Page 104 of Magic Forsaken

I recoiled. Almost unconsciously, my arms wrapped around my torso, as if already trying to hide from the possibility of being seen. “I can’t. You know why.”

“Maybe it’s time to try.”

Cutting words hit my tongue, but I bit them back. My fears were looking for someone to hurt, and I wasn’t going to let it be Kes.

“Raine, tell me this.” She continued to hold my gaze with steady, clear gray eyes. “If it was just you, if you didn’t have anyone else depending on you, would you stay?”

What would I choose if it was just me?

Blake and his offer of family, with people who already understood what we’d been through and would never judge us for our differences? All I would have to do to earn their trust was betray those who’d chosen to trustme—those who’d given me a chance when they had no reason to.

Or would I choose to honor my commitment to Callum and his cause? I’d promised Kira I would protect him, with no idea how much that promise might end up costing me. He’d promised to protect me too, but he’d already broken his word, even if he didn’t know it.

It was a hellish decision to be forced to make, but even so, my heart knew the answer. Knew which path I would walk—the only path I could take without betraying myself. Right or wrong, my convictions were firm, and I could not throw them aside.

“In the end, I don’t know if I would stay.” That answer mattered, but it was not the biggest question I was facing. “I do know that Iwouldfight my battles differently if it were only my own life at stake, but it doesn’t help to think that way. We’re family now, and I don’t regret that, but it means I don’t make decisions without thinking of everyone.”

“I appreciate that you’ve been thinking of us,” Kes said gently. “But now it’s time toaskus.”

My eyes stung, and a lump formed in my throat as I realized what she was saying. “Have I…” I sat down heavily on the bed. “Crap, Kes, I’m so sorry.”

She’d been so quiet—almost catatonic when we first escaped. Almost as if she were dead inside. She’d needed me to remind her to eat and to sleep. But maybe I’d gone too far, and failed to recognize when she didn’t need me directing her life anymore.

“No, that’s not what I meant.” She looked as if she knew what direction my thoughts had taken. “We would be dead without you, and no one is more grateful than me. But as much as you look out for us, we also want to look out for you. Because you’re right—we’re family, and that means we’re all here for each other. And we don’t just want to be safe… we want you to be happy.”

“I won’t accept happiness at the cost of your safety,” I said fiercely. “That’s not how it works.”

“But isn’t it worth taking a chance to see if we can have both?”

It was the chances I’d taken that had landed me here. I’d taken a chance on a grumpy, terrifying, and somehow soft-hearted dragon, believing that he might have the power to change our future.

“And what if I’m wrong? What if I fail?” How could I risk that? How could I take such an insane gamble with all our lives?

“We can’t keep making decisions out of fear,” Kes insisted. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, and neither do you. But I do know that all of us feel more alive now than we have in as long as I can remember. You actuallylikewaking up in the morning. You smile. You tease people. Logan… it’s like he’s come back from the dead. Knowing he has someone who can help him with his power is already working miracles. And Ari? She needs the freedom to explore, surrounded by a community of people who can catch her if she falls. We won’t find those things on the road.”

I went silent for a moment, as I tried to figure out exactly what she was trying to tell me.

“You don’t want to run.”

“I don’t,” she said softly. “I’m sorry.”

But she had no idea what was coming. “As of tomorrow, they may be able to legally deport you to the fae court,” I informed her bluntly. “Anyone who possesses or uses stolen magic will face prison or exile—for no less thantwenty years. If we stay?”I gestured to the kids asleep in their bunks. “That could be all of us. They won’t have a choice.”

And I wouldn’t want to ask them to choose. Callum’s heart beat for rules and order. That was how he kept his people safe. If I stayed, I would be forcing him into an impossible situation. One where he couldn’t both keep his promise to protect me and uphold the laws he’d worked so hard to create.

“Or,” Kes replied, still maddeningly calm, “we could be the ones to show them that their laws are incomplete. That there are victims that still need to be protected. Before it’s too late.”

She was so much braver than I was. So much stronger. But could I really do this? Could I step out and tell the truth, hoping that strangers would choose justice over fear?

“I’ll understand if you still want to go,” she said. “But I think we should ask the kids what they want. Tell them the truth and let them help decide.”

They were six and thirteen. Not really old enough to understand the consequences of this decision. But who was I to think I had the right to decide that for them? To set the course of their future when I could barely manage to keep us all alive?

“Okay,” I said hoarsely. “When they wake up, we can talk it over.”

“We’re awake.” Logan’s voice cracked as he spoke up out of the darkness. “We aren’t babies, Raine.”

They should be. They should have had the chance to be children—happy, innocent, and protected. Not running for their lives. But that wasn’t the world we lived in. Maybe, instead of reaching for an ideal that was forever out of our reach, it was time to make the best of what we did have. Take this magic and see it as a gift. Take our broken pasts and shape them into a different future.

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