Page 31 of Ho Ho Oh No

Elf prosthetics

One day last month, he started out shopping for stretch mark creams, then detoured into men’s anti-aging serums. He ended up ordering a deluxe kit from Orveda for just shy of a thousand bucks. No way any other guys at Redleg would be caught dead buying that. It explains a lot about his soft hands and glowing skin, though.

Eventually, he circled back to the cream for Sammy which prompted the rabbit hole tumbling to begin with.

And don’t give me any shit for checking up on him. I found it during my routine duties. He did it on the company internet from his Redleg PC. It’s not like he was trying to hide it, not that I’d expect him to.

Aaron knocks softly at the door right as I click the power button on the television remote. Mrs. Klein flinches, but her face remains serene when she locks her gaze on me.It’s as if she trusts me to keep her safe. Or perhaps that’s my wishful thinking.

Either way, I’ll take it. A win is a win, regardless of whether it’s real or imaginary.

And that’s what helps me sleep at night.

Charlotte gives me a sly grin before creeping toward the door.

Oh hell no.She isn’t going to be opening any doors around here. Not after she once let the FBI mole right inside, practically placing me on Lisa’s diabolical serving platter. Hard pass on Mrs. Klein’s door-opening privileges. They’ve been permanently revoked.

All the doors and windows in this place now only open when the code is entered, aside from the emergency fail-safe latch, which she knows nothing about. We aren’t taking any chances when it comes to her safety and ours.

Swift as a fox, I dart around her. Once at the door, I cup my hand over the keypad so she can’t see the code. Although I doubt she’d be able to remember it, I’m not risking it.

I unlock and open the door for Aaron. “Hey, come on in.”

His stoic expression brightens when he peeks over my shoulder at Cal’s mother. “Hey there, Mama Klein. How are you doing today?”

She mumbles through a semblance of a reply, too quiet for me to pick out the words. Verbal greeting aside, she positively beams at Aaron. Her smile twinkles brighter than all the lights on the Christmas tree.

Aaron’s taken a shine to her since learning about her diagnosis. He’s our primary backup guard. And since we don’t sleep at Redleg like most of our peers, he’s here often. He’s so gentle and patient with her. It warms my heart.

“I’ll go check on Klein,” I tell Aaron, widening my eyes at him and then flashing them at Charlotte.

He winks, confirming he understood the unspoken request to watch over her.

I dash into the bedroom, coming to an abrupt stop at the doorway. If I had kept walking, I’d have tripped over my tongue.

Although he’s turned away from me, I see Cal’s full reflection in the mirror. This man is dripping with swagger, wearing a three-piece suit, wing-tipped oxford shoes, and a narrow-brimmed fedora.

All I can manage to project is one word, and it’s a pathetic, breathy excuse for speaking. “Cal.”

He spins on his heel, adjusts the brim of his hat, and winks.

And now I need new panties.

I’m unsure how it happened, but someone seems to have closed the door behind me. And locked it. Odd.

“What are you doing?” he asks, attempting to peek around me to where my hand still lingers on the doorknob.

Next thing I know, I fall to my knees. Another mystery.

He strides over to me, smoldering at me like sex in a suit. “Tiger, get off the floor.”

I don’t answer because I can’t. Words have abandoned me, thankfully making room for the cock Ineedin my mouth.

Once stopped in front of me, he extends his hand. However, I ignore it in favor of reaching for the fly of his pressed dress slacks.

Having perfected the fine art of freeing his enormous cock from his pants in record time, I’ve got him out and in my hand by the time he realizes I rejected his offer to help me off the carpet.

“Mia, what the fuck are you do—”His objection is halted when I squeeze him from root to tip. “Mmm. Okay. I guess you approve of my costume.”

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