Page 35 of The Lies We Believe

“It’s ok baby, I’ve got you,” I whispered against his neck, inhaling him. Lust burned through me, reshaping me into something that was worthy of him. “I want to see you, all of you.” I could beg and plead, instinctively knowing he’d give me anything I asked for because that was what he was conditioned to do. Be a fuck toy, a hole to use. But I wanted him whole. I needed him to choose this. Me.

“I…” He licked his lips and gasped for breath. I pushed up onto my elbows, giving him some breathing room and notching down my intensity. It was the hardest thing I’d had to do. “I-I want… t-to see you too.”

My breath whooshed past my lips, and I nodded. Bracing on my right arm, I flicked the button of my pants open with my left and pulled the zipper down. With trembling hands, River released his hold on the sheets to wrap his fingers around my jeans and slowly pushed them down my thighs until I could kick them off.

“Wow, Bane.” His words were pained. I couldn’t tell if it was from desire or fear. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, then his eyes flicked up to mine. Shadows swirled in their depths, coiling around us, suffocating me.

With my arm wrapped around him, I repositioned us until we were lying on our sides, resting against the pillows. I cupped his face, brushing my thumb over his cheekbone. The heat radiating off him made my fingers tingle. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I...” My teeth sunk into my bottom lip as I rolled over words in my head. “I want you.” His lips twitched, but his eyes still looked haunted. “I want to giveyou everything.” I brushed a kiss against his parted lips. “You need to be comfortable, to feel safe.”

River cut my words off, placing his finger on my lips before pushing against my chest until I was on my back. My fingers latched onto his hair, pulling him into me like our lips were drawn together by a magnetic connection that even fate couldn’t stop. He licked into my mouth, savoring each time our tongues wrapped around each other. My free hands stroked over the rigid scars along the lean planes of his back, wishing I could map them out with my lips and suck the memory of other men’s touch off his skin.

Breaking the kiss, River nuzzled into the crook of my neck and took a deep inhale before setting me alight. His touch superheated the blood pulsing through my veins. The feel of his sweat-slicked skin against mine made my body a molten ball of sensation. He teased and tortured his way down my chest to my abs, tracing each muscle with the tip of his tongue while incoherent sounds poured from my mouth.

“River…”

He sunk his fingers into the top of my thighs. The bite of pain made my cock jerk and slap against my abdomen, leaving a thick trail of precum across my skin. My eyes rolled back in my head as he lapped up the slick trail. He groaned as my taste spread across his tongue and flicked his eyes up to mine. Fire and ice warred in them. He was fighting his demons to bring me pleasure. I was his only focus. It was a heady feeling, but my stomach dropped as a darkness stole the light from him. Before I could say anything, he wrapped his hands around my shaft, giving it a slow pump.

River lowered his body to the bed between my spread legs. I bent my knees up, making room for his shoulders as he sank down and licked my balls before sucking one into his mouth. Tortured moans spilled from my mouth as he continued towork my length in his loose grip, alternating attention from one ball to the other.

I was a writhing mess, my body nothing but nerve endings. One hand buried itself in the damp strands of his hair, guiding him to my aching dick, while the other gripped the pillow by my head like I’d be swallowed into the vortex of the storm building between us if I let go. I was coming apart at the seams, drowning in sensation, and he hadn’t even wrapped his lips around my cock yet.

A filthy chuckle vibrated against my inner thigh. River’s talented mouth carved pleasure into my skin with lips and teeth, mapping out every erogenous zone I had, driving me to the brink of insanity. It had never leaked so much in my life. Precum flowed from my slit, lubricating the slide of his palm against the sensitive skin.

I blinked heavy lids when the tip of his tongue dipped into my slit. “Ooh, fuck.” He smiled around my tip as I forced my eyes to focus on the image I’d only ever dared dream was possible. And fuck, my imagination sucked, because it didn’t hold a candle to the vision before me.

River’s full lips stretched around the glans as his eyes bored into mine. A connection formed between us that could never break. I felt it take root in my soul; something precious I would spend the entirety of my life cultivating.

“Shit.” I gasped as he teased the frenulum with short feather-light licks before sucking on the tip and moaning as a bead of precum burst out of me. “So, so good, angel.”

He blinked up at me almost innocently, hollowing his cheeks and swallowing down my thick length. I nudged the back of his throat until his esophagus constricted around me. Tears filled his eyes, but it was like he didn’t need to breathe as he continued to swallow me down until his nose brushed my groin.

“Fuck. R-River…”

My head thrashed from side to side as he set a punishing pace, working up and down my length. Loud salacious noises filled the air, mixing with my labored inhales. Every thought in my brain scattered to the far reaches of the cosmos. Fireworks burst behind my eyelids as his drugging lips dragged me into a euphoria I’d never contemplated could exist. I was liquid, molded by his touch.

He looked exquisite kneeling before me, and if my brain worked, I’d have told him to stop. That it was me who was supposed to give him this level of pleasure, but every word died before it had a chance to form, and I succumbed to the spell he wove.

“I…fuck…I’m…c-c…”

River pressed two fingers on my taint, just below my prostate. A bolt of electricity shot straight to my balls, drawing them up tight against the base of my shaft as liquid fire flowed through my veins. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip so hard the copper tang of blood coated my tongue as my orgasm rolled through my body. It wasn’t a smooth build up; it was a ferocious storm. Lightning and thunder exploded through me as I thickened in his mouth, shaft pulsing, my balls impossibly tight. I fought to hold on for a second longer, fearing I’d never get to see this again.

“Oh, fuck! Ohmygod. Shitdamnit. Angel!!”

With a final gasping breath, River pulled off before swallowing me down even stronger than before. My hips arched off the bed, and I buried myself deeper inside him than was truly possible. White light blinded me and spread through me, my toes curling up as my orgasm detonated.

Wet heat surrounded me. So warm, so fucking real, I could smell my arousal thick in the air. My eyes flew open, and my heart caught in my throat as my erotic fantasy and reality collided. River’s lips stretched around my pulsing cock as Ispilled thick ropes of cum down his throat, flooding him. He wasn’t able to swallow it all, and it seeped from the corners of his lips.

“Oh my fucking god,” I cried, leaving my body. I floated among the stars, drowning under a sea of sensation so immense I couldn’t draw air into my lungs. My fingers wrapped in his hair, holding him to me, making sure he took every last drop before I released him.

Gasping breaths punctuated the silence filling my room. I forced my eyes open again to realize it wasn’t a dream. River knelt between my legs, chest heaving, my cum dripping down his chin. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he fought to get air into his lungs.

“Fuck! This…You. Oh my god.” Tears pricked my eyes as I doused the euphoric glow in ice water and jumped off my bed. River blinked, his eyes tracking my movements as I paced across my bedroom floor, back and forth like a wild animal caged and starved.

Shame and guilt blistered through me. Fuck! I’d thought I was dreaming. Even though it had seemed so real, it was a dream, a fantasy. But it wasn’t. It was real. Guilt seared my lungs as I struggled to catch my breath. I’d used him, just like everyone else. I was a piece of shit who didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as him. How could he ever trust me after this? Acid burned the back of my mouth as I swallowed a mouthful of vomit back down into my tumultuous stomach.

“This was a mistake—” I shook my head, words failing me. I was being swept out to sea for the crimes I’d committed against him. He trusted me, and I violated it just like everyone else had done. I’d used him. “This was a?—”

“If you say mistake again…” River rasped, barely able to form words from the abuse I’d inflicted on his throat. He clutchedone hand around his neck, stroking it absentmindedly with his thumb while the other knuckled over his heart.

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