Valerian cringed at the visuals this produced, but her revelation disturbed him more. She’d been repeating the line about a childfree life since the Nok Mora, but so did most Vjestik, and yet still they had families. It wasn’t uncommon for them to have five or six or even seven children, to compensate for what they would sacrifice in the Vuk od Varem. “I understand your fear, because everyone in the Cross shares it, but most people change their minds. You’re only twenty.”

“And when I am thirty, forty, fifty, there will still be a Vuk od Varem. Still a son, every single year, who must give all for our village.Everyfamily must provide one.” She sucked in, her head shaking. “I won’t do it. Call me selfish, cold... I don’t care. But I have already sacrificed almost everything for our people, and I won’t give more. You, of anyone, should understand that after what you endured out there.”

“I dounderstand,but...” Valerian chewed his lip, lost for what he could or should say next. It was unfair to suggest she had been dishonest because she hadn’t. “We don’t have to decide now.”

“Valerian, Ihavedecided. You’re a good man for wanting to step into another man’s responsibility, but I’m not asking you to.”

Valerian struggled with her confession, though he knew she wouldn’t think differently of him. He wasn’t less of a man for what had happened to him, but it felt that way. The vedhma had tried and tried to make it right, but his wounds had been too grievous to return all his function. His family was indifferent to his disfigurement, but he expected as much from the parents who had passed over their eldest son for the Vuk od Varem to send their second in his place. “I can’t have children. My internal injuries... Not everything could be saved. I can still... you know... but if you change your mind about children years down the road, it will be too late. This child will be our only chance.”

Pity flashed across her eyes—fleeting, but he saw it. “Then you chose your wife wisely, for I have no expectations.” Her smile faltered. “I’m sorry, V. I really am. And I know your relationship with your own family is convoluted right now. But Drazhan and Imryll are generous with sharing Aleksy, and will be with all their children. Being his teta is such an honor. One day I’ll have to watch him...” Her voice caught. “Go into the forest as well, and that will be the hardest day, hard enough without making it worse by adding the only child I would ever have to the pain.”

“It doesn’t have to be a death sentence.”

“But it almost always is.” Aesylt looked away. “The year Drazhan won his bid against the wulf, he had help. The sorcerer Mortain intervened... thesamecreature who put Witchwood Cross in the sights of the king. Imryll’s real father, who put them on the path to each other. We’ll never know if my brother would still have won without it, but my heart knows the answer.”

He’d heard that rumor, but Aesylt verbalizing it gave the claim veracity. Of course he’d thought about what it would mean to send his own child into the forest, but it was their way of life, and Drazhan wasn’t the only son who’d conquered the wulf, help or no. The first one had actually been a Barynov.

“V, the very last thing I wouldeverwant is for you to regret this.” Her eyes had glazed. He could see she was drifting. “Once we’ve returned to the Cross and put an end to all of this, we could undo what we’ve done. I would understand. You’d still be my dearest friend.”

“Just rest now, Aessy.” Valerian kissed her temple and rested his mouth there. His thoughts were spinning in so many directions, wild and detached, and he needed time with them. “We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

Aesylt woke abruptlyin the night. She glanced at Valerian, snoring softly beside her.

Spirits had always affected her strangely. Exhaustion visited on the front end, followed by wicked insomnia hours later. But the thoughts she’d held as she’d drifted to sleep were still as fresh several hours later, and there was no chance of returning to sleep with her mind so full, so she slipped carefully from the bed and tiptoed to her knapsack.

Aside from the clothes she’d stolen from Rahn, she’d packed only a couple of outfits, both practical: trousers and blouses appropriate for the long ride.

Aesylt dressed quietly and shrugged Rahn’s bulky cloak over her shoulders. Valerian hadn’t stirred at all and probably wouldn’t until morning. She blew him a kiss, unbolted the door, and exited into the hall.

A handful of patrons were still cozied up at the bar, but the tavern was otherwise empty. The pubkeep nodded at her as she descended the stairs, and she nodded back, bracing for the biting cold waiting for her.

An icy gale swept the night. She pinched the cloak tighter, lowered her head, and made for the stables. It would be warm enough for the privacy she needed to make sense of not only the past day but the past season. Her heart was still too sore to visit the celestial realm.

She passed no one on the short walk. The stables were empty, other than the horses boarded there. Just to be safe, she threw the wooden bolt once inside and made her way down the row to the beautiful mare she’d stolen.Exelcius,her saddle had said, but she didn’t look like an Exelcius, so Aesylt had taken to calling her Bella.

Bella immediately moved to the opening to say hello.

“Dobranok, Bella,” she said as she reached up to pet her snout. “We have a long ride ahead of us tomorrow, but I’ll make sure you have a fine breakfast in the morning before we go.”

Bella snuffled and nudged her mouth across Aesylt’s forehead, making her giggle.

“You like that word? Breakfast? There’s also noontide meal and supper and—” Aesylt stuttered a breath in when cold steel pressed against her throat. She couldn’t speak or turn. She held her breath as her thoughts sped through the possibilities.

“Move before I tell you to, and I’ll kill you. Run, scream, or fight, and I’ll kill you and my brother both.” A tug on the knife broke her flesh.

“Marek.” Aesylt’s fingers twitched, thinking of the dagger she’d foolishly left in the room. She had no excuse for the slip beyond exhaustion. “Just tell me what you want.”

“I’ll show you,” he said. “Not here.”

She remembered what Hraz had taught her about dangerous men.Never go anywhere without a fight. Once you leave the unknown, no one will be able to follow you.“You can show me here.”

He gathered her hair in his hand and ripped backward until she was staring at the ceiling. “I saidnot here.You know your choices. Make one.”

Blood trickled down her throat and into her blouse. A cautious glance revealed nothing close enough to help her. Marek had to know where she was staying, because he’d been waiting for her in the barn.

Which meant he knew where to find Valerian.

Aesylt wasn’t ready to die, but there’d been enough suffering. She was still the only one with the power to avoid more. “Okay, Marek.” She slowly raised her hands to her sides, to demonstrate compliance. “I won’t fight you.”