Page 47 of The Warrior and the Monk

The earl stepped forward, her voice carrying over the noise. “These two men are joined together in matrimony. Beforethemselves, they have called each other husband. Now, before us, they shall demonstrate their love.”

Anders abruptly stepped away from him. Wilder scrambled not to lose his footing. He blinked, unsure what had just occurred. The earl made a gesture, and the warrior who had taken the furs from the cart carried them out, draping them over the altar. Another man followed carrying a bowl of—oil? The earl took from her sleeve a long, thin knife and handed it to Anders, who bowed.

Weapon in hand, he approached Wilder.

What was happening? What was the knife for? This was not a part of any wedding ceremony Wilder recognized. Whatever was happening—or going to happen—was clearly a custom of Anders's people. Wilder knew that something like this might occur, and he'd thought he'd been ready for it, but the glint of the knife's blade unnerved him. Anders would not ever hurt him. But what was happening? There were some who made vows of brotherhood and sisterhood with the mingling of blood—this had to be similar. But he would not offer himself freely into something like that unless he understood—Wilder would be doing both Anders and himself wrong if he did so. There could be no repeats of their early days together.

"Stop," he said, holding up a hand.

A gasp rippled through the audience. Anders stopped mid-stride, his expression one of confusion and heartbreak.

Wilder shook his head. "No, Anders, just—wait. I don't understand." He said it again with his hands.I don't understand.Then he said,I'm scared.

Anders's eyes widened. He placed himself in front of Wilder, hiding him from the crowd with his bulk, and set the knife atop the altar.Tell me what's wrong, he said.

What is happening?

The ceremony,Anders said.

We said our vows. What is happening now? What is the knife for?

For the ceremony.His husband only looked more confused.Wilder—the ceremony. Your people have a ceremony. You said your people have a ceremony. You display your love for each other, as we do.

Wilder repeated,We said our vows. We showed our love for one another. That is the ceremony.

Anders's arms remained at his side. Then, with shaking hands and increasing panic in his eyes, he said,The knife. I will cut the clothes from you. I will make love to you on the altar. Everyone will see how I—He faltered.How much I adore you.

Oh, God.

Wilder stood there, stunned. Oh, God! He hadn't realized. Should he have realized? Had anyone said that? No, no—it had just been ceremony this and ceremony that—Wilder had thought that all weddings, wherever they took place, had to be mostly the same. He never thought that he might be expected to—

"Make love? In front of—everyone?" Wilder whispered. It was too scandalous, too lewd to repeat any louder. The very idea of—of coupling in front of a crowd—though the waiting guests—the audience?—were waiting for exactly that. They had attended expecting exactly that. He shook his head. "Anders, I don't—" He finished with his hands,I did not know.

You did not know,Anders said, looking dazed.Your people don't do this? They do not...

It is a private thing.Wilder didn't know if he had the vocabulary to describe just how private it was to have sex with one's partner.The body is private. Sex is private. To show oneself is shameful.

Anders's expression was one of complete horror. Aghast, he asked,This will shame you?

"No, Anders, I didn't say that—"

We will not do it, Anders declared.

"What?"

His husband looked resolute.I will not shame you.

But the ceremony! Wilder glanced at the crowd, milling about with confusion, and then at the earl, who was gazing at them with concern.

She asked, "Is all well?"

Wilder nodded. "Please, forgive us, we are just—"

"There is nothing to forgive. Take all the time you need. This is part of the ceremony, too. It is to observe a couple, and how well they fit together."

Oh, but he and Anders fit together so well. Sometimes Wilder felt that he had known Anders his whole life. Other times he felt he had not truly lived until Anders stole him away from the monastery. But either way, he could not imagine a day without Anders by his side.

He took one deep breath, and then another. Wilder said,What I know, I like, and what I don't know, you will guide me through.

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