Page 29 of The Lies We Believe

“I-it’s…f-fine,” I rasped, stroking Shadow as he slept against my chest.

“It is?” Colton’s eyebrows hit his hairline and a cunning smile curved his lips. “Of course it is. I won’t be long.” He patted Bane’s heaving chest, turned on his heel, and whistled his way out of the house.

“I can’t believe you,” Bane grouched, shaking his head as he toed the floorboards. He shoved his hands in the back pockets of his pants and peeked up at me. “What did you want to do with it?”

“Shadow?” I whispered, holding the little pup against me and feeling some of the ice that had lanced my veins thaw at Bane’s question.

Bane nodded. “He’s clearly here for you, not me.” I scoffed. “So we can stay in and watch TV, or we could go out and get you some fresh air and take the little guy for a walk. The choice is yours.”

My teeth sunk into my bottom lip, thrown by the question and the choices. I’d spent so much of the last few years scared shitless and following orders that it was strange to be given a choice. I didn’t think I was allowed to go outside after the first time I’d met Colton. Bane had made it seem like an impossibility for my safety, but now? Now, it was an option, and I didn’t exactly know what to make of that. I mulled over the merits of watching the rest of the episode or getting outside for a bit. The chance of fresh air and the wind on my face was something I’d missed so much being caged in that rotten room. The sky was overcast, a dove gray with wild clouds rolling in that made it look like it was going to rain.

“I’ve always wanted to dance in the rain.” I smiled a wobbly smile, wincing at the pain that seared my throat as my breath stuttered.

Bane tipped his head to the side like I was a puzzle he was trying to piece together. “Dancing in the rain, huh?”

Heat filled my cheeks, and I hid behind the blankets. “Yeah.” My vocal cords ached so much, tears pricked my eyes.

“Here.”

Bane handed me an uncapped chilled bottle of water, which I gratefully took, swallowing down a few mouthfuls. The cool liquid soothed the raw lining of my throat, numbing the pain for a while. I smiled in thanks and handed it back to him. Bane chuckled with amusement as he leaned over me and whipped a bead of water off my lips with a gentle swipe of his thumb. Ifroze, mesmerized, as he then brought that thumb to his mouth and sucked off the single bead of moisture.

“O-oh,” I gasped. Warmth flushed through me, every part of me magnetized, drawn to the beautiful monolith of a man standing in front of me. I wanted to merge myself with him so we could never be parted, so he would never forget me. Our time was fleeting, and I hated that more than anything. Right person, wrong time and place. Maybe in my next life, I’d be a person worthy of his love.

Bane cleared his throat, effectively breaking the moment. “I’m, uh, just going to go take a piss.” How pleasant. I rolled my eyes and sunk my fingers into Shadow’s soft fur to stop the aching burn building in the back of my eyes. “And grab a jacket before we head out. I, um…” He licked his lips and shifted foot to foot. “I suggest you do the same.”

“Well, that was interesting, huh?” I whispered, as I looked into Shadow’s dark eyes and shrugged. “Don’t look at me like that, please. I know exactly what you’re thinking, but I can’t. He’s too good for me. In what world do we work, huh?”

I pulled Shadow tightly against my chest and carried him up to my room. Once the door closed behind us, the vise around my chest loosened, and I sucked in a deep breath as the little pup settled onto my bed, scooting around until he found a comfy spot to curl up in.

My mind was in turmoil. Being here was more dangerous than I could have anticipated. I wanted things I shouldn’t, couldn’t, want.Don’t make me fall for you, Bane, because there will be no one there to catch me if I do.

I wiped the stray tear from my cheek when I caught sight of it in the bathroom mirror. The man staring back at me had changed. The richer tone to my complexion looked more natural, and my cheeks were flushed with life. The dark bruises beneath my eyes had softened, and the glimmer in my eyeslooked a lot like hope. Warning bells sounded in my head.Abort. Abort. Abort.

Every wall I rebuilt, Bane effortlessly destroyed. He crushed them under his feet like a barbarian coming after my soul. The part that hurt the most was he didn’t even realize he was leaving me defenseless in a world that wanted to swallow me whole and spit me out in the gutter.

Just one more night,I promised myself. Just one more chance to look at him. One last opportunity to taste him. One last time to see him smile, that special one belonging only to me.

Tomorrow, I would set him free.

With my jacket and scarf on and Shadow in my arms, I raced down the stairs, ready to savor every last second I had with him.

Bane looked up at me, his heart-stopping smile spread across his face. “You ready to go?” I nodded, and Shadow wriggled in my arms and jumped down to the floor, pawing at the door. Bane laughed. The deep rumbling boom was one I’d never forget. It was tattooed in my memory. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, holding me close, the movement as natural as breathing, and guided us out of the house. “Come with me. There’s somewhere I’d like to show you.”

My heart lurched in my chest.I’d follow you anywhere, in this world and the next, if only I could.“Sure.”

CHAPTER 13

BANE

As broken as River seemed, he had this undeniable strength to him that captivated me. I craved his presence. Even if we didn’t speak, just breathing the same air as him filled me with a strength I didn’t know I possessed. He was a mystery I wanted to unravel. There were layers and layers to him I couldn’t wait to peel back, but fear of what I might discover held me back.

Every time I thought I breached his walls, another one came up stronger than the one before. The push and pull was infuriating, but it breathed life into me and gave me hope. Every little morsel I learned about him had me on my knees, begging for more. I wasn’t naïve enough to think he’d given me anything more than the Cliffs Notes version of his life. He’d done what he agreed to and given us vital information that related to the case and had made the next set of raids that we were planning possible. Without him, we would still be sitting there with our dicks in our hands, going around in circles.

I hadn’t slept on the floor outside his locked door for some time, but that didn’t mean I didn’t lie in bed listening to his haunted screams. The visceral agony from each sound that was wrenched from him flayed the flesh from my bones before itground them to dust. I was trapped in an impossible position, and I didn’t have the mental capacity to work out what was the right thing to do.

My heart made me believe I’d follow River into a burning building because every thought I had was consumed with him. Only him. My brain was filled with logical, if somewhat cynical, thoughts. It urged me to err on the side of caution and not lose myself to overt romantic notions. Something that had never been an issue before in my few fleeting relationships, but this wasn’t one. It couldn’t be.

River was a sex worker, whether I wanted to face that truth or not. They had abused, used, and beaten him in every conceivable way. It had caused irrevocable damage he might never heal from. I had to be a realist, but being around him made me want things I knew I couldn’t. He had severe PTSD and flinched at the slightest sound, cowering on the floor or underneath the nearest surface. He had no sense of self or self worth. It was clear every hour that passed that his mental state was declining. The psychological trauma was consuming him. Every day, another piece of him flaked off and died. His body was recovering, but his mind was failing him.

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