Page 29 of Broken Bonds

“You look like shit, babe,” she sighs, scrunching her nose.

I snort, glad I’d already swallowed my coffee, otherwise it’d be spraying out of my nose.

Ouch.

“Yeah, well, back at ya,” I choke out with a watery laugh, placing my cup down.

She gives me a watery smile back before exhaling a deep breath.

“You ready for this?”

“No, but I don’t have much of a choice, now do I?” I say with a wry grin.

“No, I guess not,” she mumbles.

I chew on the inside of my cheek and glare down at the countertop.

“I need you to be patient with me, even when I know it’s killing you. Just promise me you’ll be by my side through all of this, and I know I have a shot at making it,” I finally tell her, looking up into her eyes.

She moves to stand in front of me, gripping my hands in hers. Our foreheads rest together and our eyes close.

“To the end, Rams. You’ll always have me by your side. We’ll get through this. Together,” she promises.

I hope she’s right.

* * *

It was a few days after they died that Jillian had told me a lawyer had tried to contact me. Apparently, my alphas did set up contingencies in case something happened. I just didn’t know about them.

They requested there be no visitation at the event of their deaths, and frankly, I’m grateful for it. I don’t think I could handle seeing their bodies again. Not after that day in the morgue. I’ve been having terrible nightmares some nights since that trip.

The cemetery I chose is close to our home, a small plot under a giant oak tree. It’s tucked away from the other graves, well maintained and with plenty of privacy. I’m already planning to put a bench out here eventually for when I visit.

Cars are lined up along the side of the road as everyone heads up the walkway, the small cemetery looking so full.

So many people.

Since moving here, we’ve made so many friends who genuinely care for us and deeply respected my alphas, like family. Whenever anyone in town needed help, the guys and I were always there, ready to lend a hand. We’ve spent time with the elderly and helped them do general maintenance and upkeep of their houses when necessary or provided them with companionship. We volunteered as often as possible from the get-go because we really wanted to embrace the closeness of a tightknit community who all seemed to care for one another.

Van volunteered to coach the local little league baseball team, while Lake lent a hand to the high school basketball coach when he had the time. Rule was taking part in the revitalization of the older parts of Crystalwood, clearing up the old stores downtown and restoring them. Assisting the high school cheerleading squad was something I had been doing until I became pregnant and had to stop until the babies arrive. Lastly, Ollie was an outstanding high school guidance counselor, the best the school had ever known, really able to connect with teenagers and get them to open up to him.

Everyone is here for them, and by extension, me, lending me their support and wanting to give them a proper send-off with a heck of a goodbye. They’d certainly get a kick out of so many people showing up just for them. I’m sure Rule or Van would have something sarcastic to say like, “All this for little ol’ us? You shouldn’t have,” and then I’d probably want to smack whichever of them said it upside the head like naughty children.

When Jillian and I reach the top of the walkway and I’m faced with the four caskets side by side, my legs begin to feel unsteady. I grasp Jillian’s hand harder, and a whimper rises in my throat, but I quickly keep it in and nearly choke on it.

Fuck.

I can’t do this.

“You can. I’m right here. I’ve got you,” Jillian whispers brokenly, and I realize I must have said that out loud instead of in my head like I’d thought.

I take a deep breath, steeling myself, and then put one foot in front of the other. I keep my eyes on the people surrounding us and curb the temptation to look at those boxes again until I’m seated.

Sympathetic looks greet me on nearly every face I see. Some have tears, some just downtrodden expressions. Everyone here loved my alphas, though.

I recognize them all.

The kids from the baseball team.

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