Page 10 of Going Down

5

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If certainty were truth, we’d never be wrong

I have a full cup of hot chocolate and a satisfied smile on my face approaching First Aid the following Saturday. I’ve found myself back at Dash’s tiny trailer a few times over the week. We play games and talk. I’ve laughed myself silly watching him change the kitten’s sweater, teasing it’s the same way a little girl chooses what outfit her baby doll wears.

The days I’ve been busy, Dash has remarked that it’s okay. Capote keeps him company. It gives me weird pangs. I’m quickly starting to miss the little lack-of-fur ball’s antics the way I do her odd, but hot, owner.

The lifts were open late last night. When Dash suggested we take off together, I left my gear in my locker. He’d put a little crock pot on simmer with enough to feed both of us almost as if he knew I’d agree to come for dinner. Later, I sampled the spice on his tongue and he whispered sweet things in my ear. We found ourselves groping one another, losing the last ounce of self-control, and wound up scaring the poor cat into the rafters as we tumbled onto the unmade bed.

I’m not sure what stopped me from sleeping with Dash last night. Maybe it’s fearing, like everything else, the contentment will be short-lived. Entering the building, I know I’ve made the right choice upon hearing Dash’s voice.

“Would you mind changing this so I’m with Sidney instead?”

“Sure. I figured you and Kat worked so well together last Sunday that you wouldn’t mind teaming up with her again.” Chip erases my name, fixing the assignments to the way Dash wants them.

“Thanks. I appreciate it. I don’t mind Kat in a pinch. She’s good people.” Dash knocks on the counter with confidence and turns for the locker room to stow his belongings.

My stomach bottoms out. The same guy who I let dry hump me not eight hours ago is saying he’d rather not be my partner. And what does “good people” mean? Like good enough to fool around with, but not actually interact with clothes on?

The closing door announces my arrival a bit too loud considering.

“What’s the fortune today, Kat?” Chip asks me.

I haven’t had a chance to snap open the cookie yet and pull the cellophane package from my zippered breast pocket. I stand over the trash can mutilating the wafer until there’s nothing left but dust and wrinkled paper.

“If certainty were truth, we’d never be wrong.” I read aloud.

The fortune hits the nail on the head. I was positive Dash and I had something. So much for that theory.

“I like it!” Chip’s fingers fly over the keyboard. He hits enter and a bunch of dings go off immediately. “They love it!”

“Great.” I mutter under my breath, glancing at the schedule board. “Is Gwen in yet?” I ask about my partner.

“Yup. She ran down to the shop for wax. I expect her back any minute.”

I nod and focus on the fact that I’m not stuck paired with a guy for the day. With multiple teams, it’ll be easier to avoid Dash. I’m not brooding on this. Guys change their minds all the time. Hell, if my mother is any indicator of people going through relationships like others use toilet paper, women do too.

I take a walk-talkie from the charging stand and tell Chip to let Gwen know I’m waiting for her by the nearest lift.

Gwen and I get in runs between emergencies, oftentimes arriving at the accident scene quicker than I had last weekend when it made more sense to stay alert inside the building. I’ve spent the past eight hours giving Dash a wide berth when we weren’t scuttling about in the triage area or skiing around one another on the slopes. When the shift ends, I throw my bags over my shoulder trying to book it home before anyone notices. Skiing renews my soul, but I’m tired of plastering on a happy face.

I use my glove to remove a light dusting of snow off my passenger side door. Opening it, I pull the snow brush from the floorboard to clean off my Jeep. One frantic swipe into the job, Dash comes up behind me like a stealth jet and takes the scraper from me.

“What are you doing?” My nostrils flare as I snap.

“Cleaning off your car?”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not only unsafe to drive with the windows covered up like this it’s also illegal to have snow and ice blowing off the hood or the roof.”

I’m slack-jawed.

“Did you not know that?”

“Of course, I knew! Everyone knows that.”

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