Page 84 of One Touch

“I know, I know. I’m just kidding.”

But I could tell that she wasn’t.

***

After breakfast, Ava and I read together for a couple of hours.

Ethan suddenly remembered some work he needed to do and headed to the garage.

I was desperate to talk to him about what had happened the night before, but I still hadn’t figured out quite what I wanted to say.

That was so freaking hot?

That can never happen again?

The rules are stupid and we should just ditch them and see what happens?

No, no, no. I was so mixed up. I couldn’t trust myself to express what I really felt. Frankly, I didn’t even know what I really felt.

Well, I knew some of the things I felt.

I felt excited. I felt horny. And of course, of course, of course, I felt like Ethan was the most perfect man to ever happen to me.

But then I was Lily Lane. And I had a history of feeling like that, only to wake up one day and realize I’d been a complete and utter fool.

I definitely knew that I loved reading with Ava. Made me feel like a kid again. Like I was discovering this huge new world of words and imagination. As we read, I couldn’t help but wonder what it might be like to spend more time with her. Withthem. As part of their life. I’d see Ava grow up. Become more confident. Mature.

To my surprise, I didn’t find the idea daunting at all. In fact, it felt wonderful. It would be a huge honor to help guide and nurture this brilliant young girl.

Ethan did an amazing job as a dad. He worked so hard and cared so deeply for his daughter.

But I wondered what I might be like as a . . . mom.

Oh god. Why was I doing this to myself?

Eventually, it was time to go. We gathered up Ava’s book—Firefighter Daddywas shaping up very nicely—and headed over to Cole and Elara’s place, where Ethan was due to meet us.

“It’s really cool you’re coming along today,” Ava said as we walked up the track toward Cole’s place.

“I feel a bit nervous,” I admitted.

“Why?”

“It’s a family dinner. And I’m not family. Just a nanny.”

She grabbed my hand. “You’re family to me.”

My heart almost melted.

Cole and Elara’s new place was awesome. Cole had finished the rebuild a few months ago, but everything still looked brand new. For the longest time, Cole had lived in an old trailer in an empty trailer park with a view of the ocean. When he’d got together with Elara, though, he’d decided to knock his old trailerdown and build a gleaming, modern house on the spot where it used to stand.

The house looked phenomenal, all glass and clean lines, but somehow in keeping with the coastal landscape. Maybe it was the natural materials he’d used, like stone and slate. Maybe it was the neutral color palette he’d chosen, reflecting the shades of sea and sand. Whatever it was, he’d nailed it.

I pressed the doorbell, and a moment later, I heard the scampering of excitable paws on the hardwood floor.

“Anthony!” Ava squealed with delight.

Elara’s stupidly cute Cavalier King Charles Spaniel pushed his wet nose up against the glass next to the front door, leaving a big smear, and then he did an excited donut.

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