Once in the driver’s seat, I stare down at the four letters sitting in my lap. Each one has each of their distinct handwriting with my name scrawled across the front. I stuff Van and Lake’s in the glove box, not yet ready to read what they have to say when I’m so upset with them.
My hands tremble as I go for Ollie’s first.
He was my first true love. The first alpha that I knew for certain was mine. It’s only right that I read his letter first.
I carefully open the envelope that he’s neatly penned my name across and pull the letter free. I’m slow to unfold it, my heart beating erratically in my chest.When I see his graceful handwriting etched across the page, a familiar warmth takes hold of me, and my eyes prick with impending tears that I hold at bay so I can read what he left for me.
Rosebud,
If you’re reading this, then that means I’m no longer here with you. I’m sorry for that. I can only hope that this isn’t the only letter you’ve received and that we’ve had many more years together in our happy bubble.
When we found out about the triplets, we all agreed that we wanted to ensure the four of you are always taken care of and that you have no issues should something ever happen to one, or gods forbid, all of us.
It was my idea to write you these letters to be left with Mr. Roberts.
Our plan is to add one letter from each of us every year, and they will stay in Mr. Roberts’ care until they’re needed. Should anything happen, you’ll have an entire stack of letters from all of us.
That’s my wish, anyway.
Hopefully, nothing happens, though, and you never have to read these.
I really hope you never have to read these, Rosebud.
It’s probably my biggest fear. That we’ll leave you all alone.
On the off chance that you are reading this, I want you to know how much I love you. I have loved you from the first moment I caught sight of you in the dining hall at AOA all those years ago. My love for you has only grown as the years have passed, and I’m grateful every day that the gods blessed me with an omega such as you.
Thank you for loving me. For seeing me that day and accepting me without a single thought. I knew in that moment I’d do anything in my power to always ensure your happiness until my last breath. I hope I’ve shown you just how much you mean to me in the last decade.
I pray we get to grow old with each other, but if we don’t, please live.
Don’t lose yourself in the grief of losing me.
Find a purpose in life and hold onto it.
Raise our babies to be as wonderful human beings as you are.
Continue to love.
I know you well enough to know you probably just rolled your eyes at that. Maybe scoffed a bit. But I mean it, Rams.
Don’t turn your back on love. You have so much of it inside of you to give. I know you can find someone just as deserving and worthy of your love that will heal whatever I have broken inside of you.
I know you might be hurting right now. Maybe you even feel like you’re dying. But you’ll persevere. I know you can. You’re my strong girl, and you will fight to keep going for our babies. Just between you and me, they’re probably mine, so you’ll at least see me again in them, right?
Did that make you smile? I hope it did. I can imagine your distress and pain, the dark circles around your eyes, and it breaks my damn heart, sweet girl.
Keep pushing forward. For me, Rosebud?
We’ll be together again. I have that to believe in, no matter what. I know the rest of you have never believed much in the afterlife, but I do, and I know that we’ll all be together in our perfect paradise when the time is right.
Until then, know that no matter where I am in the universe, I’m always watching over you.
I love you.
Yours always, Ollie.
I sniffle, a few tears escaping, but it’s not a full-on torrential downpour, so that’s an improvement.