Page 28 of Broken Bonds

“Gentlemen, I hate to be such a terrible host, but I’m tired suddenly. I think I’ll go take a nap. Jilly can talk to you about the guys if you’d like some stories. I’m sure she’s got plenty after all these years.”

“Rams—” Jilly starts to say something, looking up at me with furrowed brows from her place on the couch, but I interrupt her.

“You should tell them about when they were building your cottage and the frame nearly collapsed while you were in there because they forgot to stabilize it.” I force out a chuckle before looking at the alphas.

“It was nice to meet you all,” I say as kindly as I can, avoiding looking at Link again for too long.

Finally, I turn and escape back to my chosen room.

That’s what I get for being so curious. Should have stayed in bed. It’s safer here.

I carefully tuck myself in under the covers, curling up into a ball.

Each and every tear I have shed has taken its toll on me and I’m so exhausted from all the crying. A dull ache has returned at the base of my skull, and I can feel the pressure of it throbbing behind my eyes.

I suspect those alphas won’t be leaving anytime soon, and that’s the last thing I need with everything else I’m already dealing with.

ChapterFive

RAMSEY

Today is the day.

The day I witness the most important people in my life descend into their eternal graves, where they’ll be until they decompose and are gone forever.

Despite the bright sun, these are the thoughts that plague me right now. My mind is muddled, full of unwanted and miserable thoughts, and no matter how hard I try to push them away, they remain.

I’m sitting on the edge of the bed in my underwear, eyes unfocused, looking out the window and not really seeing anything. All my tears have been shed this morning, leaving my skin feeling stiff and dry, and my eyes swollen and red. There’s a void that’s swallowing me up, despite Jillian’s desperate pleas for me to snap out of it.

She had a therapist come out yesterday, but I didn’t move or utter a word, regardless of the poor woman’s valiant attempts. She put a card near my bed and said to call her when I’m ready. My eyes stayed glued to the window, barely realizing when she left.

The dress I picked out is clutched in my hand, getting more and more crumpled the longer I keep it in my grasp.

How can anyone prepare themselves for something like this? How do you get past it? How do you go on?

“Ramsey?” Jillian calls softly. “It’s almost time. Do you need help with anything?”

My throat constricts, preventing me from getting any words out, so I shake my head. I hear her steps retreat after several seconds and my shoulders droop. My nose stings like I’m struggling not to cry, but there’s nothing left. I feel hollow, completely out of touch with my own reality.

Almost robotically, I slip the deep blue, long-sleeved maxi dress over my head and let it fall over my body. Little constellations adorn the hem and the band underneath my breasts. Afterward, I slip my feet into a soft pair of black flats and grab my jean jacket from my closet.

I take one last quick look at myself in the mirror when I’m finished. The dark circles underneath my eyes make my usually vibrant green eyes look dim. A hollowness echoes out of them that scares even me, and I quickly glance away from my dismal appearance, exiting the room for the first time in days. I take shaky breaths as I walk down the hallway, a deep, grateful breath escaping me when I see the door to our room is blissfully closed.

I find Jillian in the kitchen, a cup of coffee already prepared for me beside a plate of eggs and bacon, while she quickly cleans up. I can see it for what it is. She’s trying to keep her mind occupied so that she won’t have to think about what lies ahead of us.

To take some of her stress away, I sit down at the counter and eat the food she made me without complaint or her begging me to. With each bite I take, I can see more of Jillian’s tension melting away.

My heart aches as I realize how hard I’ve been on her because of my grief. She’s also struggling while trying to keep me going and taking care of me at the same time. Jillian loved my guys, too, and it’s like I forgot that while I locked myself away to drown.

We became her family all those years ago, my alphas taking on the role of brothers she never had, and she and I like sisters. Like us, Jillian had no one.

A lonely beta woman whose parents had passed right after she turned eighteen. After that night with those alphas, my guys worked hard to earn her trust, to show her she was safe around them. And she did slowly begin to believe them. And when she did, it was like she had always been here.

She and Rule ribbed each other relentlessly, and Ollie was always finding some new tech thing to geek out over with her. Lake was always ready to play whatever new game she’d found to kick their asses at, and she and Van had their days where they’d go out and fish and just enjoy the silence.

I felt no threat from Jilly because I knew her intentions were pure. And I trusted my alphas, of course. Being family doesn’t always require a biological connection. Some of us have to create our own family, and that’s exactly what we did.

I shift my plate away and take a hold of my cup of coffee when I’m finished. Jillian snatches up the empty plate, shooting me an appreciative smile that I try to return. She puts it in the dishwasher, then turns and finally looks me over.

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