Page 29 of Hawk

“Not yet. I’ll have Declan and Lee drop you off. They’ll be hanging around outside your place to be on the safe side.”

“Why don’t they have road names?”

He shrugs. “They’re prospects. They want to be Redemption Riders, but they have to prove themselves and pay their dues.”

“Like a fraternity?”

He laughs so loud, I’m sure everyone in the shop can hear him. It takes him a minute to settle, then he tells me, “Hell no! Redemption Riders are serious people. We believe in loyalty to each other and the club for the rest of our lives. We’re not frat boys out to get drunk and laid. We can do that anytime. It’s a process, and because I fucked up once in taking in a guy who wasn’t serious, the club paid a hefty price for it. Now, it takes at least two years before you can become a full member, and you’re tested along the way. Every member gets to decide whether the prospect lives up to the crest we wear. No shortcuts, no excuses. If you want it, show me that you belong.”

“Sounds intense, honey,” I murmur.

“It is, and if it isn’t for them, well then, so be it. But if a guy makes the commitment, then he has brothers for life. There’s nothing we won’t do for him.”

I see how serious he is and sense the amount of responsibility that comes with his title. Being elected as the president, the leader of them all, has to be the greatest honor a man can receive from his brothers. “They love you,” I say.

“I fucking hope so, ’cause I love them. We came together because each of us has fought a battle. Each man’s story is his to tell when he’s ready. But until he gives it to me, I won’t move anyone along to be a full member. It’s got nothing to do with knowing their business, because we all have screwed-up pasts. It’s about trust. You either trust your brothers or you don’t,” he says, slowly letting me go.

“What if it’s so bad, they don’t want to relive the past?”

“Can’t move forward without facing the past, Ginger. It’ll always stay with you until you let it go. You gotta learn from the past and still move ahead. Easier said than done, I know,” he says. Wise words. Words I need to think about regarding my own choices and my past.

I used to think that I fell into situations, good or bad, and had to make the most of it. Then, my thoughts became about the decisions that mold the shape of my future. Somewhere along the line, I lost sight of my choices. It doesn’t have to be just this or that. Why can’t I have it all? Sure, not all at one time, but that doesn’t mean I can’t work, go for my certification, and eventually start my own accounting firm. I want to get married, have babies, and have the love of family, just like my parents gave me and Kiera. I need to let go of the what-ifs.

“I want kids one day,” I blurt.

His face freezes for a moment, then a smile breaks out. “How many?”

“Three.”

“That’s specific.”

“A boy, a girl, then it wouldn’t matter.”

“Why not just a boy and a girl, then?”

“Because a girl could use a sister.”

“No guarantees you’d have two girls. And you just said it didn’t matter.”

“Another girl would be good, but with two brothers, no one will ever pick on her. They’d be her protectors.”

“Won’t matter. Their daddy will protect all three of them and teach them how to take care of themselves,” he finishes. My insides go soft and squishy. I picture Hawk with a baby on his chest, his hand cupping their little baby booty. A baby with cobalt-blue eyes, just like his daddy.

He reaches out to take my hand. “Taking you home now, baby.” I let him lead me out the door, where he calls over to Declan and Lee. They drop what they’re doing at the sound of Hawk’s voice and come running. “Take Ginger home for me. It’s your job to keep her safe until I get there. Eyes wide open, you hear?”

Declan and Lee look at one another, both stating an unequivocal “Yes, sir.” Their faces go from serious to super serious. I say my goodbyes to the guys, then I climb into the car, and we set off down the road. Declan is driving, but Lee scans the streets for potential dangers. I feel like a rock star in the back of a limo with bodyguards. I would almost laugh, but I don’t think Declan or Lee would think it’s as hilarious as I do.

We pull into my driveway, but as I move to open my door, Lee says, “Please don’t. If you don’t mind giving me your keys, I want to go in and check it out.” He extends a hand for my keys.

I reach into my purse, but feel compelled to speak. “I don’t think that’s necessary. I’m sure we locked up before we left.”

“Please, Etain,” Declan says. “This is big for us, and we don’t want to take any chances.”

I give a shrug and drop the keys into Lee’s hand. “If it makes you feel better, go right ahead.” I think it’s sweet that these guys are taking precautions. Declan waits outside with me while Lee goes in. We seem to have caught Sasha’s attention, as she waves from her garden. “Do you have time to come over and hang out for a while?” I ask her.

“Isn’t Hawk coming by?”

“Not till much later. I could use the company. I was thinking of making a homemade pizza. Care to join?”

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