Page 97 of Ho Ho Oh No

She nibbles at the corner of her mouth, shifting from toe to toe. She then tosses a look over one shoulder and the other as if looking for hospital personnel.

To save her from getting more worked up, I step in and save the day for her and Dickie. I’m likely ruining the moment for everyone else.

“Kri, come on.” I make a hacking motion in front of my throat, implying she should cut it out.

“Wow. Leo gave the signal to take him out,” Cort whisper-yells to his wife. “Let’s see how this plays out.”

I narrow my eyes at him, and he looks over his shoulder like he’s trying to spy who I’m threatening with my glare.

Again, I say, this fucking guy.

Don’t tell anyone, but I’ve missed the Amos-holes. Yet another reason why we need to finish off Lenkov so we can get back to attending game nights.

However, we might not be invited back if one of my coworkers kills the family patriarch, as deserving a death as it may be.

Facing Kri, I arch my brows at her in warning. After a silent conversation passes between us, she ultimately acquiesces, releasing him unceremoniously.

As she struts away, she hits him with a death glare. “Next time, I won’t give you a chance to apologize. You better start showing ladies some respect.”

Sadly, he’s deaf as a doorpost, so he likely didn’t hear the threat.

Come to think of it, he might not have heard her ask him to apologize in the first place.

Dickie watches Kri retreat while straightening his collar. A Grinch-style grin slithers onto his wrinkled face. If he weren’t so close to meeting his maker, I’d love to punch him. Just once.

Cara bends down in front of her grandfather, bracing her hands on her thighs. “Didn’t I tell you that you’d flip up the wrong skirt one day?”

For the first time, he looks contrite. With his face pointing downward, he offers a silent nod, accepting his scolding.

Shaking her head, Grammy Ellie sighs. “Nothing saysMerry Christmaslike a choke hold in the maternity ward.” Her eyes take on a wistful look. “It reminds me of our first Christmas together. His face was a similar shade of red as he gasped for air that night too. Except I was the one having a baby.”

Wide eyes meet agape jaws all around the room. It’s grown oddly silent since conversations dried up in lieu of watching the show over here.

Even Miles, Cara’s teenage son, approaches with curiosity. He’s never one to be in the thick of things, so it strikes me a bit odd that he’s coming over so boldly.

“Okay, I’m just gonna ask what we’re probably all wondering,” Lettie starts, her shoulders slumping in defeat. “Who was choking him while you were having a baby? I’m gonna guess a nurse.”

Grammy looks deadass at her and answers without a hint of humor in her tone. “My father. And then my brothers. Also, my mother.”

Snickers, giggles, and snorts sail around the room.

Having come to stand behind Lettie, Tomer wraps his arm protectively around her waist. “Why?”

Flatly, Grammy answers, “So the priest could finish performing the Exorcism.”

Always with the one-liners, Miles deadpans, “Too bad it didn’t work.”

Chapter 25

Glad tidings of great fuckery

BIG AL (AKA: SANTA BOSS DAD)

What in the fresh holiday hell have I walked into?

Bedlam has befallen the waiting room.

Music is playing from a phone, judging by the tinny sound. My eyes seek out the source, landing on Sue’s brother, Nick, holding out his cell toward two of my employees. I close my eyes, praying that when I open them, they’re not bringing shame upon the Redleg name.

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