Page 12 of Broken Bonds

The alpha glances at me with a perplexed look, almost as if she’s questioning why someone had come. Or questioning why I’m the one that came? Maybe I’m just seeing things.

Maybe this isn’t something I had to do, but it feels like it is. I need to see them. To really know this is it. That they’re truly gone from this world.

Ultimately, she lets us through and leads us into an open room filled with large metal beds, four of them filled and covered in white sheets.

The sharp scent of antiseptic and death is almost overwhelming in this room.

Despair seems to fill every corner.

The air in here is so thick with emotion that I can almost taste the heartache of all those who have walked in here before me searching for a family member or friend. I do my best to keep my composure at the sight of those four beds, but it’s not an easy feat.

The alpha walks to one and stands at the side, waiting.

“Whenever you’re ready, Omega Daniels.”

It takes longer than I’d like to admit for me to walk over to that first bed. With some effort, I eventually manage to get my feet moving and stand in front of her, our eyes connecting.

She feels sorry for me. I’m sure she can scent the devastation rolling off me in waves. She’s also concerned about my state of mind and questioning whether she should really show the clearly distressed, pregnant omegaallfourof her dead mates and tell her how they died.

I won’t change my mind, though, no matter what she says or tries, and I think she must see that determination in me. I need to see them before they’re truly gone from me forever.

When I feel like I have myself under control, I nod my head in assent. I don’t look immediately when she lifts the sheet, but I hear Jillian gasp behind me and catch her turning away from the corner of my eye. I swallow, the little saliva in my mouth feeling thick and making it difficult.

When I eventually lower my eyes, I can’t stop the weak whine that comes out of me. It’s full of pain and agony, echoing around the near empty room.

I can try to lock this all up as best as I can, but it’s going to come out no matter what. Fighting it will only prolong the inevitable.

It’s going to consume me, this grief.

Rule.

My beautiful Rule is laid out in front of me. Everything below his neck is still covered by the sheet. His eyes are shut, and a bruise is clearly visible on the side of his head, near his temple. Apart from the bruise, there’s nothing else showing he’s been injured. He looks like he’s sleeping, peaceful. It’s the change in his skin. How it’s gone from a lovely olive tone to a ghastly gray. It’s how his lips have gone from dusky rose to an icy blue. How his inky black hair hangs down his forehead, not styled in its usual way.

It seems I haven’t fully exhausted my ability to cry. My heart aches for him to open his eyes and gaze at me with those pretty baby blues.

He’s always been so... larger than life. His smile was always so contagious from the very beginning. Seeing him laying here, so fragile looking and his spark snuffed out, is more difficult than I ever could have imagined. I press my forehead against his and watch as my tears fall onto his cold face, running down his cheeks.

“How did he die?” I ask on a pained whisper.

She clears her throat and I hear her feet shuffling, but don’t move from my spot. “Blunt force trauma to the head. He was gone instantly and felt nothing. I know it’s not much, but it’s like he just went to sleep,” the alpha tells me softly.

That should make me feel better, and maybe it will later, but right now everything just hurts.

How can I possibly do this three more times?

I know they won’t all look as good as Rule does, all things considered. I’m terrified, depleted of energy, and completely exhausted, both mentally and physically after the past twenty-four hours. I just want to lie down and never get up.

I press my lips against Rule’s forehead, giving him a gentle kiss, and then I stand up again, attempting to put on a brave face. I ask the alpha —Laurie according to her nametag— to leave him uncovered. I’ll see them all together like they should be.

She relents and steps over to the next table.

I take a deep breath and nod once more. This time I watch as she pulls the sheet back. My heart tightens when I see Van and a sob escapes me. His face has suffered considerably more damage when compared to Rule’s. There’s a gash on the top of his head and various cuts on his cheeks and forehead. His skin is mottled in some spots along his cheek and the tops of his shoulders, and his nose is bent at an odd angle.

I long for him to glance at me with those light green eyes of his. I want to see them brimming with love one more time.

Van was the brooder of our ragtag bunch, but he always had a smile for me.

They had to shave the spot where the gash is, cutting the pretty copper locks that normally hang in waves to his shoulders. He’d hate that there’s a chunk of his hair missing. I was always teasing him about how his hair would eventually be longer than mine. I shudder to think what the rest of his body must look like if his face is this bad.

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