.

“Speculation taverns? You’re serious?” Destin snorted, turning toward Mariel. “Did you know there were people so sheltered as this?” He leaned closer when she didn’t answer. “Mar?”

“Sorry. Aye, I ken you could say the same of us,” she said, staring out the tiny window. “For what do we really know of the world of highborns?”

Erran, who hadn’t been interested in the banter between their siblings until that point, broke his silence to fix the separation she’d chosen in her words. “You fit perfectly into our world,” he said, giving her knee a squeeze.

Sessaly gagged. He shut her down with a look.

Mariel’s smile was tepid... practiced. “No one fits perfectly into a world they aren’t born into.”

“I have to agree with our sister,” Sessaly said. “The inanity of such an idea. But just because I agree with her, Destin, does nay mean I don’t think you’re putting us on.”

“Then it’s good I put no stock in what you think of my ethics.”

“Ethics? Have you any?”

“How’s your betrothed these days, Ses?” Erran asked. “Do you remember him? Aliksander, I believe his name was?”

Sessaly flushed. “I wouldn’t know, seeing how busy the Laws were these past weeks helping Father locate your wayward self.” She nodded in apology at Mariel. “I’m of course gratefulyouare home.”

Mariel concealed a grin with a glance to the side, but the sight of amusement on her face cooled Erran’s concerns some. “Of course.”

“I hadhopedto see him at Esmerelda’s blessing, but…” Sessaly finished with a knowing look.

Erran shook his head tightly in warning, but Mariel had picked up on it. “But what?” she asked.

“Erran didn’t tell you?” Sessaly laughed with her mouth wide. “Oh, my brother. He does like his secrets, always has.”

---