Page 157 of The Duke and the Disciple

“Why did you come back?”

“A man makes two kinds of mistakes in his life.” Rahn squeezed the chair arms. It was Aesylt he needed to talk to, but his relationship with Drazhan had always been one of mutual respect. He would no longer answer to the man, but he didn’t want to lose him either. “The ones that are beyond repair, and those we’ll spend a lifetime never repeating. It’s not the offender who determines which is true. Only Aesylt can decide where mine falls.”

Drazhan dragged his elbows against his knees with a bracing sigh. “Where was this fight before?”

“I don’t know where it was,” Rahn replied. “But I know where it is now.” He allowed himself a moment before saying what he’d been waiting to say. “When you sent us on to Wulfsgate, you told me one day, if I should want something, you would grant it.”

“That’snotwhat was meant.” Drazhan sat up. “I wasn’t bartering my sister’s safety for her person. If you’re asking?—”

“I ask nothing of you, Drazhan.” Rahn braced and stood, gripping the mantle for balance. “It’s Aesylt whose forgiveness I must ask. Then she can decide what to do with it.”

“And when she turns you away?”

“Your sister told me what she wanted the night she fled Wulfsgate. I didn’t listen then. I’m listening now, either way.”

The office door flung open and bounced off a bureau. Imryll entered, shaking her head at Drazhan, right before Aesylt flew in, wearing only a thin nightgown. “Someone is going to explain to me what’s—Rahn?”

Rahn gripped the mantle tighter and stood taller. “Squish.”

“Cub, head on into the Great Hall. We’ll be in shortly,” Drazhan said, but it was clear from his defeated tone he expected to be ignored.

She stepped sideways, distancing herself from all three of them. “What are you doing here?”

Rahn started in her direction, but his shaky muscles had his knees buckling. She surged forward in instinct right as he fell to his knees, but he was up before she could reach him. He shook off Drazhan’s offer of help.

“Send for the physician,” Drazhan called to Imryll.

She disappeared out the door.

“What’s wrong with him?” Aesylt stopped halfway, hovering between Drazhan and Imryll. “Draz, what did you do?”

“Saved his fucking life is what I did.”

“Your brother didn’t do this,” Rahn said. “I made it as far as Voyager’s Rest?—”

“Why did you gothere?”

“To be close to you.” Rahn’s face scrunched in a well of pain. “Aesylt...” He bowed his head with a soft sigh before meeting her fraught gaze. “I tried to carve you from my heart. A thousand cuts weren’t enough, for each of the chambers of this dark, damaged organ is made up of your smile, your laugh... your touch.”

“It’s late, and Adrahn is unwell. Morning would be better for this,” Drazhan said.

Aesylt’s head shook as he spoke. “No. You said you didn’t love me. You saideverythingwe went through, everything we...” Her gaze shifted to Drazhan. “Was all a misunderstanding.”

“And I can no longer call myself an honest man for a lie of such magnitude.” Rahn hobbled closer, using the furnishings for balance. Her eyes followed him, glossing over. “There isnothingI don’t love about you, Aesylt. There’s no morning I don’t wake thinking firstly of you. No night I sleep without even the most innocuous of our interactions of the day fresh in my dreams. I could lie further and say I could not see the abyss of my emptiness until you were no longer there to fill it, but I knew from theday I met you, my life was forever changed. I will never believe I am worthy of you, but that is not my judgment to make.”

Aesylt’s lips parted, but no words emerged.

Rahn removed his shaking hands from the chairs balancing him and folded them over his heart. “If you tell me the damage is too great, if you ask me to leave, I will. But if you allow me to stay, there is nothing in this world, or others, that would send me away from you ever again.”

Aesylt stood stock-still, her hands at her sides, tears rolling down her cheeks. “And tomorrow? What happens tomorrow, when you remember yourself?”

Rahn inched forward. “I loved you yesterday, Squish. I loved you a year ago. I love you now, and I will love you until the gods come to take me home to the Halls of Ilyn.”

Drazhan folded his arms and spun away with a sharp inhale.

Aesylt took her time crossing the room, but the moment she was in reach, Rahn stretched a hand to cradle her face. Weeping, she folded herself into his arms. They melted against each other, speaking no words until she looked up and into his eyes. “Youare as imitable as the stars in our interminable sky, Adrahn. Please don’t ever speak of worthiness. Who is worthy of anything, if there is no objective decider? If I say I love you, then I love you. If you love me, then love me. Stop acting as though we’ve committed some terrible crime.”

Rahn nodded through his own tears. “I’m sorry, Aesylt. I am so very sorry.”

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