Page 138 of One Touch

“You should really get into vampire romance, though,” said Yolande. “It’s way hotter, and I have a ton of new paranormal books on order right now.”

“I’ll stick with Lavender Farms for now,” I said, suppressing a smile. “One genre at a time.”

“Your loss, dude.”

“So,” I said, trying to sound casual, “heard from Lily lately?”

Yolande shifted uncomfortably. “Oh yeah, I have. We keep in touch. You know, she’s the store owner.”

My heart clenched. “That’s . . . good. How is she? I mean, is she. . . ?”

“Happy,” Yolande said, her tone softening. “She seems really happy, Ethan.”

I nodded, swallowing hard. “Good. That’s . . . that’s good.”

Weirdly, itwasgood. I wanted her to be happy. I just wished I could get there, too.

Chapter 23

Lily

The memory that hauntsme most—more than the moment my mom told me Dad had left us, or even when I left my cheating fiancé at the altar—is the moment I told Ava that I was leaving.

Before heading to New York, I had arranged with Ethan to meet with Ava to talk. I hadn’t seen her for a couple of days, and when she laid eyes on me, she gave me the most heartbreaking smile.

Ethan had left her with me without saying a word, and I’d taken Ava for a sea salt caramel ice cream from the stand near the pier.

“When are you coming back to live with us?” she asked as we walked along the beach.

“Honey,” I replied, my throat tightening. “I’m not.”

Ava’s ice cream melted, dripping onto the sand. Mine sat forgotten in my hand, a sweet reminder of a bitter moment.

Ethan was right. I’d abandoned them. It hadn’t been my fault. Not exactly. What choice did I have? If Ethan didn’t love meback, then I couldn’t stay in whatever confusing limbo he was suggesting for us. But still, he hadn’t wanted me to go. Nor had Ava. And I’d left them.

I re-read the text Ethan had sent me yesterday. Asking me if I was going back to Bluehaven Beach any time soon. If I’d consider meeting up with Ava.

My fingers hovered over the phone screen, heart pounding as I typed out the words I’d been holding back for weeks.

Ethan, of course I want to see Ava. I miss her. I miss you. I miss Bluehaven. If only you wanted me, if only you could love me, I’d be back by your side in an instant. Please, please, let me back into your life. Into your heart.

I stared at it for a while, then added a P.S.

I don’t care about a happy ever after, by the way. I just want a happy for now.

My thumb trembled over the send button, poised to tap.

A muffled siren wailed in the distance, pulling my attention to the floor-to-ceiling windows of my Midtown office. Eight stories up in this glass and steel skyscraper, the bustle of Manhattan felt surreal—a crawling mass of yellow cabs and pedestrians below me, so different from the close-up, seaside life of Bluehaven.

Ugh. What was I thinking? There was no resolution waiting for me back home, just more pain and what-ifs.

With a frustrated groan, I deleted the message.

I tossed my phone aside and turned to the stack of manuscripts on my desk. Another day of blood-curdling horrorawaited me. At least in these stories, the monsters were obvious, unlike the subtle fears that had driven me from Maine.

“Everything all right, Lily?”

Coco’s voice snapped me back to reality. I blinked, realizing I’d been staring at my blank phone screen. Looking up, I saw her peering around my glass door, concern etched on her impossibly elegant face. Her black pantsuit—crisp, tailored, and screaming “sexy boss lady”—was a stark reminder of the polished world I now inhabited, and how I needed to keep my personal turmoil hidden.

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