Page 89 of Broken Bonds

Me: Pop’s in twenty? I’ll meet you there.

Forde: You got it, Baby Doll. See you soon.

Baby Doll…

I don’t hate it. Just like I didn’t hate it when Link called me Sunshine or Rion called me Ray.

I always loved that the guys had nicknames for me, and it’s no different with these three. It makes my heart flutter and ache just a little less.

I quickly get dressed, throwing my hair up, and rush out to the car, eager to get to the diner and finally see Forde again. I’m nervous as well, but I’m an adult that made a choice, so I need to live with that. He asked if I was sure, and I said yes. He gave me a chance to say no. Taking it out on him never should have happened. I should have talked to him after, but I was just so overwhelmed. I owe him the biggest apology right now.

I’m soon pulling into the parking lot and catching sight of Forde’s truck. I park beside him, realizing he must already be inside when I don’t see him outside. Taking a deep breath, I get out and steel myself for this, then head for the doors. When I walk in, I spot the giant alpha immediately and head for the back booth he chose. His head is bowed and he has a cup of coffee cupped between his hands as he stares into the mug.

As I walk to where he sits, I take stock of his state. I can see dark circles under his eyes that make me think he hasn’t been sleeping and his face is haggard. Normally, Forde’s face is clean shaven, but right now his stubble is grown out like he just hasn’t cared to deal with it.

I hate it. I hate how terrible he looks right now, and I know it’s because of me. Which only serves to make me feel even worse for how I treated him. After everything he’s done for me, knowing how much he’s worried about me, how could I not even speak to him to let him know I’m okay? That I don’t blame him, nor am I mad at him.

He looks up and catches sight of me just before I get to him and gives me a tentative smile. I smile back at him so he knows I’m not upset and I watch as the tension he was holding in his shoulders bleeds out and he slumps in his seat. He takes a deep breath when I sit across from him, but before either of us can say anything, Linda is there. I ask her for a coffee and look back at Forde when she’s gone. He goes to open his mouth and I shake my head, wanting to speak first.

Needing to.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the way I treated you and how I scared you after our night together. That was terrible of me and instead of telling you to leave, I should have reassured you that you did nothing wrong and talked to you about how I was feeling.” I sigh and rub my forehead. “I was okay with everything at first. I don’t know what happened after. It’s like a fog lifted and I realized…” I trail off, staring at the tabletop, trying to find the right words to explain.

“You felt like you betrayed them,” he says, making me look back up at him.

I nod, biting my lip. Linda brings me my coffee and I thank her before she leaves us alone again.

“I know my alphas. They’d have wanted me to move on, find happiness, but that’s easier said than done. I’m healing finally, and it’s mostly thanks to you, Forde,” I say, tears forming in my eyes as I smile at him. “You are… an amazing man. You’re caring and understanding and patient. My alphas would have loved you, if only because of how you handle me like I’m something precious. That was kind of their thing,” I chuckle, sniffling, and the right side of his lips tilt upwards just slightly.

“You would be so easy to fall in love with, and to be honest, that scares me.Youterrify me because for the first time since I lost them, I feel something when I’m with you. But I’m broken, Forde. Losing them shredded my soul, and the thought of loving anyone else and going through that again is why I told myself I wouldn’t ever bond with anyone else. And then you walked through my door. Showed up and pushed me to leave my house, to work on healing instead of giving up. And I can envision you in my future at some point. How can I not feel guilty for these feelings that you bring out in me when they’ve only been gone for such a short time?” I whisper, voicing the thoughts I’ve had playing on repeat in my head since my weekend away.

I hadn’t planned to voice them, but Forde seems to bring my thoughts to the forefront and pull them right out of me any time I’m with him. He’s too easy to talk to, to open up to. I feel like I can tell him anything, and he will always listen with an open mind and heart, never judging me. The more I’m with him, the more certain I am that he’s an angel sent straight from my alphas.

Forde reaches across the table and gently nudges my chin up so I’m looking directly at him. More tears fill my eyes as I look into his pretty violet ones. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, and I can believe it when I look into Forde’s. His soul is pure, a bright light lit within him that shines outwardly for everyone to see.

I tilt my head, and his hand moves to my cheek, cupping it. I sigh and close my eyes at the touch because it just feels so damn good. My hand comes up to cover the back of his, holding him there.

“Can I speak now?” he asks, and my eyes fly open to see a teasing smile on his lips and mirth dancing in his eyes.

I smile back at him, still not letting go of his hand.

“Yeah, I guess,” I tease back.

He huffs out a laugh while one of his fingers tickles my cheekbone.

“That guilt only shows how much you loved them. I should have said no, but I’m a selfish alpha. Selfish because, even knowing that you’re still grieving for them, I want you. You might be broken, Ramsey, but youarepulling your pieces back together. You are an incredible woman, an amazing omega, and when I look at you, I don’t see your brokenness. I see the woman you can be, given time. Already, you’re smiling again. You’re talking about your pain. If anything, I admire you. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I’m proud of you for not giving up. For getting yourself up every day and going on. Every time I see you smile or hear you laugh, my heart beats faster. I’m not asking you for anything more than your continued friendship right now. I know you’re not ready for anything more. But I hope when you are ready, you’ll give me a chance to show you that you can love again. Life is always going to be uncertain. None of us know how much time we have left here, but I know I want to make the most of every moment I still have. I don’t need a perfect omega, Ramsey. I just need you.”

He swipes away a tear that escapes my eye with his thumb and my heart skips a beat. He never broke eye contact with me when he said all of that. Not once.

Forde was unexpected, and yet, he’s made things for me so much easier. The pain isn’t as unbearable when he’ s around. I can breathe when I’m with him, the weight of the world seeming just a little less suffocating. He’s been everything I’ve needed, but exactly what I didn’t want.

It’s too late now, though. I’ve grown attached to the behemoth of an alpha that treats me like I’m made of glass, but also pushes me to get better. Tobebetter.

“I missed you,” I whisper, my lips trembling.

He grins, those dimples of his peeking out.

“I missed you, too, Baby Doll. Now, tell me about your weekend with Jillian,” he says, rubbing my cheek one more time with his fingers before pulling back and getting comfortable.

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