Page 109 of The Duke and the Disciple

She wanted him to finish the thought, but he couldn’t. Even trying was paralyzing. “I just...”See your pain, because it’s mine too. Except I can’t reach mine, and like you, that was intentional.“I don’t know, Aesylt.”

One of her hands slid up his arm until it reached his face. “Then maybe you should leave.”

“Is that really what you want?”

“What I want...” She laughed bitterly. “You’re the smartest man I have ever known, Adrahn, but you are utterly unable to communicate about whatever is going on inside of you.”

He couldn’t deny it, but all his life he’d been surrounded by emotionally stunted highborns, half of whom were oblivious to anything beyond themselves, the other half actively embroiled in the subjugation of a kingdom they had no right to. “What can I do to ease your mind?”

“Nothing.” Her hand fell away. Her sad smile lifted her reddened cheeks.

Rahn made a split-second decision, one of the few he’d made in a long while that had not begun with careful deliberations. He slid his hands until one pinned both of her wrists, and the other traveled south, down her arms, her side. She shivered, confused, but he continued on until he came to the soft, warm flesh of her thigh, exposed from where the ungainly dress had lifted. “I’ve known monsters. I may even be one myself. But I have never seen a heart as true as yours.” He dipped down and kissed her as his hand moved higher. She gasped with a slight tilt of encouragement. “Research or no—science or no—I would never share the intimacy I’ve shared with you if I believed that about you. If I have to prove it to you, I’ll do so. Fervently.”

Aesylt’s mouth parted in bewilderment. “We’re not in the celestial realm.”

“I don’t care.” Rahn cupped his hand between her legs. “Do you?”

“I never did.” Her eyes rolled back as his hand slid beneath her undergarment.

Rahn traced the length of his finger down her until she was flushed and panting. He paused, holding back an inappropriate chuckle at her wide-eyed offense. “Here’s what’s going to happen, Aesylt. If you want me to continue, you’re going to do exactly as I say.”

“What? What are you?—”

He pinched between her legs until she whimpered. “Repeat. After. Me. ‘I am not a monster.’”

“Rahn, I’m not?—”

“Say it.”

Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. “Why?”

“Say it.” His finger twitched.

“I am not... I’m not a...” Her face crumpled in pain, melting in pleasure. “A monster.”

“Good girl.” It was mere seconds before she was writhing beneath him as her release took hold. She slowly relaxed, her cheeks darkened with yet another shade of red.

Rahn removed his hand and unbuckled himself from his trousers. She watched him, clearly doubtful he would have the courage to take her right there, in their world, but he was beyond the confines of cowardice, or even bravery. She needed him, and he needed her, and there was nothing else to be said or done about it.

Entirely bound to the moment, he hooked one of her legs under his arm and lined himself up against her. She dragged her teeth against her lip and lifted, the final bit of encouragement he needed to take himself over the precipice between thought and action.

With a protracted groan, Rahn felt the last of his inhibitions disintegrate, replaced by a tight warmth that was even more delicious and perfect in their world. He pulled out and thrust into her, pushing a stilted exhale out of her that had him doing it over and over again just to hear the sound. His grip on her wrists tightened as he moved within her, but he forced himself to stop because there was more she needed to hear and to say.

“Repeat after me,” he said again. “‘I am imperfect, but I am brave. I did what needed to be done to protect what was left of my village. And I would do it again.’”

Her hands shifted under his hold, a fresh look of discomfort washing over her expression. “I know what you’re trying to do.”

“If you want me to fuck you, Aesylt, then you’re going to say it.”

Her eyes flashed wide. “I need to know this isn’t pity.”

Rahn offered a soft, humorless chuckle. “It’s not pity, Squish. Say the words, and I’ll do whatever you want me to do to you, and I’ll relish every damn minute of it.”

“I’m imperfect but brave. I did what I needed to do, to protect my people. And I would...” Her chest rose in a hard breath. “Do it again.”

Rahn released her hands and lifted her hips off the dresses. He dipped his thumbs between her legs. “You’ve earned it. Whatever you want.”

“This,” she whispered. “I’ve only ever wanted this.”

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