Page 52 of Fake Engaged to the Enemy

I could stay volunteering at the museum, too. I don’t want all the work I’ve done to be for naught. Managing the social media accounts is something that needs to be done consistently.

The biggest problem in all of this is the fact that I don’t have a job.

And, if I’m being honest, I can’t imagine finding a job. A paying job that is.

In a town Sandburrow’s size, there really aren’t a lot of job opportunities. Maybe if I get something that I can do remote work with. Or I could strike out on my own and become freelance.

Another thought occurs to me.

I glance at the ring. If I was George’s wife, I wouldn’t need a paying job. He’s rich enough that we can live off his income. My savings can go into a retirement fund.

Oh, I would need something to fill my time. The museum. I can take my volunteering to full-time, rather than hunting for a job.

I can’t see myself being happy as a homemaker. It’s just not my personality type, unlike someone like Grandma.

If I’m honest, I’m afraid I’m not enough of a homemaker. I know I’ll love my children, but I’m worried that if I don’t want to stay home with them, I’ll just become my mother…

“Are you okay?” Katherina asks me, her gaze concerned. “That was a heavy sigh.”

“I was just thinking.” I shake my head. “Sometimes even what looks like what you want the most is riddled with doubts.”

Katherina’s eyes widen. “Are you going to break things off with George?”

“No,” I quickly say. “Of course not. I was just thinking about kids. George and I want to have kids someday.”

“But?” Katherina twists her hands.

“I’m not sure I’ll be a good mother.” I shake my head. “But it’s not for you to worry about. Being sixteen is hard enough without listening to your sister drone on about things that haven’t happened yet.”

Katherina is quiet but she smiles.

As we continue walking, I carefully discard the whole idea. If I were to stay in Sandburrow, it would not be as George’s wife.

Even if I might be able to benefit the community, even if I might be able to keep busy and have a wonderful life…

I vowed long ago I would never be reliant on another person.

People have a tendency to let you down.

Grandma is the only person I’ve ever been able to rely on. I’m not going to give up my autonomy for another person. Even if that person is as kind and generous as George.

It’s just not in the cards for me.

Besides, our engagement is fake.

It won’t be long before we go our separate ways.

George wouldn’t take it kindly if I told him I suddenly wanted him to support me.

I can just imagine how I’d say it.George, you know how we’re only pretending to be engaged? Well, I’ve decided we’re getting married and I’m going to be your stay-at-home wife. Except I won’t even stay at home.

Nope. That’s not going to happen.

“We should get back to the house,” I say to Katherina. “We both need some breakfast anyway.”

Katherina nods. “Alright. But if you ask me, you’d make a good mom.”

She’s only saying that to be nice.

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