Page 135 of One Touch

“Maybe we can arrange another phone call.”

I’d organized the first call because Ava had been missing Lily so badly. Even though Lily had agreed to speak to Ava, I got the distinct impression she didn’t want to speak tome.

Ava nodded, still pushing food around her plate. “Okay, but it’s not the same. I miss her.”

I’d heard almost nothing from Lily. I got snatches of information from Elara every now and then, but nothing more than, “She’s doing fine,” and the like. I thought about her allthe time, but I kind of didn’t want to know how things were going. No doubt she was seeing someone new. Someone young and handsome. Someone who could give her the romance she so badly craved.

“I know, Ava. I’m sorry you miss her.” I reached across the table, squeezing her hand. “Now, do you want to go over your spelling words one more time?”

“We didn’t get spelling words this week, Dad.”

“For real? Huh.”

A shake of the head. “Nope. Not this week.” I wished I could take away all of Ava’s sadness for her. But I couldn’t. And by driving Lily away, I’d probably added to it.

After breakfast, I took Ava to school.

She unbuckled her seatbelt but hesitated before opening the car door.

“Dad?” she asked.

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“I thought you and Lily were in love.”

It felt like getting sucker punched. “Oh yeah? Why did you think that?”

Ava shrugged, fidgeting with the straps of the backpack that lay in her lap. “It’s dumb.”

“It’s okay, sweetie, you can tell me.”

“Well, at the end ofMatilda, Miss Honey becomes Matilda’s guardian. Like, not exactly her mom, but kind of her mom. I don’t want just Lily to be my mom—not without you—but I thought she might . . . if she fell in love with you, and you fell in love with her, then it would be like a storybook coming true. Like a fairy tale.”

I ran a hand through my hair, searching for the right words. I didn’t want to lie anymore. “Ava, sweetheart, the truth is, I did have feelings for Lily. But it didn’t work out.”

Her brow furrowed. “She didn’t love you back?”

“Not exactly. It was complicated.” I felt like the world’s biggest asshole struggling to explain adult relationships to my eight-year-old daughter. “Real life isn’t like stories.”

“Never ever?”

My heart ached. I undid my seatbelt and hopped over into the back to sit next to Ava, before wrapping an arm around her and pulling her in close.

“It’s rare, darling. When you’re a kid, it feels as though everything is possible. But as you get older, things get more and more complicated until it feels like everything’s impossible.”

“I don’t want to grow up.”

I kissed her on the forehead.

***

At least I had work to take my mind off things. The Spyder sat in the middle of the garage. I’d been meaning to fix it for weeks now, but every time I psyched myself up to start working on the bodywork, I’d find some lame excuse to do something else.

It was Lily who’d wrecked the damn car, and this weird little part of me didn’t want to smooth out the damage she’d caused.

Totally nuts, but there it was. I couldn’t catch her scent on my sheets anymore, but at least I could see the dents she’d left on my priceless ride.

I made myself a coffee and looked around the garage, trying to figure out which job to tackle first. The Vladmobile was another task I couldn’t handle taking on right now. In fact, I didn’t feel like working at all. I didn't feel like doing anything. Not even going for a swim in the freezing cold ocean. I didn't want to try to shock Lily out of my system—that was the problem. I wanted to smell her, taste her, feel her. Savor her.

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