Page 63 of The Uncrowned Prince

He could not cover this with witty barbs or flirtatious laughter. Could not pretend that it meant nothing to him.

“No.”

His eyes flew open. Karreya remained on her knees in front of him, her golden gaze fierce and direct. “We will not leave. Tell us what is wrong. What are you afraid of?”

What was he afraid of? Nothing. He could not be afraid ever again, because the thing he had feared for so long had already happened.

A laugh escaped him, and then he could not stop laughing. He laughed until tears leaked from his eyes, until his bruised side ached unbearably, and until he heard the sound of someone else crying.

Who was crying?

He looked around. There was Senaya, watching him with a cautious, hooded gaze. Emmerick, displaying only the unstinting compassion he showed to everyone. Karreya, unreadable, and Boden… with tears running down his cheeks.

Boden, who had already lost everything, was crying.

“Boden, it’s all right,” he said hoarsely. “I’m all right, truly. Don’t… not for me,” and a moment later, the boy hurled himself into Vaniell’s arms. And as he hugged the boy he’d come to care about, his laughter turned to grief, and his own tears streamed silently down his face. Mourning for his mother, for his brother, for the people of Farhall, Eddris, and Iria. For everyone who had lost those they loved and somehow survived. Somehow kept going despite their pain.

Boden, too, had lost his parents. Knew what it was like to feel abandoned. But he was still here. Still surviving, still protecting those smaller than himself.

Emmerick had lost everything but his life, and he still gave his services away to those who could not pay. Karreya had lost her mother and been abandoned by her father, and still she agreed to help him. And Senaya had spoken of losing everyone she cared about.

Yes, he could give up and admit that he’d been beaten. Hide in this warehouse forever as Niell and never acknowledge his losses. Perhaps he could even convince Karreya to stay with him.

But that would make him a coward. And as badly as he wanted to embrace that cowardice and hide from the pain that he knew was yet to come…

He could not. Not without leaving others like Boden, Emmerick, and Karreya to die. Not without turning his back on every sacrifice that had already been made. Allera and Valeric. Evaraine and Iandred. Both of the men who had been his father, and now his mother. Who else was left to avenge them?

What more did he have to lose?

No matter how much pain he must endure, no matter what came, he could not lie down and quit. Even if that meant facing his final memories of the night before.

“I’m all right,” he repeated quietly, taking Boden by the shoulders and pulling back to look the boy in the eye. “I swear it. I’m not going to die, and I’m not going to leave you. Do you understand?”

The boy swiped at his face with his sleeves before nodding.

Vaniell ruffled his hair and offered a crooked smile. “Though I may shock you a little. Just promise you won’t be too angry? And that you can keep everything you hear today to yourself?”

Boden scoffed. “I’m no tale bearer, Master Niell. Not even if they torture me.”

“Good lad.” Vaniell breathed in deeply, holding it for a moment before letting it out and lifting his eyes to Karreya’s. She stood only an arm’s length away, and even though her unreadable mask had returned, she seemed to sense the gravity of the moment and offered him a single nod—a promise to hear him out. To stand by him, no matter which course he took from here.

But she had no idea what was coming—no preparation for the truths he was about to unleash. He would never hold her to a promise made in ignorance of his true identity or his goals. She was too brilliant, too alive, too full of hope and potential. She could still escape the coming darkness and return home. As much as he wanted her stubborn warmth at his side, it would be unimaginably selfish.

“I suppose all of you deserve to hear what I have to say.” He remained seated, his gaze fixed on the floor in front of him. He wasn’t sure he had the strength to stand, or to watch their faces as he told them the truth. “You will not like it. You may even believe I’ve lied to you. But I’ve tried not to. Done my best to be honest, even while protecting you from the ugliness of my family and my past. But I don’t think I can protect you anymore.”

“We never asked for your protection,” Emmerick replied flatly. “Do not insult us by implying that we are loyal to you because of what we stand to gain.”

“I didn’t mean…”

“Just tell us.” Senaya sounded weary, resigned, grieved. As if none of what he said could surprise her. As if she already knew. Given who she was… she probably did.

“My full name is Vaniell. Once, I was known as Prince Vaniell of Garimore, second son of King Melger and Queen Portiana. Since the disinheritance of my elder brother, there are some who might argue that I am heir to the Garimoran throne, but given that the current king has long been plotting my murder, I see no point in claiming the title.”

The room fell utterly silent at his words. Boden’s face had frozen in horror, while Emmerick’s showed no emotion at all. He dared not look at Karreya, not yet.

“I have no position, no wealth, no inheritance but one—I am the only person who seems to know that the real King Melger is dead. Has been dead for nearly eleven years. His life and his face were stolen by a Zulleri mirror mage, who has spent that time plotting to eradicate all other mages in Abreia and bring all five Thrones under his rule.”

For the first time, Karreya jerked as if in shock, and Senaya…

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