Page 24 of Going Down

Just like that.It’s what Dash says to me when my body tenses so that I’ll relax and ride out the waves of bliss. He changed me with such little effort. No, change is the wrong word. I’d been skeptical of Dash in the beginning because I was hiding the pieces of my personality that are akin to his. He brought out the best in me. Bit by bit those traits will show without his constant presence, but because of his encouragement to simply be me.

I need to prove to Dash that I’m strong enough to handle this, but I can’t help the devastation I’m feeling. “What about the trailer?” I rest my head to his pec, not ready to look into his icy blue eyes.

“Cadence and Gatlin are coming to pick it up. They’ll haul it back to Texas for me. They won’t be here for a few more days so I need your help. Capote’s gotta get fed. Looked after.” He runs a hand over his scalp. The other holds me tight. “Listen, Kat. If you don’t want to do it that’s fine. I’m bolting on you and it’s not fair.”

“No.” I pull back. “I’ll watch Capote. She’s grown on me and…”

“And?” He tilts his chin down.

“You said you and I were easy. Taking Capote is easy. Making a big deal out of your last night here not being the way we’d planned? Getting mad? That complicates it. We agreed to shoot from the hip.”

“Are you angry with me?” Dash wants honesty.

“I’m—” Tears well up in my eyes. “I’m sad that you’re going. That the season is over. I knew this was coming, but you leaving early makes it harder to say goodbye.”

“For me, too. I thought we had a week of fun left.” Dash kisses my forehead again. “There’s always next season. I’ve got a lead in Colorado. We could meet up out there.” There’s a hopefulness in his voice.

“I can’t leave New England, Dash. My dad needs me and this is my home.”

Dash may have helped me find myself again, but I’m still not ready for his vagabond life. I needed to be with someone like him to regain my footing. I’m sure I’ll take small steps toward more independence. Meanwhile, Dash will be base jumping from a helicopter with his board strapped to his feet. I accept each of our lives have their own pace and we were only supposed to intersect for this brief affair.

“When do you go?”

He steps back and pulls the trailer key from his pocket, holding out my hand, and closing my fingers around it.

“Tonight?” I gasp.

“My gear is packed. A car is picking me up in an hour to make it to Logan for the flight.”

It’s late and it takes twenty-one hours to reach New Zealand by air. I can’t imagine getting in another car after that to drive to the mountain. Or being mentally prepared for a training session, especially if it’s for Ski Patrol. Chip tested my abilities. He didn’t throw us out into the snow to go save people. I don’t expect Dash would be okay with someone who disregarded skier safety.

However, I still whisper “No” feeling as selfish for wanting Dash to stay for these last promised days as I’d considered my mother was for leaving.

“I’m not ready for this either.” Dash admits. “I wanted to have a silver lining to share with you.” He always seeks the bright side in the darkest moments.

Dash lightly touches his lips to mine in a sweet goodbye that’s soon overruled by reckless passion. Dash turns, pushing my body against the exterior wall and covering it with his. I open for him and he deepens the kiss, threading his hands through my dreads. I’m overwhelmed by how much I want him. I have been since the first night he asked me to regain my spontaneity. When Dash wanted to meet the real me, not the girl who’d lost her compass and didn’t know which direction to turn in.

His fingertips skim my waistband, and the button my jeans pops. Dash’s lips trail down my neck.

“Here?” One of his thumbs flicks over my chilled nipple and I moan. The other hand delves, caressing my mound. “Someone might see.”

“Maybe they will, Katahdin. And if they do, it’ll be damn poetic. They’ll see the greatest mountain bringing a man to his knees. I’m not leaving without one last taste of you.”

The response chokes in my throat as Dash pushes a finger inside of me, working my pants lower, grabbing my bare ass, and sliding the fabric of my thong to the side. Warmth rushes through my veins, making the exposed skin on my thighs tingle from the dropping temperatures. Goosebumps raise as my inhibitions lower.

My mind is a maze of incoherent thoughts when his mouth finds my core. I stroke Dash’s cheek as he devours me. Looking at the outline of my tattoo in the faint light in contrast to his silky blond hair, I’m sure we’ve been waiting to ride this peak. And I have no regrets.

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12

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Good news will be brought to you by mail

It’s a beautiful spring day. The sun shines into the trailer giving the sense of loss without Dash here a surreal feeling about it. I’d almost prefer rainy weather because the sunshine makes me happy and, in turn, guilty that I’m not wallowing. Except, I know Dash looks at the bright side and I want him to be proud of me for doing the same, even if he can’t see me trying.

Capote is curled up by my belly in Dash’s bed. I’ve slept here for the past few nights to make sure she’s not lonely. The lanky kitten turns her head to meow.

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