Page 7 of The Flame and the Forsaken

“You think me cold and unfeeling, but how I wish I’d had a woman in my life to counsel me when I married Rylahn. Might have saved myself years of heartache.” She smiled sadly. “He’s a good man. They both are. If you had to give up a love of your own in this venture, remember that Erran did too.”

“There was no other love.” Her mind spun with how quick-footed Hestia was, and how unprepared Mariel had been for it. Erran’s foolishness about Yesenia in Warwicktown had actually been a blessing, for it had given Mariel the opportunity to play the wronged wife, which was a fair cover for her disgust of him. But Hestia was telling her she saw past the act, for what it was. Guardians help them all if she ever learned why. “It’s more complicated than that.”

“You think I don’t know we stand on ground that once belonged to your family? Or how it came to belong to ours?”

Mariel held her breath. She hadn’t expected any of them to address it so boldly.

“Expecting equity in this life is a path to great unhappiness, Mariel. This system was here for thousands of years before us, and it will outlive every last one of our descendants. Lamenting the unfairness of life is like spitting into the air to assuage a drought. You are not entitled to the disappointment that follows.” Hestia swept a hand along Mariel’s brow, brushing stray hair back. “You’re prettier than her, you know. Yesenia. There’s a warmth in you that was always lacking in her. When his heart settles, he’ll see it. He’ll see he’s lost nothing really, nothing that couldn’t be gained another way.” She drew herself straight. “But we cannot wait for a man to come to his senses. Erran has always understood duty and will do his, if you show him you are willing.”

Not for one second did Mariel believe Hestia would ever be someone she could show her heart to, but it was harder that the woman was, in her way, being kind. She was trying to help Mariel see the future didn’t have to be filled with despair. But Hestia was a product of the system she spoke of, shaped and molded over the years to accept the unacceptable. Mariel could never, ever let that happen to herself. “I understand what’s expected of me.”

“And perhaps, should the bedchamber whispers grow warmer, I may be able to persuade my husband to return this property to the Ashdowns. To your brother, who is now the head of your family line. The last Ashdown male.”

Mariel missed a step, her boot catching in a tangle of morning glories. She glanced over and found the stewardess watching her like a hawk. In all her dreams and goals as the Flame of the Obsidian Sky, Mariel hadn’t considered her ancestral lands could ever be theirs again. She’d given up on that fantasy, focusing instead on how to keep such a loss from happening to others. If she were to put her own needs first, hers and Destin’s, there was nothing more important than the Ashdown land coming home. It was all they had left of themselves.

But this isn’t about me, or Destin. If I ever forget that, I will have regained my heart at the expense of my soul.

“Consider my words,” Hestia said with a patient smile. “But not for too long, pet. The future of this house rests upon your shoulders, and you’ll find others will not be as understanding as I am should this ice not thaw.”

Hestia’s retinuewas parked at the entrance to the lake road that would take her southwest to Port Worthing. Erran waited for her there, watching for signs of her vibrant attire through gaps in the forest.

“Darling.” Hestia appeared suddenly from the side and swept the air by his cheeks with phantom kisses. “Thank you for seeing me off.” She looked past him, through the forest that covered any view of the quiet lake. It was so unlike the ambers and ochers of the Golden Coast that he could believe it was another world altogether. “Itislovely out here.”

Erran recalled what Mariel had said that morning, about the land being stolen, but his mother had made it clear questions should be directed to his father. “How long will you be in Port Worthing?”

“A night. Two at most.” Hestia brushed her hands down his arms with a fussy sigh. “You must win her over, Erran. The way things are now are not sustainable. Your father is worried, and I’d say he has good reason to be.”

Erran shifted his gaze to the ground, shaking his head. “Iamtrying. Mariel is... She’s challenging. But I’d never force myself upon her.”

Hestia looked almost stricken. “Of course not. No one would suggest that.”

“All I’m asking for is some patience and understanding.”

Her smile was placating. “Love, actions have consequences. Throwing yourself at Yesenia like an undomesticated lapdog was unwise, and her rejecting you, while prudent on her part, turned a mild scandal into a public humiliation. Rutland men do not grovel. At least not outside the privacy of their bedchamber.” Her arms lowered back to her sides. “You have the Rutland charm and more than your share of the good looks. I advise you to use them.”

He pressed his lips tight to keep himself from saying that Mariel was immune to any so-called charm he might possess, because it would only make matters worse. His mother had no interest in excuses or explanations. Her sage advice had once been a central part of his life, but as he’d aged into adulthood, she’d started turning his questions around on him. AskingWhat do you think I should do?only garnered aWhat doyouthink you should do?

“You should know,” she said carefully, “your father will announce his retirement soon. His leg has gotten so much worse while you were away, and he worries it’s starting to erode his esteem amongst the men in his fleet. I’m going to tell you what he will not, because he wants you to figure all of this out yourself and not be pressured by the prospect of avoiding punishment. The admiralty should be yours, Erran. It’s your birthright. But he worries the men won’t respect your leadership after all that’s happened. You know what they’ve been calling you, the forsaken heir. He’s been quietly preparing Aliksander Law as a potential replacement for you, should you not... sort the matters of your house.” She leaned in close. “We cannot let that happen, love. Aliksander will be a part of this family soon, but he is aLaw, not a Rutland, and his and Sessaly’s son will be a Law. I say again, it is yourbirthright.Your future son’s birthright. If your private matters are not soon resolved, you will lose everything and gain nothing for it.”

Erran’s blood rushed away from his face. His father had made plenty of insinuations but had never come out and said the admiralty could ever go to someone else. It was a Rutland operation—a Rutland legacy, built over the past two centuries. Not only had he been waiting his whole life for the honor but he’d been actively training for it since he had been six years of age. He’d spent years at sea. There was nowhere else he felt more like himself. More whole. Without the admiralty, he had nothing else to drive him. Nothing else to sustain him.

Not even Yesenia had meant as much to him.

“How do I fix it? She’s... She’s still sore about what happened with Yesenia, which was nothing except humiliation on my part. I’ve been naught but kind, no matter how cross she is.” His voice cracked, a weakness his father would have criticized and his mother would likely reprove. Asking at all was missing her point, that he needed to resolve his own trouble, for if he could not, how could he ever lead a fleet of forty-seven ships? Eight thousand men?

But she surprised him when she brought a hand to his cheek with a tender cupping. “My darling, Mariel is hurting. She has lost so much, and her grief prevents her from seeing what she’s gained. It’s not enough to be kind... I sense she is isolated and feeling as though nothing at all is familiar to her. And then you disgrace her reputation and yours? Of course she’s sore. If her own husband does not see this, does not care, then one cannot really blame her for being cross, can they?”

Erran lowered his gaze back to the ground. He thought again of Mariel’s bizarre claim the loch had once been her family’s. Of all he didn’t know about her. “You’re wrong if you think she could love me.”Or that I could love her.

“And what, my dear, does love have to do with marriage?” Her mouth pulled into an impudent grin.

He couldn’t help rolling his eyes. “You and Father aren’t the best example, if you want to make that point.”

“Love came after the children, after our duty was behind us and we were free to consider our own needs.” Hestia reached for her carriage door. “I must go now, or we’ll have to stop somewhere else for the night. You’ll find your way, Erran, because you must. But your first obstacle is accepting that marriage is a business transaction, not an arrangement for chivalrous romantics like yourself. Consider what Mariel mostwants, whatgainwould be worth the sacrifice of her pride, and you may find the answer is closer than you realize. You don’t need her to love you, or to love her in return. If that is your aim, you will fall woefully short.”

Chapter2

Thawing the Ice

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