Page 51 of One Touch

“Oh? It’s not?”

“That’s why it’s so dangerous. You’re . . . desirable, Lily.”

She blinked at me.

“When I think of you with Vlad, it makes me sick. Really. Like my gut churns and I can feel all this anger rise up inside me like bile.”

“That’s . . . sweet?”

“Someone like him wasn’t worthy of licking your fucking boots, Lily. You’re smart. Funny. Insanely hot.” I took a steadying breath. “And that’s why nothing can ever happen between us. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. Not Ava, not you.”

“What about you?”

“I’m a big boy, Lily. I can handle it.”

She searched my face, her eyes filled with a tenderness that nearly broke me. “You’ve been handling it for a long time, haven’t you? All of it.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but the words caught in my throat. I felt so seen it was painful. Like she knew me deeply, intimately.

“It’s hard.”

“It’s like being a firefighter,” she said with a nod. “You’re constantly on call, never off duty. Always ready to jump into action at a moment’s notice.”

“Yeah. It’s not just the big things, either, like bandaging skinned knees or chasing away monsters under the bed. It’s the little everyday stuff that really drains you. Packing lunches,remembering permission slips, trying to juggle work and school schedules. . . . “

“It sounds lonely.”

Fuck, she was smart. “Yeah.”

“You ever thought about finding someone new?”

I sighed. How could I tell her that the idea of letting someone in again terrified me to my core? That the thought of losing another person I cared about was too much to bear?

Lily gave my arm a gentle squeeze before releasing me, the moment passing as quickly as it had come. “I’m sorry for prying. I just . . . care.”

“I guess we’re friends.”

“Right. Friends.” She nodded. “Thanks for your honesty.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“It feels good to have someone be straight with me, even if it isn’t what I want to hear.”

I nodded. “I don’t really do lies.”

“I can tell. You’re a good man, Ethan.”

I fixed my gaze on her. “I’m broken, Lils. That’s the truth of it.”

She looked right back at me, her eyes softening. “We’re all a little broken. That’s what makes us human.”

A moment of understanding passed between us, heavy with unspoken words and unfulfilled desire.

Lily cleared her throat. “I should probably go dry off,” she said, breaking the tension with a small smile. “Hopefully without breaking anything else in the process.”

“Just don’t break any hearts,” I said, attempting levity.

She paused at the doorway, her expression unreadable. “Too late for that, I think.”

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