Page 78 of Ho Ho Oh No

Kri’s body is frozen in place, but her eyes are honed in on the doctor’s hand hovering by my dick. There’s a tiny curl to her upper lip as she fights back a snarl.

I’d bet my left nut if this woman moved her hand a centimeter closer, Kri would attack.

Need to push that thought away and fast. If I picture her jealously fighting for me, I’m liable to get hard again. And we’ve obviously lost our little shady spot.

Rising to my full height, I offer her a flat palmed wave. “Merry Christmas! The shitter was full.”

Chapter 20

It's tiiime!

SAMMY

My little monsters absolutely need to fuck off. I don’t know how much more I can take. For that matter, how much can my marriage take?

Poor Sawyer. He’s been such a trooper. Too bad he’s stuck with a raging mad woman like me.

Well, bad for him. Good for me.

I can’t imagine anyone else putting up with my whiplash-inducing mood swings and loving me through them the way he has.Throughout the night, I’ve experienced every emotion at incalculable levels as I came to grips with the fact that I’ve likely been in labor since yesterday.

In the two hours since we left the party, I’ve been slap-happy, angry as Eric Cartman, nervous as Piglet,and sappy as a maple tree.

Fortunately, my mood seems to be leveling out, thanks to the epidural.

Speaking of which, having limited sensation in my lower body isn’t as unsettling as I expected. Initially, I was leaning toward other pain management options simply due to the fear of feeling paralyzed. But after one round of Demerol, which was lovely initially, the pain broke through with a vengeance. Ichanged my tune about the epidural pretty damn fast, and I’m glad I did. They said I’d be shit out of luck if I didn’t get it soon, considering how fast my labor was progressing.

About a half hour later, it kicked in. Now, we’re chilling.

This stuff is awesome. A million stars.

Hell, I didn’t even know my water broke. I was lying in a puddle of amniotic fluid with soaking wet socks and was none the wiser until the doctor came in for a dilation check.The nurses cleaned me up and changed the bedding. Now we’re waiting until I’m the rest of the way dilated before I start pushing.

We’ve decided Mom and Sue will stay with me and Sawyer when it’s time for the actual birth. Leo and Big Al will step out for that part. This hospital has large labor and delivery rooms, so we’ve got space for my entire support team.

The nurse turned the lights down on her way out a few minutes ago, providing a relaxing ambiance. A tiny Christmas tree is on a shelf in the corner of the room under the window. It gives off a colorful glow that reminds me of the decorations Lettie worked so hard on at Redleg.

Sawyer’s oddly fascinated with the fetal monitor. He tells me when I’m having contractions because other than some pressure, I barely notice them.

Sadly, that’s given me time to focus on everything else.

Twins.Fucking twins.

That’s twice the chance I’ll fuck up. Twice the irreparable harm I might cause.

And birthing twins is dangerous. What if I don’t make it, and Sawyer has to raise them on his own? After I had that lovely thought, I got foolishly angry at Sawyer since, in my rapidly unfolding vision, he remarried.

You don’t need to tell me how irrational that was. I’m well aware.

My jealousy monster was hanging out with my rage monster, and they decided to make me look certifiable. I suspect they were still high on the IV pain meds from earlier.

Sawyer tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear and kisses my forehead. “Can I join you for some cuddles?”

“Mmm. Yes, please.”

My love well could use a top-off. At least I’ll be able to feel his skin on my upper body.

Beaming, I nod eagerly and attempt to shift to the side of the bed. Alas, I’m numb from the waist down, so I move exactly zero inches. “Sorry. My legs are concrete poles.”

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