Page 88 of Ho Ho Oh No

Learning his sounds has been an unexpected highlight of our marriage. It’s one of those things I never thought was possible until I experienced it. Before Leo, I didn’t have anyone I knew so completely I could detect differences in simple laughs, hums, or even sighs.

Sawyer raises his palms out, taking a single step backward. Then he grabs the collar of his shirt, jerking it to the side. In one of his voices, he says, “Sheesh. I get no respect.”

Aside from the babies, I’m the only one who doesn’t laugh. Must be from something before my time. Instead of teasing them about being old, I focus on the baby.

The one in my arms.Ahhh!

Before Sawyer heads over to help Sammy get settled with their daughter, he hovers his face over his son’s. “Daddy will be right back, Logan. I love you.” With tenderness, he kisses his forehead and inhales as if trying to absorb the baby’s essence.

My heart melts as I envision the future, with Leo doing something similar to our baby.

Suddenly, I cannot wait to be a mother.

“Is that what you’re naming him?” Leo asks, his voice uncharacteristically shaky.

A quick peek at him confirms he’s choked up with raw emotions.

Sawyer returns to his full height and runs his hands over his mint-colored scrubs. He holds Leo’s stare for a heavy few seconds.

And then Sawyer nods. “Is it okay?”

Leo clears his throat, choking down whatever feelings have been unearthed by the name. I’m dying to ask why they’re reacting this way.

But I don’t. Not yet.

I expect Leo will explain. He fecking better. And soon.

Tick-tock, feckers.

The moment stretches on forfartoo long. Worst of all, I have no idea if Leo’s abrupt change in demeanor is because he’s overcome with happy thoughts about the name or enraged by it.

Curse you, autism. You’ve failed me again.

And he’s making a liar of me since I was just telling the nice readers how I’ve become so attuned to my husband that I can decipher his sounds.

Without warning, Leo lurches to his feet and slams his body into his best friend’s. Their embrace is jarring and strong, and I find myself shying away from them. Without forethought, I hold the baby protectively against my chest.

Will ya look at that? A motherly instinct to protect the baby.

I got this shit.

Between now and my delivery, all I need to do is get over the fear of farting from pushing so hard.

Note to self: no beans or gassy foods for the rest of the pregnancy. Just in case.

The bro hug finally comes to an end. When Leo and Sawyer break apart, they’re both misty-eyed.

That’s it. I can’t take it anymore.“What’s with the name?”

Leo drags his finger under his eyes, drying the pooling moisture. He clears his throat and gives his head a tiny shake. “Logan Bowman was a soldier who served with us. He was our friend. He didn’t...”

When he can’t seem to get the words out, Sawyer takes over. “We lost him in Afghanistan. Some of us made a vow that whoever had a son first would name him in Logan’s honor.”

My sinuses sting. A single whispered word is all I can manage. “Wow.”

Leo and Sawyer exchange shoulder squeezes, then the new father dashes over to his wife and daughter. Madeline and Sammy are absolutely bawling their eyes out.

Without a free hand to wipe my face, tears stream onto my white Frostette shirt. I drop my gaze to little Logan, and a watery smile overtakes my face. “Hi there. You’re named after a great man. I hope you know how fortunate you are. Not all of us can say the same.”

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