Page 71 of Ho Ho Oh No

It’s making me Grinchy.

Each time Kri paces by me in that fucking skirt and those unbelievably sexy boots, I want to pull her onto my lap. Directly onto my cock.

Fuck.

I’m gonna be a selfish prick for a minute. Apologies in advance.

How long is this gonna take? Will Sammy be in labor twice as long since she’s having twins? And do we all need to wait here the entire time?

I’m bricked up like a chimney. The type the jolly chubby one shoves his way down.

Yes, I’m referring to the chubby in my pants.

Well, theshortsI’m wearing under this stupid robe. Of all the times Sammy could have gone into labor, she decided wheneveryone is dressed up like dumbasses would be best. Even more troubling is she’s the one who told us we had to wear costumes.

You know what? That’s actually impressive.

Solid prank. Skillful execution. Five stars.

No wonder Sawyer’s obsessed with her.

Kri makes another pass, and I get a whiff of her seductive rose scent. I stifle the urge to bite my knuckle.Shifting in my chair, I attempt to adjust myself covertly.

After a few more trips around the waiting room, Kri finally stops wearing a hole in the floor. While twirling a few short strands of hair around one finger, she taps the heel of her boot rapidly against the linoleum.

Starting to grow concerned for the flooring in here since she seems to have a vendetta against it or this whole place.

Oh damn.

I pinch the bridge of my nose and curse under my breath. She’s probably anxious about being back in the hospital, and I’m over here worrying about my heavy balls.

Figure that out all by yourself, numb nuts?

Suck on my Santa sack, conscience.

Kri’s memories of this place aren’t the fondest. Val’s aren’t either. Last time she was here, she left in tears.

I glance at the row of chairs behind me where Val’s sitting.

Correction. Where shewassitting.

For the second time tonight, adrenaline assaults me with a kick to the taint.

“Val?” I holler, lurching to my slippered feet.

Kri shushes me, marching over with her palms extended. “Easy, Shep. They went to the vending machine down the hall. She wanted a soda.”

“They?”

“Yeah. Val and Junior. You know? Her bodyguard.” She looks at me like I’ve got shit for brains.

Kri’s always been a smart lass. Insightful.

I let my neck go slack, lolling it around my shoulders to loosen myself the fuck up. “Sorry, baby girl. I guess I wasn’t thinking.”

She lets me encircle her waist and pull her close. Her hands fall to my chest. “Are you nervous about being back here?”

Her words practically smack me in the face. I blink rapidly to clear my shock.

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