Page 1 of Swipe for Rivals

CHAPTER ONE

EVANAE

This was not how I wanted to meet my soulmate.

When I had planned on meeting the male I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with, I certainly had not expected to be seated across from three old ladies wearing blinding bright colored track suits that clashed with each other, a banshee named Beatrix who scheduled the appointment and was casting angry glances at the old women, and a skinny, pale computer nerd who stared at the tablet in front of him and muttered incantations under his breath.

The banshee, Beatrix, reached across the table and patted my hand, the paper thin skin rasping like sandpaper on my hand. "Now, dear. I know this is strange, but you’ve done the hard part and answered most of our questions. We just have a few left."

I tried not to recoil from the creepy smile the banshee gave me. "I don’t know how my favorite breakfast food matters."

One of the crones cackled. "So he knows what to feed you after a night of unbridled passion, girl. What else?"

I closed my eyes, but that only gave me the wrong image in my head. The older woman, her short, brown hair messy after that night of passion, wearing a flowery mummu. Nope, I did not need that image in my head.

"Leave her alone, Myrtle. You’re embarrassing the poor girl," the other woman wearing cat eye glasses said and giving me a kindly look. "Maybe she would prefer to wait for her mating ceremony before sharing intimate details."

The third lady glared at the other two, making me cringe in my seat. "Would you two shut up? Girl, lick the damned screen so we can get on with it. And finish the questionnaire."

Yup, I was definitely back in second grade being yelled at by my teacher for daydreaming again. Of course, that reminded me of my friend back then, the one male I thought I would possibly marry once we were old enough. He used to stand up for me with Mrs. Pethey, and everyone else who picked on me. But I hadn’t seen him in many years.

Beatrix stood, her patience clearly at an end. She pointed at the door and glared at the three older women who gave her varying looks of anger, innocence and outrage. "You three, out. I never asked for your help, and we certainly don’t need you pestering our clients."

They stood as one, which was creepy as hell, and stalked from the room, muttering under their breaths. Once they were gone, Beatrix sat back down and folded her hands in front of her. "Now, where were we? Oh yes, favorite breakfast food?"

Crap, I still hadn’t come up with one. "Chocolate chip scones."

The technomage snorted next to her but focused back on the tablet at her glare. He tapped the screen a few times, then passed it across the table. "Lick the screen and you’ll be done."

"Eeuw. Gross. How many people have touched that?" I was not catching any germs from who knew how many people had been all over that thing.

He rolled his eyes and whipped out a baby wipe. I cleaned the screen then dried it with a tissue. Tentatively, I leaned forward and licked, then gagged. "It tastes like oranges. I hate oranges."

He snatched the tablet away as if I had insulted his baby, which maybe I had. "We know. We’re working on it."

Beatrix pursed her lips like she’d just tasted a lemon, but smoothed it out when she caught me looking at her. "It’s fine, dear. Did you have any questions for us?"

I picked at the gold button on my asymmetrical black blazer. It might have been a bit formal for this interview, but I knew I looked good in this form-fitting blazer and I needed the comfort of that knowledge. Paired with skin-tight black jeans and thigh-high black boots, I was the picture of the dark elf lady I was supposed to be and would hopefully attract the perfect dark elf male to please my father and elevate our status even further in our society. Archaic? Sure. Traditional? Definitely. Did I have a choice? Not according to my father and the curse placed on the elves from long ago.

Any questions I had wouldn’t really matter. My father had laid out the situation plainly when he made this appointment the previous week, telling me it was time I did my duty to our family to find a mate. I had hoped to find one a more traditional way, meeting a dark elf male, feeling the sparks between us, falling in love, having the mating ceremony. I had even dreamed that maybe a certain light elf could even be the one for me but that was never going to happen. Thanks to a stupid feud, that no one knew the origins of, and curses flung about like a baby threw food, the only ways elves could find their mate was through this bizarre dating app, LoveBites. And dark elves only mated dark elves. We never crossed with light elves or the world would end, at least according to my father.

My nanny and the woman who raised me after my mother died giving birth to me, Sybil Pickerin, had a completely different take on the whole situation. She thought the feud was stupid and argued against me keeping this appointment, saying science was a pale second to true matchmaking and following your heart. My father had given up his place on the Council for me, to raise me and be there for me. Marrying someone and elevating our status was the least I could do to repay him.

A light flashed, and spots danced in front of my eyes. I blinked rapidly and stared at the technomage. "Sorry. The picture for the app."

He didn’t look the least bit sorry, clearly still pissed off about the oranges comment.

Beatrix ushered him out of the room and gave me a toothy smile that only creeped me out. "You’re welcome to have some coffee at our guest bar in the lobby while we wait for your matches. It should only be a few minutes."

"Matches? I thought I went home, and you sent them to me."

"Your father paid for us to rush this. Step outside and we’ll call you when we’re ready."

Her words were polite, but the tone said, get the hell out of here, so I went. So much for the sweet banshee. No wonder people said she was a screeching bitch most of the time. When I entered the lobby, the three crones were sitting by the water cooler, knitting needles clacking, jaws flapping just as fast. I shuddered and reversed course to the vats of coffee, praying it wasn’t bitter and sludgy. I deserved a trip to the Magic Beans Coffee Shop for something sweet after surviving this circle of hell.

Before I could pour the coffee, I stopped. Wait, Sybil was supposed to meet me here. Where was she? Oh Goddess, what trouble was she causing? I frantically began looking for her, knowing she had a knack for getting into the wrong place at the very wrong time. She was more like a pixie than a witch.

I went to open a door and, before I could, it opened and a man strode through, colliding with me, almost knocking me to the floor. Before I fell, he caught me by the upper arms and hauled me close.

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