Page 77 of One Touch

“Casual sex is fun and everything,” said Cole, “but you have to try so hard at it. Working out how to keep it casual, then figuring out what to do if it stops being that way, making sure both of you are on board with the parameters of the relationship as time ticks by. Keeping it fun and sexy and playful without ever straying into romance territory.”

“Yes, thank you, I’m well aware of all this.”

“Strings sex, on the other hand, is the natural order of things. You’re allowed to fuck, you’re allowed to feel, you’re allowed to see how things progress.”

“And then before you know it, one of you fucks up somehow, the other one runs off, and Ava is left without a nanny, feeling abandoned.”

Cole raised his eyebrows. He opened his mouth, about to say something, then shut it again. Finally, he squeezed my shoulder. “Bro,” he said. “I can’t imagine how hard it is for you, worrying that history will repeat itself. Worrying about Ava being left inthe lurch. And I bet, deep down you’re worrying thatyoumight be abandoned, too.”

“It’s not about me. I can take it.”

Cole’s deep brown eyes looked at me with sincere kindness. “You know, it’s okay to admit you’re scared of being vulnerable.”

I felt anger bubble up inside me. “That’s not the issue, Cole, and you’re not my damn shrink.”

He held up his hands. “You’re right, I’m not. Sorry. Didn’t mean to seem like a know-it-all. Your situation with Ava is very different to mine with Lexi and Rhea.”

“It’s okay. I get it. I probably deserve it after everything I put you through with El.”

“I don’t want to tease you, Ethan. I want you to be happy. You deserve it.”

“This is the best way for me to stay happy,” I said through gritted teeth. “Sticking to our rules.”

“To your rules. Right.”

“Rules that ensure we won’t catch feelings.”

Cole nodded, way too sincerely for my liking. I didn’t trust him one bit. “Yeah,” he said, “rules will definitely help.”

Memories of last night flooded my mind. The way Lily’s eyes had sparkled as we’d looked at each other after I came inside her. The way she had traced the lines of my chest, my heart pounding against her fingertips. The way she had looked at me, like maybe she saw something more than just a broken man.

Cole took off his tux jacket. “Well, in that case, have fun and let it go. But don’t fucking hurt her, brother. Or Elara will literally kill you.”

“I’ll do my best. We’re both on the same page. And the rules will protect us.”

“The rules. Of course.” Cole removed his bow tie, and then said, “By the way, El actually asked me to ask you whetheryou and Ava would like to come around for Sunday dinner tomorrow.”

Normally, once a month, we got the whole family together for dinner, but since Dad and Suzie were away on their tour of South America, we’d been lax in organizing our get-togethers.

“That sounds good.”

“Might as well bring Lily, too.”

My breath hitched. “I don’t know . . .”

“I bet Ava would like her to be there. Plus, Rhea and Lexi are mad about her.”

My heart raced in my chest. “I don’t know, Cole. Feels a bit odd.”

“She’s Ava’s nanny. Plus, it will be a good test for you.”

“A test?”

“Right. If it feels uncomfortable, then you’ll know things have gone too far with Lily, and you can talk to her about resetting.”

“So, you’re saying it’s like—a way to see if I should break up with her?”

“I didn’t realize you were dating,” he shot back, not missing a beat.

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