“Pull yourself together, Benson.” The sharp edge to her voice pulled me out of my head. “While he’s in the station, you need to be the professional I know you are.”
“But what about after?” The back of my eyes burned as my mind churned through a million possibilities I didn’t want to be true, a million lives he could have led. Fuck.
“Then you break if you need to. Let it out like a purge and make that therapist appointment. Name?”
“Sure.”
Montoya turned to her computer screen and waited, but when I didn’t speak for over a minute, she glared at me. “His name, Benson.”
“River Lane.”
“Parents?”
I shook my head. “As far as I’m aware, he’s been in the system his entire life.”
“Huh, that sucks.” That sucks, she says. My eyes rolled back in my head so hard, all I saw was bleak darkness. “School?”
“I don’t know. He was only seven when we met, and I was at middle school while he was in elementary.” I shrugged. “So I don’t know. I don’t know if he stayed in that home long enough to make it to Rayleigh High like I did.”
“No problem. At least you gave me something to go on.” I tried to force a small smile, but judging by the look on her face, I failed. “You take a walk, grab some air, then head back in and see what he’s willing to say.”
I pushed up, stretched the stiff muscles in my neck and shoulders, and kicked my chair back to my desk. “Thanks for having my back.”
“I’m your partner and your friend, idiot.” Her smile beamed across her face. “Is there anything you need when you get back?”
“Just an extra notepad and pen.” I walked away before she could ask anything else and tugged on my collar. The stiff material felt like it was slicing into my neck, and I couldn’t breathe.
I loosened my tie as I stepped outside, exhaling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. How damn selfish was that thought? It wasn’t like I’d endured whatever River had. I’d lived through my share of shit too, but his was on a whole other level.
The early afternoon sun mocked me as it shone in a cloudless blue sky while a hurricane of emotions brewed inside me. My hand absentmindedly tapped my pocket, making sure my wallet was there as I ambled down the road in a daze to the local coffee shop. The crap back at the station hadn’t cut it, and I needed to see that there was something good in the world before I dove back into the hell that was waiting for me in interview room five.
CHAPTER 4
RIVER
The silence left in his wake was suffocating. It had been oppressive before, but now it was crushing with its intensity. The walls were closing in around me, caging me in, just like they had one way or another throughout my life. Just because you couldn’t always see the bars, didn’t mean you weren’t trapped. It was a lie to believe cages were only physical; the mental ones were far more dangerous and could be effectively manipulated to control you.
Bane had burst back into my life only to leave it once again, taking the last fractured pieces of hope that I’d clung to with him. He might have only been in this godforsaken room with me for a few seconds, a minute at most, but he had saturated every part of it.
It was hard to think with a pickaxe chipping away at my skull, but I tried. I needed to know how Dale, Gabe, and Max were. They were the closest thing to a family I had, even if it was only our shitty circumstances that united us. I prayed they weren’t stuck in a room like I was, being drilled for information by some hardass who thought he was on the side of the righteous, fighting the good fight.
How could they believe that, when it was people like me that got charged with prostitution, and the ones who bought and sold our bodies walked away free? I’d bet everything I had that whoever booked us that night didn’t spend more than an hour in a cell—if they even made it that far. There would be no criminal record of them on the system because money paid. Guys like the ones from the hotel always had deep pockets and could lawyer up in seconds.
People like me, lost in this twisted world, trying to survive as best we could, were the ones that suffered. With no education or money to start out with, I had to do whatever it took to make it from one day to the next. After living on the streets, anything was better than that—even selling myself for nothing more than a roof over my head.
My clammy cheek rested on the cool metal table as my eyes shuttered closed, darkness becoming my solace. It was better than the dots of color that had been dancing in front of my eyes as I stared fixated on the door, wondering if he would return.
“Have you had a drink recently?” Bane’s deep voice rumbled in my ear. I jolted upright, the two-way mirror in front of me rippling as my stomach coiled tight. Blinking slowly, taking steady deep breaths, I pushed through the vicious waves of nausea that rose within me.
Once the world stopped turning itself inside out, I turned to face him. Even crouched down next to me, Bane still towered over me. His black uniform shirt hugged his well-defined broad shoulders, the sleeves coming down to the thickest part of his bulging biceps. Tattoos decorated his dark skin. He always said he wanted them when he was younger. I guess at least someone’s dreams came true. My eyes traced the geometric fine lines flowing down his corded forearms and onto the back of his enormous hands and thick fingers. Everything about Baneshould intimidate—his size, power, the presence he filled the room with. But me? I felt nothing but safe.
“Riv?” I dragged my eyes away from the intricate artwork on his skin and looked into eyes that made my soul ache. “Have you had anything to drink since you’ve been in this room?” He spoke softly, like he was afraid of scaring me.
A smile flickered at the corner of my mouth that I tried to hide by rolling my bottom lip between my teeth. He was so damn sweet. His brown and blue eyes fixed on me, a furrow forming between his brows as he patiently waited for my answer.
I wanted to fall headfirst into his arms and never look at the outside world again. My heart stumbled over itself in my chest, and I shook my head.
A look of defeat washed over Bane’s features that bled into anger that tightened the corners of his eyes. “Nothing?” His tone thickened, darkened, and his fingers clenched into a fist before releasing. “You’ve been in here nearly four hours and not had a drink?”