Page 47 of The Lies We Believe

“Alright,” I ground out, but I didn’t miss the warning laced in her voice.

“Promise me, Benson.”

I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation. “I promise.”

“Good.” With that, she spun on her heel and stalked away from me.

I found Dr. Morris at the busy nurses’ station, and as he explained the state River was in when he was brought in, it took everything in me not to punch my fist through the wall. The only good bit of news was that once River had eaten, I’d be able to take him home. Acting as his guardian, I completed all the relevant release paperwork he handed my way, so once he gave the all clear, we could get out of this place.

“He will be fine,” Dr. Morris said, pulling me from my memories. “He just needs to rest and take it easy. I’m sure you’reaware that his body is still recovering from years of abuse and neglect. I urge you to make him see a therapist. The physical symptoms will heal and scar, but the mental toll will live rent free and fester in his mind, until it pushes him to the brink.”

“I know.”

He shuffled on his feet and looked like he’d swallowed something sour before pinning me with a steely gaze. “I’m not saying he is, but…” I held my breath, not willing to hear the words that would come out of his mouth. “I don’t think he is coping, and his mutism is a sign that things may be far worse than you think. Tread carefully, officer.”

“Of course, I will,” I said, adding every ounce of authority I could to my voice as I passed him back the completed paperwork. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do to see him happy and healthy.” The doctor’s eyes widened at me as I left him with his mouth gaping and headed back to River’s room.

“Are you comfortable?” My voice was low and gentle as I pushed the door open and closed it softly behind me. His deep forest-green eyes glimmered in the dim light as he tracked every step I took until I was clutching the bottom of his bed.

A wan smile flickered at the corners of his lips, the swelling on his face stark even in the low light. “Mmmm.” River made a noise in the back of his throat, which I took as an agreement.

“I need to talk to you about what happened. Why you left and where you went.”

“I know.” It was lucky I’d picked up some words through lip reading, because he was barely audible to my ears.

“It shouldn’t take too long, but I need you to be honest, River. It doesn’t matter about my feelings. I just need to know what went through your head and why you did what you did, especially since you were in protective custody in my house.” By the time the last words left me, my control had snapped, and I was basically shouting at him. My frustration and unbridled fearboiled over so much that a young nurse stuck her head through the door and glared at me.

“I don’t care who you are.” She pointed at me. “But he needs to rest. Shouting at him won’t help. You might be an officer of the law, but I will have you removed from his room by security if you can’t operate in a professional manner.”

“I’m sorry.” I looked down at my feet and then at her. “Emotions are getting a little high in here.”

“You’re wrong. It’s your emotions that are getting the better of you, officer. And it’s not me you should apologize to, but my patient.”

River scoffed, and I turned my gaze back to him and smirked suitably chastised. “I apologize.” Then to the nurse, I said, “We’ll be fine. The doctor said he can go once he’s eaten. Can we get him some food?”

“We serve dinner at five p.m. He’ll get it then.” With that, she shut the door and a tenuous silence filled the room.

“Well, she was fun,” I said to break the ice, and flexed my fingers around the rail at his feet. “Is it alright if I sit and start again?” River dipped his chin and my heart skipped a beat. With a calming breath, I grabbed the chair and slid into it, momentarily forgetting what I should do as my eyes traced over every blooming bruise on his face and the way they decorated his neck and arms.

“T-tal…”

I nodded and pieced myself back together. I couldn’t afford to break in front of him. Not now. I had to find the strength to ask the hard questions and face the truth I’d rather run from. Childish? Maybe. But I’d never been in this position before; caring so deeply about someone who was involved in a case, enough for me to want to choose their happiness and health over the importance of my job. I was so screwed when it came to River, but in a way, it made me feel lighter. I had something tofight for now that was mine. He was mine. I’d make damn sure of it.

Bower’s voice rolled through my head.Only do this if you can keep your emotions out of it. He is a witness in this case, nothing more. Got it?

I rolled my eyes at my own naivety. From the very beginning, I knew my emotions were too entangled with everything that was River Lane. Yet, I’d foolishly convinced myself that I was professional enough to keep them neatly compartmentalized.

“Here.” I slipped my hand in my pocket and pulled out his phone, desperately wanting to scold him for leaving it behind and making himself untraceable.Maybe that was the point?I was almost certain he didn’t know it had a tracker, considering he’d never had a phone before. I’d buried it in an obscure folder that I highly doubted he’d even looked at. But he wasn’t an idiot, and probably knew his location could be triangulated through cell towers. Possibly?

River held out his hand and took it from me. His face paled as he flipped it over and turned it on. Guilt flashed deep in his eyes before they shuttered closed and his walls solidified before me.

“I thought it would be best if we did it this way,” I hedged. “I’ll ask the questions and you can type your response, okay?”

K

“I need you to be honest with me now, River. This is for your own safety and protection, but also for the case.”

He flinched at my words and fuck, how I wanted to kick myself in the ass for being a heartless dick. With trembling hands, I latched onto his arm. The feel of his skin beneath my fingertips was like a brand on my heart. River held himself still as I touched him, but the fear lingering in his pinched eyes made me feel like I was splintering at the seams. I was a mixed upcocktail of emotions, and I didn’t know which one was going to come out on top. Christ, I was giving myself whiplash, let alone him. Gently stroking my thumb across his arm, I took the time to order the chaotic thoughts in my head. Fear, desire, and the need for control were all warring inside me.

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