Page 55 of Ho Ho Oh No

Not tonight, though.

Mom glances down at her costume, then rolls her eyes and scoffs. The response is so uncharacteristic of her that I almost drown in my punch.

“It’s Alan’s prerogative to have a boring, cliché costume. As for me? Life’s too short to be a lame duck. I’m entering mynew year, new meera a bit early.”

My head kicks back at her lackadaisical attitude. “Alrighty then.” I blink free of the shock and sweep my gaze over her costume. “What are you dressed as? I can tell it’s... something.”

Decked out in a pink velour tracksuit and a flashy gold necklace, she holds a tiny stuffed dog wearing a red feather boa around its neck. For clarity, it’s a children’s stuffed animal thing, not a taxidermic canine.

“You don’t recognize it?” She smacks her free hand on her chest, then dances her gaze across the room until it lands on Kri, Mia, and Lettie, who are wearing matching outfits. “Same movie as their costumes.”

I yo-yo my gaze between the girls and my mother a half-dozen times, nothing coming to mind. Truth be told, I didn’t know the ladies were dressed as characters from a movie.

Mom lifts her brows expectantly, raising them higher with each of my clueless glances.

The ladies are wearing cute little Santa dresses, Santa hats, black boots, and long black gloves. In contrast, my mother looks like she’s spent the day sipping martinis at the country club circa 1995.

“I surrender.”

She holds the fake dog by her cheek and makes comical duck lips. “I’m not a regular mom. I’m acoolmom.”

Sue’s angelic laugh trills from beside me, and she pulses her fingers on my bicep. “I get it. Nice one, Maddie.”

I don’t.

Before I’m able to ask for clarification, my mother playfully chides Sue.“How many times do I need to ask you to call meMom? This is getting silly, dear.”

Sue tucks herself closer to my side. “Sorry. Just a mental block. It isn’t personal. I promise.”

My ever-present need to defend and protect my wife sparks to life in my gut, but I quash it. Sue can handle my mother.

Mom must sense that she’s made Sue uncomfortable and immediately course corrects. “I know it’s not, Susie Q.” Warmth and adoration paint her features as her sights linger on Sue’s growing stomach. The swaths of white sparkling fabric accentuate the roundness. “You look stunning, by the way. Beautiful, glowing, adorable, radiant, and all the other lovely adjectives. No wonder my son is so in love with you. You’re as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside.”

With her free hand, Sue physically bats away the praise as if Mom threw the words at her face. “Oh, stop. I am not. I look ridiculous. Feel like a blob in this.”

Fucking hell. There she goes again.

So much for the talk we had earlier today. One comment about the baby or her figure throws her right back into self-loathing. Knowing she feels this way has me spitting nails. My mother is right. Sue’s as beautiful as can be. Why can’t she see it?

Then again... perhaps it’s not about her figure at all.

I kiss the top of Sue’s head, carefully avoiding the tiny black top hat that completes her preciousFrostettethe snowwoman costume. “Angel, you’re gorgeous in anything you wear. Knock that off.”

Despite how bothered I am by Sue’s self-disparaging sentiment, my mother’s outrage makes me look like I didn’t even notice it.

With her jaw on her chest, Mom stomps two short steps forward, parking herself directly in front of my wife. “Angelica Sue Mason, donotlet me hear you talk that way about your beautiful body again. You are growing a life. Don’tyou know what a miracle that is? You’ve been given an amazing gift.”

Sue’s chin quivers, and she blurts out, “It sure as St. Paddy doesn’t feel like a gift. It’s awful.” As soon as the words pass her sparkly, silver-painted lips, she releases my arm and flings both hands over her mouth.

Beating me to the punch, my mother jumps in to demonstrate the compassion she’s shown to everyone for my entire life. “Oh, my dear sweet girl.” Mom aligns their faces, flashing her trademark smile. The one radiating love and understanding. “Can we go have a talk? Just us girls?”

As Sue looks up at me with inquisitive brows, her blue eyes sparkle with unshed tears. My chest grows tight, the tension spreading to my neck and jaw.

“Go on, angel.” I give her an encouraging wink. “I won’t let them do any reindeer games without you.”

Her face softens minutely, a grin plucking at the edge of her mouth. “Thanks, Leo. I love you.”

Before she leaves with my mother, Sue rises on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. I turn at the last second, capturing her lips instead.

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