Page 105 of Ho Ho Oh No

Unfortunately, we’re interrupted before I can apologize for bringing up ghosts from her darker times and explain what that night meant to me. What it meant to our entire Redleg family.

Dammit. I was so caught up in the moment with Maddie that I fail to notice several of mykidsapproaching.

Lionheart’s at the front of the group, holding a shoebox-sized wrapped gift. Sawyer, Shep, and Kri flank him on the right. My 3-person intel team plus Lettie stand on his left.

“One last gift,” Leo announces proudly, extending the box toward me.

I glance at Maddie before taking the box. If she gives me the slightest signal, I’ll send them away and return all my focus to her.

But like always, she refuses to put herself first.

She eagerly nods, her eyes bouncing between the gift and my face.“Open it.”

Stifling a pissy groan, I tug on the end of the bright gold ribbon. With far less grace than Maddie showed when opening her gift, I tear into mine.

Lettie reaches out to take the wadded-up wrapping paper from my hands as I stare in utter silence at the box. For ten. Fifteen seconds.

I don’t even open the box because I already know what’s inside.

Lettie whistles quietly. “Oh, good gravy. What did y’all do? He looks mad enough to chew nails and spit tacks.”

Tomer starts to chuckle but chokes it back. Klein’s less successful, so he attempts to hide it in a cough instead.

After crossing my arms and resting them on top of the box, I spear them with my bossiest fucking glower, all traces of Christmas cheer vaporized. “If this is my motherfucking tablet hidden in a signal jamming box, you’re all going on the shit list.”

Sawyer’s laugh erupts like a braying donkey. Leo tries to hold his in, utterly failing when a guffaw barrels out of him. The others follow suit.

Not me.

Inhaling briskly through my nose, I suppress my response, feigning anger.

“I didn’t even work here when this was taken,” Mia insists, her hands up in surrender position.

“Fine. You’re excused.” I double the intensity of my glare, openly scrutinizing her for signs of falsehood. “Unless you knew about it and never told me.”

“Nope. First I heard about it was tonight.”

After a brief pause, I wave her off. Her shoulders deflate with a relieved sigh.

I quite enjoy the threat of the shit list and the fear it evokes.

“I’d also like to request immunity,” Lettie tosses. “I’m innocent. In fact, I only came over ’cause I’m nosy as a raccoon snoopin’ round the can in the back alley of a greasy spoon.”

Kri fails to hide her face behind her palm as a two-note laugh sneaks out the side of her mouth. The sound causes a crack in the armor everyone’s hiding behind, and laughter undulates around the group again, louder this time and exploding in a crescendo of merriment.

We laugh so long and hard that I’m half tempted to let this one slide.

After all, it’s Christmas.

Nah.

Fuck that. They’re all on the shit list.

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