Page 21 of Going Down

Cadence isn’t as fast a snowboarder as Dash or my dad is on skis. The guys wind up racing one another down the first time. So I fall back and glide through each wide turn with Dash’s cousin, enjoying the sun on my face, and glad that my dad is having a good time.

They’re in the lift line when Cadence and I are ready for our second run. By the third, my guys wave from the bench ten feet above us. Their gear hangs off their boots and they are yelling that they’ll wait at the top this time.

Cadence and I slide into the end of the line. She lifts her goggles, flashing the longest eyelashes I’ve ever seen. She’s graceful. I pepper her with questions about how she got into woodworking because it seems like she’d want a glamour-length manicure to match the rest of her.

She chuckles, pulling off her gloves to show me her trimmed nails and the cuts on her hands. She’s also kind enough to recommend a great lotion for dryness that works well during the harshest winter.

My gut reaction to her goofing off with Dash makes me feel awful. I allow my hurt and preconceived notions to slip away as we make small talk and find myself liking Cadence for all the reasons I thought I wouldn’t. It’s obvious she loves Dash exactly the way she should. Their history together is because they grew up in a big extended family, close enough in age to look out for one another.

“So, Kat, are you sliding out of here when the season is over?” She makes a motion like she’s slalom skiing.

“Nope. I work at this resort year-round.”

“Pretty boy hasn’t asked you to go?” Her question questions my sanity.

“Why would he?” I respond, uncertain as to why it would have reason to come up. Dash knows I can’t leave my dad the same way I know he’s incapable of staying. Not more than an hour ago he told me as much.

Cadence folds her arms and scoffs tossing a thumb over her shoulder, directing it up the mountain. “He’d kill me for telling you this, but that boy? His momma knows everything about you. And in our family? If your momma knows then everybody knows. Heck, Gatlin, Ro, and Lily have mentioned how much Dash talks about Kat when he calls home.”

“I’m lost.” I shake my head.

Cadence rambles about a godforsaken grapevine that’s gotten her into, and out of, binds depending on how fast she and her cousins have intercepted information.

“What I’m telling you is if Dash wasn’t serious about you then we wouldn’t have a name to put to a face. He would have made sure you weren’t around when I visited. And instead of my aunt worrying about how lonely her baby boy is above the Mason-Dixon line, she wouldn’t pepper me with a million questions about if he’s staying or whether you’re going.”

“You’re supposed to report back to his mother?”

“Anything you don’t want me to tell her?” Cadence jabs my middle as we sit on the lift with our feet swinging out over the crowd. “Don’t worry. I intend to leave out how he’s got you half-moved in.”

“Wait. What do you mean half moved in?”

I’m still in shock over Dash’s family knowing a thing about me when I didn’t know that his cabinet-fixing cousin was female. I may have a spare pair of panties stashed in a stair drawer and have forgotten my favorite gloves at Dash’s, but it’s not like my boots are under his bed. There’s no space for them there, anyway.

“People like you only need your board and fresh powder. You could survive anywhere, Kat. You don’t need all the trappings of a hotel the way I do.”

“You don’t know me that well. My parents. Well, my dad, has an ostentatious house.”

“Uh-huh, Sugar.So do his. The only things that’re bigger is Dash’s need for speed and…” She stops mesmerized by the ant-like guests skiing and riding as we rise to the top.

“And?”

“Oh, yeah. He’s got a heart bigger than Texas that he shares with everyone. Dash needs people in his life. Good people. He gets lonely out there looking for whatever it is he’s trying to find.”

“What do you think he’s trying to find?”

“You.” She says pointedly, then concedes, “Or someone like you. Let me ask you this, Kat: Have you ever met anyone like Dash?”

“No.” I laugh aloud, looking at him making hoot-owl faces at us from the top. I’m not sure why he’s doing it, but my father gets into the act.

“Well, he’s never met anyone like you either. If anyone can see someone’s true self under all those layers it’s Dash. I think Dash knows it didn’t take you long to look past his idiosyncrasies and figure out who he really is. It reminded you of yourself, didn’t it? That you can be smart and a kook at the same time.” Cadence prepares to jump off the lift. “Listen, Kat. I saw how tense you were when we met. It’s not my business what hurt you or who made you feel like you couldn’t be yourself. But Dash is the type who goes out of his way to build your confidence back up. Your choice isn’t if you stay or go with him to the next resort. It’s if you stay stuck right where you are. You can flounder anywhere in the world.”

As we push off and join Dash and my father, I stay to the back of the pack. It’s easiest to lie believing it’s for Cadence’s sake, even though she’s not a novice. I’m mature and responsible. I’m not an emotional wreck. And I’m certainly not holding myself back to care for my dad. My job is fulfilling. I don’t need to be Shackleton or Hilary exploring the arctic the way that Dash conquers a new peak each season.

As my thoughts fall to Dash, I become lost in what Cadence said about his life being lonely. Finally recognizing that Dash’s outgoing personality is what draws people to him. Not only is being outlandish part of who he is, making friends is a coping mechanism for his solitude.

He leaves an impression every place he travels. Yet, the one on my heart is the one I concentrate on. Cadence swears Dash’s goal is to remind me that I can move mountains. Being named after the greatest mountain, I need to decide if I’m planning to live up to that. The other option is to continue calling my own bluff, lose my footing, and crumble because of one quake that was no fault of my own.

It takes a moment for the shrieks to filter through the noise in my brain. Up ahead Dash and my dad have skidded to a halt. I’ve hardly had time to look up when Dad abandons his skis and Dash his board. They run toward a little boy who is clinging to the lift bench for dear life.

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