Page 16 of His Daggered Heart

Me: No…

Levi: …

Me: Fine, can you come over for movie night with me and Kohen? ??

Levi: What? Are you serious? Lol

Me: Yes, he said it would be cool if we could all hang out…

Levi: I don’t know, sweetness, I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’m pretty sure he hates me.

Me: Trust me, he wouldn’t ask me to invite you if he didn’t want to. Besides, Cora will be here.

Levi: Send me the address

Me: Asshole! I should be enough reason to come. I’M your BEST FRIEND!

Levi: Sorry? But I didn’t want to be a third wheel while you get it on or anything, at least this way I’m not.

Me: Okay just check my location and come here, see you soon ??

A voice message comes through. I lower the volume and hit play.

“I am already in the truck, need anything before I get there?”

Me: Galaxy cubes and a Dr. Pepper, please.

Another voice message.

“I already knew that, what about for Cora?”

Me: Blue raspberry sour straws and a Sprite, thanks. Love ya.

The cookies are coming out of the oven as soon as I get a text that Levi is here. My hands are sweaty and I’m nervous as fuck. I don’t know why. Levi and I aren’t romantic in any way but the lies that I let Kohen believe about us are twisted in his mind, so his thoughts about Levi and I are just as twisted. He thinks something happened between us, like Levi saving me. Levi did but not in the way that Kohen thinks he did. It’s love, yes, but not the kind of love I have for Kohen. I love Levi like a big brother and vice versa.

Levi is my rock, my therapist, my shoulder to lean on and he gave me family. Like going to church on Sundays with his family and then spending time doing family things afterward. We would eat lunch and go to the park or the movies. So many moments that were part of the work I’ve been doing on myself.

Don’t get me wrong- I’m the south side of heaven. I will still knock anyone out who hurts me or the people I love. The anger still radiates and simmers under my skin but Levi taught me to pause, breathe, and think first. The core of who I am and my trauma still exist within me and I fight it daily. Wrestling with the choices the old me wants to make while walking the line where the old me and the present me hold hands, trying to become one version. Something new.

Going to the gym with Levi has helped with that more than anything. Channeling my aggression and anger and pain into one place in a healthy way. It’s been amazing and I’m not mad at the muscles I’ve built up. The improvement I’ve seen in my dancing has been the best result of that. I thought it was all bullshit, I really did not see the correlation between working out and dancing because dancingisa workout. I see it now, and even though I didn’t go into this to lose weight, which I haven’t, I’m still the same weight, just more muscle now. I stuck with it because I felt so fucking good afterward.

I walk toward the front of the house and Kohen’s arms wrap around me, I yelp and he whispers in my ear.

“Did I scare you, angel?”

I turn to look at him. “Yes, I was just coming to get Levi. He’s here.”

“Oh, well I’ll come with you and let him in.”

“No,” I say quickly, interrupting him. His brows furrow in confusion. “Sorry, I just want to welcome him in by myself to let him know that you’re cool with it.” I look up at him through my lashes, hoping he sees the words I’m not saying in my eyes. He stares into them for what feels like minutes before placing the softest kiss on my lips.

“Okay, angel, I get it.” He backs away, his hazel eyes filled with questions. Questions he can only get answers to while he sees Levi and me interact. I know he doubts our friendship, and wonders if it’s platonic, even though I have said it is several times now. So I’ll have to show him.

He walks away but not before planting a little love tap on my ass. I roll my eyes and he smirks, turning to walk away.

I take a deep breath and open the door.

My anxiety melts away as soon as I see that sunshine smile.

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