Page 93 of Broken Bonds

“I probably won’t get far, but sure, why not?”

“I’ll catch you if you fall,” he teases with a grin aimed at me that does funny things to my heart.

And other parts of my anatomy.

“Uh huh,” I deadpan, despite my cheeks feeling like they’re on fire.

With his arm outstretched, I link my arm with his and rest my hand at the crook of his elbow. In an effort to stay warm, I huddle close to him and take measured steps down the streetlight illuminated sidewalk.

With the passing of the holidays, we have now entered a new year and spring isn’t far away. A new year without my alphas.

It’s… strange to realize that time really has moved on without them here. As the days go by, the pain subsides a little more each day, and the comfort of having friends and family around has definitely made a difference in coping with it. Even though I know I’ll always miss them, I take comfort in the thought that they’re always watching over me, and it gives me the courage to move forward.

I don’t feel as guilty when I smile now or when I feel genuine happiness. I don’t feel guilty forliving.

It’s relieving.

Waddling like a penguin, I hold on to Link’s arm to keep from slipping in any of the slush lining the walkway, and my breaths puff out of me in a cloud in the frigid air. We walk the few blocks to the park without speaking, just enjoying the company and seeing the untouched snow sparkling in the moonlight and lamp lights around the park.

When we reach the swings, Link leads me over to them.

“Come on. Sit. I’ll push,” he tells me, smiling a full smile.

One that makes his eyes sparkle, and his features appear younger.

Casting a quick glance at the swing, I turn back to him and raise an eyebrow skeptically.

“Link, I’m afraid not even half of one of my ass cheeks will fit on one of these at this stage of my pregnancy,” I huff out, shaking my head.

“Your ass looks fine from where I’m standing. Now, sit.”

When I turn my head and catch him unabashedly staring at my backside, I feel a flush of warmth take place on my cheeks. Sitting on the swing, I clear my throat and then spend a few moments shifting around until I find a comfortable position to settle into. I hold on to the chains as Link gently pushes my back, sending me gliding forward.

The cold air bites against my cheeks and the tip of my nose as the swing flies higher with each nudge forward from him. The fresh air is wonderful, the scent of freshly fallen, untouched snow mixed with hints of Link’s peppermint and my salted caramel scent mingling about, leaving me feeling content. I tilt my head back slightly, smiling as I stare up into the night sky and watch the stars winking in and out. While I maintain the motion of my swing, Link settles into the swing next to mine and breaks the silence.

“Lake and I used to go to the park near our foster family’s house a lot when we hit middle school. We’d make a game out of who could swing the highest. When that wasn’t enough, we’d see who could swing the highest and jump the farthest. We went home with a lot of bruises and, on occasion, a few broken bones,” he laughs as he pumps his legs, getting higher than me.

I watch as his hair flies back away from his face with every forward motion and he closes his eyes, tilting his face up towards the moon. Right now, he looks so carefree, none of the burdens from losing Lake weighing him down as he just lives in the moment with me.

“He was still a big kid at heart, in case you were wondering,” I tell him, smiling up at the sky as I kick my legs.

“Yeah?”

“Yep. Never turned down a challenge, no matter how stupid it may have been. Loved to make those around him laugh, coming up with the most insane jokes that cracked even some of the toughest nuts. He was silly and full of life. It’s what I loved most about him. That, and his undying loyalty and his love for Van.”

“I’m glad they had you. I worried they were alone, but knowing they had you and that you so readily accepted them for who they were makes me grateful for you.”

I sigh, shaking my head with a small smile.

“Nah, I was the lucky one. They deserved all the love they could get, and if they had that with each other, then who am I to take that from them, ya know?”

“Will you tell me more about him?” he asks quietly, and I glance over as my swing slows.

We sit on the swings until my legs go numb, just talking. I tell him more about Lake over the years, funny memories I can think of, and special moments I hold dear to my heart. I laugh a lot, and maybe a shed a few tears, but mostly, I smile.

After an hour in the cold, Link walks me back to my car, my hand firmly in his. And it doesn’t make me want to cry. It doesn’t hurt to look at him anymore, to be around him. I look forward to our talks after group meetings these days. Look forward to spending time with him.

I don’t know if it’s because he’s the last connection I have to Lake or if it’s something else, something more, that pulls me to him, but I’m learning to trust my instincts and gut feelings again. And my instincts tell me that Link is important to me.

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