Page 23 of Rescue My Heart

She squeezed her knees with her hands trying to calm herself, her mind spinning a mile a minute. She had been curious about what it would be like to be with McKenna, a woman. The idea had crossed her mind and lingered there, but she had never imagined it would feel so...right. Yet, now that it had happened, the flood of fear and uncertainty started to hit her hard.

What would people think if they found out?

Mazey's stomach twisted at the thought. She had spent years carefully crafting her image: the poised actress, always in control, always perfect. Being seen with McKenna, let alonehaving it come out that she was with a woman, could unravel everything she had built. She’d seen how the public treated people when they stepped out of line, even just a little. She had watched others—celebrities, public figures—be torn apart by rumors, gossip, and scandals, even over things far less shocking than this.

Her mind drifted to her last serious relationship, a high-profile romance with a famous actor. When they’d broken up, the media had a field day. Every detail of her personal life had been dissected and exaggerated until she barely recognized the person they were writing about. She had just started to feel like she had gotten back on solid ground. If this got out, if anyone even suspected that she was with McKenna, it could be a disaster. And McKenna wasn’t famous. She was from Phoenix Ridge, not Hollywood. Would they tear her apart even worse because of that?

Dating someone ordinary? Was that going to be another crime?

Mazey could picture the headlines already. “Mazey Snow’s Secret Romance,” “Mazey’s New Lesbian Love Scandal”, and worse, she could see the consequences. The interviews she might lose, the sponsorships, the roles. She had fought hard to get where she was, to build a career based on her talent and hard work, not just her looks or connections. Could she risk losing it all for this? For McKenna?

But even as her thoughts raced, she knew that what happened last night was different. The connection she felt with McKenna, it wasn’t like anything else. It wasn’t just a fling, not some mistake. It had been real, genuine, and now that she had felt it, she wasn’t sure she could walk away from it. She didn’t want to. But how could she balance what she wanted with the image she had to uphold?

She didn’t want to think about it, but she knew she had to. It wasn’t like she could just pretend it hadn’t happened. But the stakes were higher now. If this went viral, if people started talking... She didn’t know if she could survive another public exposé. And this time, it wouldn’t just be about a breakup or a romance gone wrong. This time, it could ruin her career, her entire life.

She sighed, rubbing her temples. There was no easy answer, no clear path forward. She was standing at the edge of something unknown, something thrilling, but also terrifying. What scared her the most, though, was that despite all the risks, part of her still wanted to take that step forward. Part of her wanted to see what could happen with McKenna. But another part of her wondered if she was about to make the biggest mistake of her life.

Although all these negative thoughts were swirling in her mind, Mazey couldn’t shake the feeling McKenna gave her. Every time she tried to focus on the potential fallout, the image of McKenna’s face, her touch, and the warmth she felt with her the night before resurfaced. The night they’d shared had been incredible. It wasn’t just the physical connection, though that had been undeniably electric. It was something deeper. Mazey felt a pull toward McKenna that scared her. It was more than lust or curiosity. There was an emotional connection she hadn’t felt in a long time, if ever.

That was what frightened her the most.

She’d been with men before—famous men, men who knew how to play the game, men who understood the demands of being in the public eye. It had always been easy to compartmentalize those relationships and keep them at arm’s length. But McKenna...she wasn’t a part of that world. She was real, grounded, and that made everything feel more intense.Mazey wasn’t used to that kind of raw, unfiltered connection. And now that she’d had a taste of it, she wanted more.

But was it worth it?

She bit her lip as she considered the consequences. Was McKenna even looking for something serious? They hadn’t talked about it, and the last thing Mazey wanted was to assume they were on the same page. McKenna was kind, sure, but did she want to take on all that came with being involved with someone like Mazey? The attention, the scrutiny, the invasive headlines? It wasn’t fair to expect McKenna to navigate the pressures of fame just because Mazey was curious about where things could go. Could McKenna handle being with a celebrity? More importantly, should Mazey ask her to?

Mazey's stomach twisted at the thought. If word got out about them, everything would change. They wouldn’t be able to go out without being watched, analyzed, and judged. The media would dig into McKenna’s life, expose her to the kind of relentless attention that even seasoned actors struggled to handle. Could she do that to McKenna? Could she ask someone who had no experience with the harsh realities of fame to dive headfirst into her world?

The uncertainty gnawed at her. Maybe it was better to leave this as a one-time thing, a passionate moment between two people who were better off as a secret. But even as the thought crossed her mind, her chest tightened. She didn’t want to walk away from McKenna. The idea of not seeing her again, not feeling that connection, left a hollow ache in her heart. Mazey wasn’t sure if she was ready for something serious, but the truth was, she didn’t want this to end.

She pushed those thoughts away as she walked onto the set, trying to focus on work. The usual hustle and bustle of production surrounded her, the makeup artists, the wardrobe changes, the endless stream of instructions from the director.But for once, she wasn’t fully present. McKenna lingered in the back of her mind, her touch, her smile, the way her eyes had softened as they lay together after their shared intimacy.

Mazey took a deep breath, pushing her shoulders back as she prepared for a day of filming. She had to get it together. There was no room for distractions, not here. This was her career, her life. She had worked too hard to let her feelings for someone, no matter how strong, throw her off balance. But even as she tried to push it all aside, McKenna’s face flickered in her thoughts again.

What if this could be more? What if it was worth the risk? Mazey couldn’t deny how right it had felt with McKenna, even with all the fears and doubts that came with it. This was definitely something she had to figure out and soon.

After she finished the first scene, she went to her trailer and stared at her phone, torn between the urge to message McKenna and the fear of what that might mean. The night they had shared kept replaying in her mind, every touch, every breath, every moment that made her feel more alive than she had in years. She couldn’t stop thinking about it. But now, as she faced the reality of the day, her emotions felt like a tangled web she didn’t know how to navigate.

She wished she had someone she could confide in, someone to share everything that was happening with her. The burden of keeping it all to herself was becoming too much to bear. She had close friends, sure, but none she could talk to about this, not really. They wouldn’t understand. Even the ones who were the closest to her wouldn’t get the complexity of what she was feeling. How could they? They didn’t know what it was like to be in the spotlight all the time, where every personal decision was displayed for the world to see. And more than that, they didn’t know the pressure of being seen a certain way, of having an image to maintain.

Mazey glanced out the small window, the bustle of the set just beyond the glass. She was surrounded by people all day, yet she felt so isolated. The thought of telling someone, of opening up to a trusted friend or confidant, was tempting, but it was too risky. The problem was, there was no-one she trusted completely. And she thought to herself just how sad that was. It wasn’t just about her; there was McKenna to consider too. She couldn’t afford to let this slip, not even to her closest friends. One wrong word in the wrong place, and suddenly her personal life would be all over the tabloids.

And yet...the idea of sharing this with someone who could truly understand felt like a weight lifted from her chest. But who? Who could she trust? Who would keep her secret safe and not judge her for falling for someone like McKenna? Someone who wasn’t famous, someone who wasn’t in the public eye? The media would tear her apart if they found out she was seeing a woman. And not just any woman, someone who had nothing to do with the world of glitz and glamor. She wasn’t sure she was ready to face that kind of scrutiny, let alone drag McKenna into it.

Mazey felt her phone buzz in her hand, but it wasn’t the message she was hoping for. It was from her manager, reminding her of the upcoming shoot schedule for the next few days. She sighed and tossed the phone back onto the couch beside her. She didn’t want to think about work right now. All she wanted to think about was McKenna.

She wondered if McKenna was thinking of her and would text. The night they shared had been intense, and she knew that McKenna had felt it too. But what if McKenna wasn’t as caught up in the moment as she was? What if she saw it as just a fun, passionate night with no strings attached? The thought made her stomach churn. Mazey wasn’t sure if she could handle it ifthat were true. She didn’t want to be just a passing fling for McKenna.

Part of her wanted to take matters into her own hands and message McKenna first. Maybe she could casually bring it up and see how McKenna was feeling without coming on too strong. But the other part of her, the one that had spent years building walls around her heart, told her to wait. Let McKenna come to her. After all, if McKenna was really interested, she’d reach out, right? Mazey shouldn’t have to chase her.

But what if McKenna was feeling just as nervous, just as unsure about what came next? The vulnerability of it all gnawed at her. For the first time in a long time, Mazey felt unsure of her next move. Usually, she was confident, in control. But this...this was different.

With a sigh, Mazey picked up her phone again, her fingers hovering over the screen. Should she text her? Should she wait? The indecision gnawed at her. All Mazey knew was that she didn’t want this to be the end, and yet, she had no idea how to move forward without risking everything she had worked so hard to build.

"You know what? I’m Mazey fucking Snow," she thought, her resolve strengthening. "What harm is a little texting? A little flirting?" If McKenna didn’t want to continue, she’d just ignore her, right? Mazey tried to calm the anxious flutter in her chest as she stared at her phone, willing herself to stop overthinking. She had been bold in so many other areas of her life, why was this any different?

After a moment’s hesitation, she decided to keep it simple and playful. A rose emoji. That would get the point across. It wasn’t too forward, but it was enough to let McKenna know she was thinking of her. She smiled at the thought, her confidence returning as she hit send.

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